theconz Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 do people play games? Don't they realize that they will drive away any self respecting potential mate? Had a great date with a woman Friday night. We laughed til we cried literally. Exchanged texts on the way home for an hour. Mushy stuff. Yesterday evening I asked her if she wanted to go watch the football game tonight somewhere out. She said she didn't like football but thanks for thinking of her. Now for me, if I like a woman, I will sit through 3 hours of Rosie O'Donnell reruns to hang with her. And I can't stand Rosie O'Donell! Then she texts "I just blew it, uh?". I didn't reply and haven't. But I was thinking, "yes u did". End of exchange figure she doesn't want to hang with me okey doke later. Then this morning she "favorites" me on the dating site we met on. Here we go with the games. I really liked her but this nonsense turns me off. Should I tell her or just let it go and move on? Why do people do this?
eweezzee Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 do people play games? Don't they realize that they will drive away any self respecting potential mate? Had a great date with a woman Friday night. We laughed til we cried literally. Exchanged texts on the way home for an hour. Mushy stuff. Yesterday evening I asked her if she wanted to go watch the football game tonight somewhere out. She said she didn't like football but thanks for thinking of her. Now for me, if I like a woman, I will sit through 3 hours of Rosie O'Donnell reruns to hang with her. And I can't stand Rosie O'Donell! Then she texts "I just blew it, uh?". I didn't reply and haven't. But I was thinking, "yes u did". End of exchange figure she doesn't want to hang with me okey doke later. Then this morning she "favorites" me on the dating site we met on. Here we go with the games. I really liked her but this nonsense turns me off. Should I tell her or just let it go and move on? Why do people do this? How many times have you hung out before friday? You need alittle more patience my friend, You hungout friday, and text her next day to hangout on Sunday? I understand if you had a good time with someone but you need to calm down and not rush things, especially asking her to watch football already?? Her texting you "i just blew it" is her feeling bad for turning it down becuase she prob wants to hangout with you just not watch football and you ignoring her is REALLY BLOWING IT shes not playing any games. She obviously doesnt like football. If she didnt like mexican food would you take her there anyway and make her order something off the menu? No, if you want to make it right hangout with her tonite and dont watch the game, go to like Dave and Busters, this way its a date, you play games and you can periodically watch the game.
TigerCub Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 do people play games? Don't they realize that they will drive away any self respecting potential mate? Had a great date with a woman Friday night. We laughed til we cried literally. Exchanged texts on the way home for an hour. Mushy stuff. Yesterday evening I asked her if she wanted to go watch the football game tonight somewhere out. She said she didn't like football but thanks for thinking of her. Now for me, if I like a woman, I will sit through 3 hours of Rosie O'Donnell reruns to hang with her. And I can't stand Rosie O'Donell! Then she texts "I just blew it, uh?". I didn't reply and haven't. But I was thinking, "yes u did". End of exchange figure she doesn't want to hang with me okey doke later. Then this morning she "favorites" me on the dating site we met on. Here we go with the games. I really liked her but this nonsense turns me off. Should I tell her or just let it go and move on? Why do people do this? I dunno, seems to me like you're the one playing games. She texts you and you don't reply simply because she doesn't like football. I get it, you wanted her to go. But she doesn't like football - Maybe she'd rather you do something else with you, instead of going to watch something that she finds extremely boring and being a downer the whole time. She texted you after that, and made you a "favorite" on the dating site - but you're the one ignoring her and you you still say that you really liked her - it really sounds like you're the one playing games here...
dasein Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 How many times have you hung out before friday? You need alittle more patience my friend, You hungout friday, and text her next day to hangout on Sunday? I understand if you had a good time with someone but you need to calm down and not rush things, especially asking her to watch football already?? Her texting you "i just blew it" is her feeling bad for turning it down becuase she prob wants to hangout with you just not watch football and you ignoring her is REALLY BLOWING IT shes not playing any games. She obviously doesnt like football. If she didnt like mexican food would you take her there anyway and make her order something off the menu? No, if you want to make it right hangout with her tonite and dont watch the game, go to like Dave and Busters, this way its a date, you play games and you can periodically watch the game. Agree with this, would shoot for one lowkey "get to know you" short, active date every week or so until you start to get to know each other. No contacts other than asking out on these simple dates. Good luck.
doushenka Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Yesterday evening I asked her if she wanted to go watch the football game tonight somewhere out. She said she didn't like football but thanks for thinking of her. Is it a loud environment, this "somewhere out"? I don't care for American football either, so the idea of spending upwards of three hours with someone I haven't gotten to know very well yet doing something that bores me to tears leaves me a little cold. She was being honest: she doesn't like football. That's not playing games. That's a legitimate reason not to go somewhere with you. Now, if it were me in her shoes, I would then have said, "...but would you maybe like to do X?" Drives home the point that I'm still interested in YOU, but not in the activity.
forms Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) I don't see her playing games either. She enjoyed your date and let you know it. No game there. She's being true to her feelings. You invited her to a football game and she declined and thanked you. Invitations aren't royal summons. She's being true to her feelings. You ignore her because had she wanted you to watch Rosie Donnell for 3 hours you would have. ?!?? Who says she likes Rosie? Who said she would have wanted you to do something for her you didn't enjoy? Why do you get an attitude about her not wanting to do something she doesn't enjoy? Is your logic that if she liked you enough she would do it? Thus since she didn't do something she doesn't like to do, she doesn't like you enough to favorite you on a dating site. Or she doesn't like you as much as you like her, therefore, she deserves to be punished? So you punish her by ignoring her. It's you playing games. You like her, but are trying to manipulate her into doing something she doesn't want to do by punishing her with ignoring her. She doesn't even know she's being punished. She doesn't know she's upset you. She doesn't know you have all these expectations of her. But you know and you are using passive aggressive methods to get your message accross to her. Who's playing games? Do you like her? Then don't ignore her. Are you so turned off by the fact she's not willing to do something that's not fun for her to prove her liking for you that you think she deserves to be punished? Then drop her; she can do better. Are you so freaked out by this 'evidence' that maybe you like her more than she likes you, or that she has a clearer sense of self than you do, that you are panicking and projecting your game playing on her? Then save yourself and her the agony and drama, and drop her. She went out with you, enjoyed it, let you know she enjoyed it, chose not to accept an invitation to something she didn't enjoy, thanked you for the invitation, and favorited you on the site letting you know she still likes you. Every step of the way she was true to herself and her feelings. You, on the other hand, liked her, let her know you liked her, invited her to something, got an attitude about the fact that she politely declined, assumed she should behave the way you would if you were in her position (having some boundary issues are we?), decided to punish her by ignoring her (something which she's probably unaware of / and not very attractive in a guy you've gone out with once), chose not to tell her how you feel (passive aggressiveness on your part), and then blamed her for playing games and have already decided if you break up it's her fault. You haven't been true to your feelings and are sending out cryptic invisible messages that you hope she will guess at the real meaning. That's game playing. Why not just accept it's okay that she doesn't want to watch football with you? How needy and clingy are you? If it does bother you so much, why not just say, "Hey, I'd watch Rosie ODonnell for you, can't you watch football for me?" Why ignore her, rather than resolve your problem with her in a mature manner? That's game playing too. You need to rethink your reactions here. Edited November 13, 2011 by forms
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