Struggling men: play the game or play the woman?

[Negative Nancy]

i don't know women like that, and neither do you seem to know men that are like the ones in my examples. that is all nice and good, but alot of men cannot be trusted. i'm on another forum that is mainly for women and so many women post about their shocking wake-up call after 20 years of marriage when the man all of a sudden decides that she's not young enough anymore or that he couldn't resist the young co-worker or secretary. i don't wanna end up like that, so going thru life with eyes and ears open is better than living in blind faith and trust.

[Eclypse]

I asked my gf her opinion and she said she probably wouldn't have dated me if i was short. She said it would just feel weird and not right. It's harsh I guess but I wouldn't have dated her either if she was overweight so everyone is shallow I suppose.

 

Unfortunately this is bad news for overweight women and short men, but that just means you'll have to look a bit harder because there will always be people attracted to you

[jobaba]

I asked my gf her opinion and she said she probably wouldn't have dated me if i was short. She said it would just feel weird and not right. It's harsh I guess but I wouldn't have dated her either if she was overweight so everyone is shallow I suppose.

 

Unfortunately this is bad news for overweight women and short men, but that just means you'll have to look a bit harder because there will always be people attracted to you

 

Or we'll just go mateless and die off eventually. Either way...

 

[Cracker Jack]

I used to get frustrated hearing the whole "short men are the equivalent of obese women in the dating world" stuff, but now it doesn't bother me anymore. It's just dumb and not worth thinking about.

Edited November 13, 2011 by Cracker Jack

[somedude81]

and why are the obese women not good enough for YOU? sounds hypocritical to me. in other words, you can have your standards by not finding fatties attractive, but god forbid women have their own standards or what?

Seriously?

 

As I said before, almost all men prefer healthy weight women. Women who are obese are not a healthy weight.

 

Again, I think it's disgusting that a man's height is comparable to a woman's weight in attractiveness.

really?

 

we might as well turn your question around and ask you - with regards to your very own hang-ups about your height -: how come every man isn't 5"6?

Wow, that's retarded.

 

First of all, why would any man want to be 5'6?

 

Next, you might not be aware, but people don't get to choose how tall they grow. Shocking right?

 

 

 

just as every man can't be 6 feet tall, not every woman can be super fit and slim...and some have genetic dispositions or diseases that make them obese - just like your genetics make you 5"6

I'm pretty certain that the vast majority of obese women are not that way because of genetic dispositions or diseases.

 

In almost all cases and it's down to diet and exercise.

 

suck it up....millions of women go thru painful cosmetic surgery and procedure just to please men...you ask about their pains? nope...instead you're hypocritically judging fat women but then you complain when it's YOU being judged about your height?

Bull sh*t.

 

The women go through cosmetic surgery for themselves.

 

In most cases men think the results are laughable. The only exception are reconstructive stuff

 

BTW, would you ever be in a relationship with a short or obese man? From you avatar I can get a pretty good idea of what your type is.

somedude81, take a moment and reflect that you are not that short first of all. There are many, many men shorter than you. Also, there are many, many women shorter than you.

 

So don't beat yourself up so much on that. I think its translating into bitterness for women.

I know that I'm not that short. But it still doesn't matter. I have never dated in my life and I'm 30 years old. Every girl I've been interested in, most of them average looking, have rejected me. None of them have told me it's because I'm not tall, but how do I know for certain that it wasn't a reason. We all know that physical attraction is necessary. And for reasons I have no idea, a man who is a few inches shorter than average, isn't attractive.

 

Regarding bigger women, at least treat them with the same respect as you would for a sister or mother who was obese.

Nobody in my family is obese.

 

Either way, I treat everybody the same no matter how they look.

 

That doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly believe that obese women are a catch.

 

Sure, there is likely a choice to lose some weight if a guy or girl is 500+ pounds. But sometimes its psychological too. Its not that they don't want to lose weight, maybe there are some psychological barriers.

 

Have some level of empathy.

Empathy for what?

 

Almost anybody can lose weight and maintain a healthy weight if they wanted to.

Also, the whole point it seems is that you want to SLEEP with women. Personally, I don't sleep with a woman unless I really care about her, and usually only if I love her.

 

So I'm wondering if you want a REAL relationship. Sure there are girls that just want to sleep around. Do you really want that kind of girl?

 

Rethink some things. You'll find there are many ways to give and receive love.

I want a girlfriend. I've been single for far too long.

