ladyravenloft Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 When people speak of NC, I know it means not contacting your ex, but does it mean completely blocking them from all means of contacting you? To keep it brief, I was dumped after two years after my ex told me he loved me, disappeared for a week and a half, resurfaced long enough to tell me he needed time to think but still loved me (we were in a LDR and he wasn't sure how he would handle waiting for me to finish university), then just a couple of hours after he said he needed time someone claiming to be his gf (didn't know he had one) popped on his skype and let me know they were sleeping together, then logged off. Not heard a word since from him. I stupidly sent him a couple of emails, one letting him know how bad he hurt me, and the other offering an olive branch, since I actually wasn't upset he found someone localy; I was more upset he didn't tell me about her and about his disappearing act. After not hearing from him the last couple of weeks I blocked him from all forms of contact. Part of me wants to give him a chance to explain himself, the other feels he should get to know how it feels to be ignored if he ever does bother to contact me. Any thoughts?
lymtal1 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 lady, know how you are feeling. yes you are correct. the best way for you to achieve your goal is to do everything you can to not hear from the ex or the mutual friends and or family that might exist between the two you. that means any and all social media. phone, mail, carrier pigeons etc. now here is the kicker. no contact is not for you to make them feel anything. it is 100% for you to be able to heal from the pain that they cause you when you have any contact with them. this is key, not about them. all about you. there is a post out here that defines no contct that you should read if you have not. do a search and apply the info there, it will help you very much. let him go and work on you. good luck.
The dot Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 When people speak of NC, I know it means not contacting your ex, but does it mean completely blocking them from all means of contacting you? Yes, it does. Going NC is a means of getting over your ex and moving on with your life. If you're leaving the door open in the hope they'll contact you, it pretty much defeats the whole purpose. To keep it brief, I was dumped after two years after my ex told me he loved me, disappeared for a week and a half, resurfaced long enough to tell me he needed time to think but still loved me (we were in a LDR and he wasn't sure how he would handle waiting for me to finish university), then just a couple of hours after he said he needed time someone claiming to be his gf (didn't know he had one) popped on his skype and let me know they were sleeping together, then logged off. Not heard a word since from him. Long distance relationships are usually just long-distance cheating, and it doesn't take too much imagination to see that's what's happening here. You're better off letting a cheater go and cheat on someone else, and moving on with your life. Besides, at your age, why do you need a serious relationship anyway? You should just be dating guys casually and having fun. In your early 20s you should be doing all the things you won't be able to do when you're 35 and married, and getting them all out of your system. Just relax and have some fun.
Rorschach64 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 How I run my NC is my ex can email me. That's it. Granted it totally defeats the NC thing but not like she has spoken to me in 5 months so I am good to go anyway, it was a LDR so yeah. Up to you on this one, I am sure the guy could have made a seperate email account to get ahold of you, I don't think it is that hard if he really wanted to be heard.
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