spinaroonie Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I don't have a good answer, but encountered this question from a two different women recently. Women seek monogamous relationships. They like to feel "trust" and committment before being comfortable and sexually intimate with a man. So after a couple weeks and a few dates, the woman raises the issue. At that point the man knows he will get in, and agrees to monogamy. Then he soon starts dating others. So the girl is screwed, literally. This seems like a tricky area to navigate. The woman finds an bold alpha guy. She wants to tame him into a monogamous beta. If she holds out on sex too long then the true alphas will leave. It seems unreasonable to expect the man to be faithful for very long before sex. So the question is, what can a woman do to encourage monogamy? And how can men get through those defenses? I think there is a definite tension, where a woman needs to screen guys and hold out long enough to eliminate most of the guys on this forum (4-6 dates), but not too long. Then she needs to satisfy the guy.
ScreamingTrees Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Does "beta" have to be synonymous with "monogamous"? Is that just how you personally feel? I don't think you're weak for choosing to be with someone over having a different partner every night.. People basically have the same male/female parts, do they not? I'd say purely physical sex with no mental stimulation has to be about the same regardless of what the girl looks like.. Looks probably help with mental stimulation, I guess, but still. Even if a lot of guys were able to be "alphas", they'd probably see through it all pretty quickly and get tired of it and look for more rather than hurt other people.
Duckduckgoose Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Or just tell the guy upfront you are looking for a relationship and want to get to know him WELL before you put out. Several months into it at least. That will weed out the "dickinsiders" (a Carhill term) rather quickly. It will probably reduce your dating pool substantially as well. But the guys that are left would be the ones that would consider monogamy seriously.
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