To me it's not the same. Obesity is something you can control and it reflects your life style. Some men are just born shorter than others, it doesn't mean they don't take care of themselves or aren't fit. My H is 6' but I'd love him just the same if he was 5'6.

Yay, somebody with a working brain!

[kaleidoscope]

No need for any name calling.

 

Just be the best person you can be in your life.

 

Christopher Reeve was a handsome, tall man at one point. He had an accident on a horse and was confined to a wheelchair.

 

He still kept his dignity till the end. I even read his auto-biography.

 

Nothing wrong with trying to look your best but don't define who you are by your looks, whether you're a guy or girl.

[Woggle]

i don't know women like that, and neither do you seem to know men that are like the ones in my examples. that is all nice and good, but alot of men cannot be trusted. i'm on another forum that is mainly for women and so many women post about their shocking wake-up call after 20 years of marriage when the man all of a sudden decides that she's not young enough anymore or that he couldn't resist the young co-worker or secretary. i don't wanna end up like that, so going thru life with eyes and ears open is better than living in blind faith and trust.

 

Just look at this board on the divorce forum where you see countless men who thought they had a good marriage only to have their wife meet some jerk on facebook and all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden she fell out of love with him and rewrites the history of the marriage. She sees a level of coldness and cruelty from her he didn't see possible and it's like she is a completely different person. I don't want that to happen to me.

[jobaba]

No need for any name calling.

 

Just be the best person you can be in your life.

 

Christopher Reeve was a handsome, tall man at one point. He had an accident on a horse and was confined to a wheelchair.

 

He still kept his dignity till the end. I even read his auto-biography.

 

Nothing wrong with trying to look your best but don't define who you are by your looks, whether you're a guy or girl.

 

Interestingly enough, I was venting to my parents about how it was hard for me to meet women because I'm not traditionally attractive and my father gave me that story.

 

That was 1995. Wow, a long time ago.

 

At least I've had some women since then.

 

People tend to focus on their own problems: attracting the opposite sex, family, money, health. Some poor folks have all of those problems and are able to keep their head up high.

 

Usually people who have had it tough before remember where they came from. I've had it tough in the dating game, so I'll give everybody a chance despite looks, economics, or prior hardships. I'm not a guy who has nothing to offer. I'm well educated and have some money in my family.

 

It's kind of depressing to see such a dog eat dog, get the best I can and screw those below me attitude prevailing in this society...

[thatone]

but it is also a fact that many men try to egg on their male friends when out in the club, "look, that hottie over there smiled at you, go for it". men cover up so much b******t for their friends, I've experienced it first hand.

 

and women having slutty mothers/sisters/female friends is typically the very first red flag. i don't see your point.

[joystickd]

probably cos the men settled, but if they had a chance to be with their physical ideal, they would get it on with her in a heartbeat. many men cheat or bang hookers on the side.

 

I get so sick of this men cheat thing. Both sides cheat i think its more men get caught so its neck and neck with cheating

[nofool4u]

I get so sick of this men cheat thing. Both sides cheat i think its more men get caught so its neck and neck with cheating

 

As long as you get to bed down other men's wives, what do you care what the stats are?

[kaleidoscope]

Mircea, I just want to say that just because someone is horribly insecure, doesn't mean they should be looked down on.

 

That's like beating someone while they are down.

 

Everyone can easily say "get some self-confidence" but some people have been put down, hurt in many different ways over years.

 

Its great if he/she can address insecurity issues but...

 

If a woman feels insecure about her nose, skin, etc, I don't see anything wrong with some sort of an aesthetic correction. And there is nothing wrong if they don't have it.

 

I guess there is always a range...nobody wants to look like they HAD cosmetic surgery but there is no point beating someone up because they were trying to improve themselves.

 

From my perspective they are just trying to be the best they can be. Nobody should fault that.

 

If anything, people who have cosmetic surgery should be more caring and understanding of imperfections. I'm sure some women/men are still shallow even after 'perfecting' themselves but I'm sure many realize that those physical attributes are NOT who they really are.

[AD1980]

neither is shortness in men.

 

 

 

 

Women dont like fat and obese man either so i guess throw in that height is much more important to women then men which means women have stricter standards for attractiviness then Men

[Elysian Powder]

No matter how much people debate and try to add lucidity or amorousness to it; sex, dating, attraction and relationships are all based on something that one person wants and the other has.

 

Without that one physical(or emotional) characteristic that the man has to have(height, muscles, beautiful facial features, intelligent etc) to cause attraction in a woman, he's going to be left alone on a Saturday's night either playing world of warcraft or watching porn.

