Ladies if you not interested in a guy who send you a message online, why do you..

[PhillyDude]

reply with "thanks" instead of ignoring his message completely?

 

 

This has to be the most annoying thing about online dating.

[Cypress25]

Probably because some guys get really mad when you ignore them and they send a follow-up message saying "If you're not interested, the least you could do is tell me instead of just ignoring me, that's rude."

 

Personally, I don't respond to messages unless I'm interested. If I'm not interested, I just ignore it because I don't have time to send 200 "thanks, but no thanks" messages every day. Some guys do send nasty messages, demanding to know why I'm ignoring them, but I ignore those too. Can't please everyone.

[USMCHokie]

Hmmm, in my limited online dating experience, I've never gotten a "thanks" rejection...

[Lucky_One]

Why? Because I would think it was rude of me to not respond in some way.

 

Sheesh. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[fortyninethousand322]

Probably because some guys get really mad when you ignore them and they send a follow-up message saying "If you're not interested, the least you could do is tell me instead of just ignoring me, that's rude."

 

Personally, I don't respond to messages unless I'm interested. If I'm not interested, I just ignore it because I don't have time to send 200 "thanks, but no thanks" messages every day. Some guys do send nasty messages, demanding to know why I'm ignoring them, but I ignore those too. Can't please everyone.

 

Yeah this is pretty true. There's really no way to respond to a message from someone you're not interested that satisfies everyone.

 

The only thing I don't like is when women put on their profile that they want you to write a message with correct grammar and spelling and a message that shows you read their profile. To me, it's misleading because it makes it sound like they're more likely to respond if you do that. When really, we all know that it's completely b.s.

[dasein]

Do all sites not have the "sorry not interested" button like match? They should if they don't. I'd rather have a "not interested" response than have a custom email ignored entirely.

[PhillyDude]

Do all sites not have the "sorry not interested" button like match? They should if they don't. I'd rather have a "not interested" response than have a custom email ignored entirely.

 

If a woman is not interested then no reply is needed. If a woman sent some crap like not interested response I would respond in a nasty way

[dasein]

If a woman is not interested then no reply is needed. If a woman sent some crap like not interested response I would respond in a nasty way

 

I'm sure you will have much success with OLD.

[joystickd]

That is why I say crazy stuff online. Like on tagged i can see all the women status messages so i leave crazy comments on their statuses. If they like what I say they respond somehow if they don't they ignore. just sending a message is just like everyone else you gotta be bold. Its kind of like real life they won't say no just use a creative excuse because they can't be rude. In a way they are built on rules just like what morpheus on the matrix said about the agents

[LittleTiger]

When I was OLD'ing I responded to almost every message I got - the only ones I ignored were the 'hey babe' or 'you're hot' ones - really, if guy can't come up with something more imaginative than that........!!!

 

Otherwise I responded to whatever the message was that I recieved - regardless of my level of interest.

 

For example:

 

A one line message of "Hello, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're very beautiful"' would get a reply of "Hello. Thank you for the compliment " If their initial message was short and sweet, then so was mine.

 

If they sent three paragraphs on why they thought we would get along, I would send three paragraphs back on why I either agreed or disagreed.

 

What exactly are you saying in your messages that produces a response of 'thanks'? If all you're saying is "Hey, I like your photos" or "Great profile", what other response would you expect?

[Emilia]

If a woman is not interested then no reply is needed. If a woman sent some crap like not interested response I would respond in a nasty way

 

It's men like you that drive women away from online dating sites.

[oaks]

reply with "thanks" instead of ignoring his message completely?

 

I've had a few of these. Sometimes just "Thanks." and sometimes something a little longer like "Thank you for your sweet message but I don't think we're a match."

 

Usually I reply, politely, to say something like "No worries. Thanks for taking the time to let me know." Even more rarely this turns into a conversation, and from those replies (perhaps 5 women over the last year) the answer to 'why even reply?' has been either "because it's the polite thing to do since you wrote a nice message" or "I always reply to anyone who wrote more than one line"

 

This has to be the most annoying thing about online dating.

 

Why do you find it annoying that someone should thank you for contacting her rather than ignoring you?

[oaks]

If a woman sent some crap like not interested response I would respond in a nasty way

 

That's disappointing. Are you usually a nasty person?

[phineas]

Do all sites not have the "sorry not interested" button like match? They should if they don't. I'd rather have a "not interested" response than have a custom email ignored entirely.

 

How custom do you need to get?

I plan on just commenting on something in the profile to prove I read it then tell them i'd be interested in getting to know them.

 

A few line's really.

 

It really wouldn't bother me if they responded to me or not.

 

However I havn't actually tried this yet so i'm not sure if i'll still feel the same way if I message a bunch of women & get rejected by all of them.

 

eh, probably wouldn't happen.

