ricky2727 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 hi all . well just brefly my faince has been texting and face booking another bloke .( has,nt gone past this ) we have been together 19 years n 2 kids . i caught her red handed . ( she said it was just a bit of fun ) now we are ment to be working on our relationship problems . but i know they are still msg,ing each other ( i pay her bill so i get statements ) so do i ? 1: confront him ? - will be hard with out vialance ! then he will probly run to her n i will look like the bad guy. 2: let it go n just moniter the situation and hope it gets old real quick . 3: confront her again and it will end up in us fighting again witch will lead to me getting kicked out as he will look good as there is no conflict on his side of the fence . please help as i love this girl more then life it self yes i have told her. lost and confused ricky
whichwayisup Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 it will end up in us fighting again witch will lead to me getting kicked out No, no, no, you have it all wrong. You confront her and tell her that she has a choice to make. Either you and the kids or the other guy. She doesn't get to call the shots here, YOU do! If she doesn't like it, then she can leave and go be with the other guy. Alone. Meaning, you stay there with the kids. Don't let her control this situation. She is doing wrong and knows it. Confronting the other guy is pointless.
jnj express Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 You tell her it ends, and that means right now,---or she can take her belongings, and go live with him You have to be harsh about this---this is not a mr., nice--guy situation If left alone, or not handled, very strongly---this will not end, and her EA, will grow until it really does, wreck your relationship This MUST be stopped right now.
jnj express Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I guess I didn't answer your original post completely----You do not need to talk to the other guy at all---your beef is with your spouse, or whatever you call each other----she is your partner, she is the one betraying you!!!!!!!-----He means nothing in all of this---she is the one you live with!!!!!!
analystfromhell Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I was the husband and got "confronted" by the OM- HA! I would assume his confrontation would go about as well yours would. I just totally dismissed the guy as he will you. The issue, as others have said, is with your wife. This other guy is a sleaze, no question, but he's got no motivation to change and if he's the sort who starts up affairs with other women it's pretty unlikely bringing this to his attention will result in anything other than a smile and some self-satisfaction on his part. Talk with your wife, get into counseling; see how it goes and if you are both committed to the relationship. She is not likely to ever tell you the full story nor keep you up to date. If you're uncomfortable with this then you have a choice...
nofool4u Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 so do i ? 1: confront him ? - will be hard with out vialance ! then he will probly run to her n i will look like the bad guy. You can confront him if you want, anger towards an azzhole like this is justified. But your REAL problem is your fiance, who SHOULD be your x-fiance. And you would only look like the bad guy to your fiance. But who cares what a piece of crap cheater thinks? Negative opinions of you from people like her are actually compliments. 2: let it go n just moniter the situation and hope it gets old real quick No, you don't just let IT go, you let HER go. Get rid of her. You think this will get better if you marry her? Think again. Its not even 7 years and she already has the itch. 3: confront her again and it will end up in us fighting again witch will lead to me getting kicked out as he will look good as there is no conflict on his side of the fence . Yes, confront her then dump her. And why is it that YOU have to be kicked out? She is the piece of crap here. She should leave. She can't kick you out unless only her name is on a lease/mortgage. please help as i love this girl more then life it self yes i have told her. lost and confused ricky Why the hell would you love someone that could care less about you to mess around with other guys? You need to stop being so in love up to your eyeballs that you are willing to slobber all over her like a lapdog, and start getting angry and realize she is not worthy of your considerations and affection, much less of any ring you would have put on her finger. Let her hook up with this other guy. He is obviously of questionable character himself, and it would only be a matter of time before karma catches up with her.
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