The dot Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 This is a serious question. Of course, I have made a point in the past to state how happy I am alone, but I just don't understand the whole "my ex dumped me and now I'm alone, what am I going to do now?" attitude. As much as I'm a cynic (and proud of it), I also happen to believe that the world is a place full of wonder and opportunity. There is so much out there for you that I can't even begin to describe it with this post. There are so many things for you to do, be they hobbies, travel, a career, charity work, dating other people or whatever. I think you should be glad if someone dumps you or rejects you, because it frees you up to pursue these opportunities and enrich your life. If someone dumps you, the best way to handle it is to shake their hand, thank them (sincerely), and move on with your life. Remember the possibilities for you are limitless.
wilsonx Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Please you are 34 years old and you have had your heart breaks I read your story you posted in March how your ex fiance went on his cheating spree with a neighbor. You are just now posting this 8 months later? Be serious. A lot of these people are going through their first breakups and first betrayal breakups that you went through 8 months ago. The second part of your thread is spot on... but to answer the first part ^^^^ Read above
Author The dot Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 Please you are 34 years old and you have had your heart breaks I read your story you posted in March how your ex fiance went on his cheating spree with a neighbor. You are just now posting this 8 months later? Be serious. I think you have your wires crossed somewhere. I have never posted about an ex-fiance, in fact, I've never been engaged to marry anyone. I'm also a straight guy, so no fiance or partner of mine would ever be referred to as a "he". I think you should re-read the posts in question and find out who really *DID* post that, it sure wasn't me, and I still stand by what I say in this thread.
RecordProducer Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Because we loved that person and we want them to love us back and be nice to us. Because we idealize the people we love and think we won't find better. Because we have formed something with them: home, friends, children, joint assets, habits, routines, traditions, history... Because we've been through a lot with them and it's hard to break that bond and move onto the next stranger. Because we had fun together and we'll miss them. Because we have this thing that's thankfully invisible or otherwise it'd take up all the space in the world: ego.
wilsonx Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 My bad man, doing 15 things at once and wasn't paying attention. I did have my **** crossed. I take it back People's first heartbreaks are rough. Being betrayed is rough. I agree with what you said in your post though after the question
nature Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 The Dot...I think that what you are saying is a lovely thought, but easier said than done. Yes, we all know there is a big wide world out there to explore and discover. That is a wonderful thing. However, some of these people invested their heart and soul into a life with someone. Into sharing that big wide world with them. Some of these people have kids with someone. That has got to hurt. It's not so easy to just say, "ok thanks for screwing me over, take care and me and the kids will be just fine". Sometimes that does work, but often times it is a struggle and difficult for people. Both financially and emotionally. Some of these people don't have the option to just explore everything. Yes goign for walks, picnics, etc doesn't cost money. But alot of the things in this world to explore do cost money. Let's be real. Sometimes when you've really loved someoen its hard to say good bye so easy when your trust has been betrayed. I'm wondering if you've never really loved someone? Because it can feel like your heart has been yanked from your chest. Along with everything else. Anyhow, to each their own and your opinion is very valid!
Sugarkane Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 You want to know why The Dot? Because you loved them and once they felt the same as you. Because you love them and they change and move on, long before the dumpee does. Then the dumper usually always has someone se lined up. You're still in love with them and they go and date someone else. Don't you understand this?
Author The dot Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 You want to know why The Dot? Because you loved them and once they felt the same as you. Because you love them and they change and move on, long before the dumpee does. Then the dumper usually always has someone se lined up. You're still in love with them and they go and date someone else. Don't you understand this? I understand perfectly, but as I said in another thread, if someone cheats on you or treats you badly, you should be glad to be rid of them. Now they can go and cheat on or mistreat someone else, and now you have all that the world has to offer at your fingertips.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I understand perfectly, but as I said in another thread, if someone cheats on you or treats you badly, you should be glad to be rid of them. Now they can go and cheat on or mistreat someone else, and now you have all that the world has to offer at your fingertips. Mentally you can do this, but the heart doesn't make the wisest decisions. Just because you decide in your head that they are not right for you doesn't immediately detach you from that person emotionally. If you fail to make this connection at even the slightest point I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist or at least a doctor... My uncle's friend has some disorder that prevents him from feeling certain emotions, including love. He is married with 3 children .
RecordProducer Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 My uncle's friend has some disorder that prevents him from feeling certain emotions, including love. He is married with 3 children .There's a medical name for this disorder... I'll find it and get back to you.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Found it! It's called "As*hole." yeah pretty much covers it, but I'm serious.
Buttercup84 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I understand , and I do see that the world is great and exciting but I loved him and he loved me once too . You are so used to that person and expected to have them in your future . It is just having to adapt to new things and getting used to being alone . Before I met my ex I was happy being single and independent so now I have to get used to it again . I am 27 and he was my first love .
Buttercup84 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 yeah pretty much covers it, but I'm serious. My first aid teacher told me about this , he had a girl in his class who couldn't feel happiness , sadness , love or anger .
RecordProducer Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 My first aid teacher told me about this , he had a girl in his class who couldn't feel happiness , sadness , love or anger .And as a first aid teacher, he had the opportunity to see her feel happiness, sadness, love and anger... but she didn't? Like, (1) she didn't feel happiness when he showed her his peepee; (2) she didn't feel sadness when he put it back in his pants; (3) she didn't feel love when he told her "this monster can be yours"; (4) she didn't feel anger when he told her "OK, it'll never be yours!"
Buttercup84 Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 And as a first aid teacher, he had the opportunity to see her feel happiness, sadness, love and anger... but she didn't? Like, (1) she didn't feel happiness when he showed her his peepee; (2) she didn't feel sadness when he put it back in his pants; (3) she didn't feel love when he told her "this monster can be yours"; (4) she didn't feel anger when he told her "OK, it'll never be yours!" Haha , but no it is a real mental disorder . There are *******s but people who do have an illness .
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