Sadpuppy Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I have been in past relationship but none of them is like this one that past. It seems like it could only appear on tv and made me feel like its really meant to be. God made a bitter sweet story. I first meet him through my brother. He was my brothers boss and I just happened to go with my brother to pick up his paycheck. My brother doesn't like him much and told me to go out with him and then break his heart. He was joking and I didn't think much of it. A few months later, I started to work at the same company as my brother but at another location. I saw him again as he was visiting my boss and again and again. He tells another worker that he thinks I'm attractive and some attraction began. We both get red sometimes. A few weeks later, bad news came that he was transferring to this location. I get to see him but I know we can't be together because of company policy. He cares about his job so much and he would be my boss. Still for some reason he asked me out and we started secretly dating. He's gone to another location about a year ago and we continue dating for another 11 months. He just broke up with me yesterday. I feel like crap. It seems so meant to be but it's now gone! We went through a lot. We had to experience a miscarriage together and many ups and downs. He broke up with me because he feels I deserve better and he's not treating me good. He's a stubborn guy so I know when he says it's over- its over! There's nothing I can do.
Author Sadpuppy Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 What does it mean when he was so firm saying its over and called me the next day saying he's confused? Misses me? Wanted to hear my voice etc? He didn't say he wants to get back and regrets the decision. I don't want to get my hopes up but... It's so hard
Rorschach64 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I am sure you tried everything you could have done in your capacity to salvage the relationship right? I will assume so, well what you do since he is confused I would do LC. Meaning you don't contact him ever and you let him come to you, don't bring up the relationship, don't bring up what you want as I am again assuming you made it clear what you want, play it cool, play it loose, and you don't always respond to him and occasionally add delay in responses. Most importantly don't sell yourself. That's my advice unless you don't want him back then you just go cold straight NC.
Author Sadpuppy Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 We had a trip planned for the end of the month. Yesterday he said straight up "no I can't" saying we can't go to this trip as a couple. Today he told me that he is happiest with me when we are out of the city so people won't see us together. He's more affectionate and appreciate me more. So then I asked does that mean you do want to go on the trip with me? He said he doesn't know. He's still confused and give him some time? I told him to take all the time he needs . My problem is that if we go, I will have to request it off beforehand. It leaves me sorta hanging
Rorschach64 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Well to me that seems like he is confused or playing some f**k f**k games. To be honest, yeah do what I suggested because all you will do is strangle yourself with grief and confusion as to what is going on. With distancing yourself through LC you start moving on and he will actually start to feel the loss of you which MIGHT bring him back to you or it might not but you still are starting the healing process.
Author Sadpuppy Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 We went out to dinner last night and he said he wants to go Vegas with me. I'm scared to ask if we're back together. He still calls me baby and things seems normal again. But this morning when he was going to work, I got up too. He "gave" me back the keys and said just continue sleeping and give him back the keys next time. I'm confused again! Does he want me back?
Rorschach64 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Well puppy, let's be honest here, you want him back and him doing these f*ck f*ck games STILL continues to drive you nuts with grief and confusion. Hell, one might say that you will end up resenting him for it in the end. What I am getting at is tell him what you want and you are tired of these half assed meetings/hang outs/town hall meetings, or whatever you want to call it. Yes it will put pressure on him but if he really wants you back and not a relationship of convience, because that's what it seems like right now, he will commit to you. Take a stand for yourself, your needs, your wants, and your heart. If you are taken back then yay, you win and if he doesn't take you back then yay you still win because you've gotten an answer and you are out of limbo.
Author Sadpuppy Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 So we started talking again. I see him every other day. He still calls me baby and didn't tell anyone we broke up for a while. He never officially said anything to me about wanting to get back. I know he feels bad that he hurt me last week. Sometimes I can't help myself but to think that he would suddenly tell me he can't be with me again. When I asked if that day will come, he just tells me to relax and enjoy myself. He does tell me things like he miss me, care about me and want to see me etc. He seem to forget that we broke up last week. Do I need to wait for him to make things official or does it imply that we're still together? Should i forget what he said to me last week?
ChelseaLS Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Oh Sadpuppy, it sounds like he is stringing you along. Next time he calls you baby, tell him that names of endearment are reserved for partners. Stand up for yourself, let him know that if he doesn't want to be in a relationship, he cannot be with you. I know it's incredibly hard to do, but show him that you respect yourself and he needs too as well. I am so sorry for the head games he is playing and for your pain.
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