[grkBoy]

I'd rather get the "thanks, but I don't think we would be a good match" message over nothing.

[CarrieT]

I belong to the old school of acknowledging every message receive and I have ALWAYS responded with a "thanks, but no thanks" message.

 

But this isn't just about girls. I have written a lot of men my age (mid 40s and older) who have never bothered to acknowledge my First Contact.

 

It isn't a gender-specific problem; it is a social issue of common courtesy which flies out the window when it comes to the internet.

[dasein]

How custom do you need to get?

I plan on just commenting on something in the profile to prove I read it then tell them i'd be interested in getting to know them.

 

A few line's really.

 

A few lines is good, I usually made three points, one clever funny, two serious, that responded to specific things in their profile in two small paragraphs max.

 

The reason you want response of any kind is that a huge number of profiles are either completely inactive or fakes. Getting response, even rejection, allows you to learn how to tell the difference in your area, and home in on the legit profiles. The most common rejection I got was "I have my hands full and can't add more to the mix at the moment." This is also the most common rejection I sent. If they are still active after a month or so, drip on them just like a sales prospect with a very short mail. OLD environment is changing by the minute. A woman who is convinced she has found "the one" in the morning may feel differently in the afternoon. Much of it is blind luck, sending mails at the right time purely by chance. Lots of women leave a profile up without paying for match, even logging in every few days which gives the illusion they are active when they are not, either involved or not interested in dating for whatever reason. Those can't even see your emails on a pay site, so you will never get any response from those. I find it useful data to be able to tell the difference, so prefer some response.

[ThsAmericanLife]

When I was doing OLD... I pulled my pictures down and did all of the contacting myself.

 

Saved me the trouble of worrying about any of this...

 

BTW, the (relative) quality of the men that I agreed to meet went way up.

 

Not far enough for me to continue doing OLD (at least where I currently live)... but enough for me to see a system that works better than posting pictures and sorting through the range of emails.

 

The best part about it??? I didn't have losers drooling over me and my inbox was empty save for the couple of guys I was truly interested in. Which is how I liked it.

 

Believe it or not, only one or two men I ever initiated contact with failed to contact me back. Even without pictures.

 

Go figure.

[Cypress25]

The only thing I don't like is when women put on their profile that they want you to write a message with correct grammar and spelling and a message that shows you read their profile. To me, it's misleading because it makes it sound like they're more likely to respond if you do that. When really, we all know that it's completely b.s.

 

Well, if a woman specifies on her profile that she appreciates good grammar, it probably does mean she's more likely to respond to those messages. But it's not a guarantee. She's not saying "I promise to respond to any message with good grammar." Obviously, she also has to be interested in the guy. Good grammar is just one of her requirements, it's not the only requirement.

[PhillyDude]

I'd rather get the "thanks, but I don't think we would be a good match" message over nothing.

 

Getting nothing confirms it's no interest.

 

I got a message from a ugly woman today and I blocked her

[forms]

The only thing I don't like is when women put on their profile that they want you to write a message with correct grammar and spelling and a message that shows you read their profile. To me, it's misleading because it makes it sound like they're more likely to respond if you do that.

 

What they are telling you that if you write like a neanderthal, or sound like you are completely uneducated, you have no chance with them. If you send a "form email" that you send every woman who signs up (and they are obvious), you have no chance.

 

But if you use spell check and standard grammar and give some indication that you've actually read her profile (ie, aren't desperately throwing mud at everything in a skirt), then you might have a chance.

 

Hideous spelling and grammar is like a guy in a wife-beater with no teeth. You just KNOW you don't want to go there.

[SingleinSouth]

I met my current bf OLD. I would say that you need to toughen up! I would get rude comments for replying politely or for not replying at all. One time, I got a message back after a polite rejection asking me if I would help him with his profile and when I did...he sent me a message back with rude suggestions for mine, haha. So after all that crazy stuff, I just started ignoring messages when I wasn't interested. Almost everyone faces some level of rejection with OLD. Sometimes I even delete without reading- like if he has one of those practically naked pumped up mirror pictures on his profile. Ugh. Or if it says "hang out" or "other relationship" on his profile. Please guys, don't put a picture of you and your Mom on there either.

[D-Lish]

reply with "thanks" instead of ignoring his message completely?

 

 

This has to be the most annoying thing about online dating.

 

I always just delete a message if I'm not interested. As other people have said, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I've gotten rude messages saying "the least you could have done was say no thanks"...

[PhillyDude]

I always just delete a message if I'm not interested. As other people have said, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I've gotten rude messages saying "the least you could have done was say no thanks"...

 

I never had time for that when it's so many other woman online

[D-Lish]

I never had time for that when it's so many other woman online

 

Well, you'd think most would feel as you do.

Some people react to rejection with a lot of anger, or they take it way too personally.