mitsman23 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I'm new to this forum so hopefully I picked the right subject to post this under. If anybody has any advise it would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure what I should do after doing what I've done. Did I make a good decision or a bad one? Just recently I had to face making a decision that was tough for me to make. A decision in which I had to make that involved my emotions that I had felt because of the quality of a recent relationship was not what I had expected. Up until just recently I was very unhappy with how things were going between the two of us. But now also feel conflicted about the decision I had made as well. It started in July of 2011 we both had profiles on a singles website called plentyoffish. Plentyoffish is a website where singles can set up profiles and talk to other singles, and maybe even meet if they choose to. This is where I met a girl, that I would eventually meet in person and would become my girlfriend. During the early half of the summer she was one of a few girls on the site that I had sent messages to and we were still talking quite a bit and we seemed to both be interested in each other. We met in person in July. We started officially dating in July. Shortly after we started dating she was accepted to attend the law school that she was applying to. We spend a lot of time together before she went back to school. We were not seeing each other as much as before but we did see each other one or two times a week on the average. While we were still in our early phase of getting to know each other I made changes to my profile on the website so that others can see that I was not looking for anybody. About a month after making the changes I needed I asked Erica about hers because she had never changed it and was still receiving messages from other guys and talking to them online. So I asked her why she didn’t change it, and explained how I felt that it was both unfair to me and also the people on there that are actually single and looking to meet people. She told me that she just hasn’t yet, but will. She never changed it though. It was still really early for the two of us anyways so I just let the subject go for a while then brought it up again later. When I brought it up in conversation later she actually changed it to say she was not single. Within a few days making the change to her profile she went and changed it back to say she was single again. Even after changing it back to say she was single I still let it go for a little while and didn’t say anything about it. We lived a good distance from one another we talked a lot online through instant messenger, but over time our conversations became smaller and at times she would seem very unresponsive to talking to me which led me to feel that she was just very busy with school or talking to other people. I then mentioned it again she said that she would delete her profile. She never did delete her profile like she said she did. After the third time when I was told that she would delete her profile I made a generic profile because I could not trust her to tell me the truth. Under this new profile I had made I took a look to see if she was being honest. When I went on under this new generic account after I had deleted my original I found a new profile that she had put up. We went through the same thing all over again. Except this time I told her I did not want to date her anymore. This time was different though. I felt like I was being pushed away, betrayed, like she really didn’t care about the two of us being together, that she didn’t take things seriously. So I decided to mention it to her one last time and tell her I didn’t want to date her anymore because of it. In return she said she has always done something to push her boyfriend’s away in the past. She finally deleted her account from the website. But I held my decision to not date her.
AlexisMacabre Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 i think you made a good decision, this girl prolly loves a lot of attention from guys and thats why she maybe changed her profile back to single, dont worry about her anymore, move on and find a girl who will be happy to say shes in a relationship with you. good luck!
Author mitsman23 Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 thank you Alexis I hope I did make the right choice. I keep doubting myself even though a lot of my friends tell me that I'm better off. That's why I decided to ask on here. She wants to see me tomorrow. She's been begging for another chance.
TheFinalWord Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 thank you Alexis I hope I did make the right choice. I keep doubting myself even though a lot of my friends tell me that I'm better off. That's why I decided to ask on here. She wants to see me tomorrow. She's been begging for another chance. Yeah, it's hard to know in such a situation what is going on. I do think that if you guys are exclusive she needs to cut if off. The fact she lied multiple times would be a red flag for me. My store isn't exactly similar, but I met a girl through an on-line site. We were in a 6+ month relationship. During the relationship we talked about the site. She told me one guy contacted her about the same time I initially did and wrote her saying "can we talk in a few months I'm busy right now". She told me about it and blew it off like the guy didn't have a chance. Well, once we broke up she was dating him in 2 weeks. So, yeah, some girls like to have guys on the back burner. To me it's a type of cheating. I'm not saying our stories are the same, but to me those actions are kind of shady. Just be careful.
Author mitsman23 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Thank you TheFinalWord i did hear many excuses for it the whole time from I will do it later, to I was helping my cousin find girls on there, to the fact that she was not married (I guess this was her saying it was warranting her reason to keep it the way it was). Now since I broke up with her she has been begging me to reconsider us breaking up. :-( ??????
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