 

What's the proper attitude to have if a man who is struggling with women wants sex?

 

Improve yourself. eradicate what's in you that limits your dating options/doesn't permit you to draw any attention from the female population, at all.

 

Maybe the guy is 6'2'' but doesn't know how to carry himself. Go watch from movies made by Carey Grant, Rock Hudson, or Marlon Brando. emulate the stride these guys use to walk, and to command respect. Study the body language they project to the screen. Realize that the body language their bodies is broadcasting varies depending on the people these actors were in a scene with.

 

They don't exactly act and let their muscles have a life of their own - in the manner of an Alpha Male signaling interest to a woman - when they're with their fictitious brothers, now do they?

 

Are you not that tall? Doesn't matter. Fashion and style is a major tool for the men who weren't genetically blessed and it goes a LONG way to make a reasonably-looking man portray an image that can be attractive for a woman to give you the time of the day. There is no need for the action of emptying one's banking account to buy clothes that are fashionable and flags of high social status.

 

Create a budget and contact one of your metro-sexual friends, hand him the budget and a generic idea of what you think is capable of looking good on you; he'll transform your list, decry your decisions, and you'll acquire a wardrobe that will be your key for a fulfilling sexual life.

 

You don't have a metro-sexual friend? I'm certain you have at least one woman in your life as a friend - ask for the cooperation of a sister or a cousin if the case is, of you not possessing a lady friend.

 

Are you skinny? Obese? Such body builds are no longer an obstacle.

 

Are you familiar with the p90x machine?

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P90X

 

That device burns your fat and tones you up to the point of looking like a statuesque good-looking man;

 

For the skinny guys, all you have to do is google the actor you want to look like, use google again(after you find out what's his build) to discover the work-out program and schedule that were used to look like that.

 

After 6 months or so, you'll be the proud owner of a flesh frame good enough for most women, but do carry on with your physical improvements if you want more and if you think you got more inside of you.

 

Mentioned lastly, we encounter that great advancer known as 'game'.

 

I'm not going to deny anything about it; bridges are crossed whenever ''game'' is masterfully applied and you allow it time to expand from the location(targeted woman) for a much amplified effect. Meaning, a really good PUA can charm an entire group of hot women. Although very rarely have I witnessed such an event.

 

You have no necessity for game to seduce a woman for one-night stands or to enthrall her in a cloud of enormous physical desire which will inevitably lead to a FWB(fck friend). Unless you're looking to land a 10, any woman below the 8 mark - if you have taken the time and effort to look good - is viable.

 

The problem with ''game'' is that ''game'' alone isn't enough leverage to increase a 10's interest in you, at least high enough for her to put out. You have to be at least a 9; a great quantity of money, charisma, social proof(approval from other women) and man, believe me; you can be easily forgotten by these divine creatures if an average man - but filthy rich - comes along.

 

All of your looks, ''game'', fame, and body are demoted from their previous high standing, to leave you with blue balls. Concentrate on women from 6 to 9, but abandon the thoughts you've had laid on the 10 because not even the most of good-looking men are able of having them if they're lacking fame, power, money, or an extremely high social value.

 

Some people are, undoubtedly, trying to have you retreat from any desire of adapting to your surroundings in order to successfully net sex. Don't listen to them. They're individuals from different cultures or they're used to interacting with those who are far away from the norm. Sadly, you and most men can't conform to their ideals for we're young, and we want sex now; not when these females reach their 30's and are suddenly interested in developing an emotional bond from her, you, and the universe as to forget that when they were 20 years old the bathrooms of those nightclubs were the locales of free bjs flying around .

 

Others will try to convince you to be yourself and let nature take it's course.

 

Well, nature doesn't give a fck about you nor does most people so if you don't want to waste your 20s(or 30's) wanking or chasing women only to feed their narcissism and for you to be left with blue balls; do what is needed.

 

I admit that being tall gives me an advantageous over most men, but if I didn't bother to sculpt my body, and to dress and to talk to that level that you must reach for women to feel a tingle for you; I'd be one more of the guys who are marriage material, but not ''abusive'', or ''immature'', or ''not going places'' enough, for the women who are using their youth and their looks to have fun, grow-up as soon as the Alpha males aren't interested anymore.

 

Good luck, bro.

Edited November 15, 2011 by Elysian Powder

[jobaba]

 

Others will try to convince you to be yourself and let nature take it's course.

 

Well, nature doesn't give a fck about you nor does most people so if you don't want to waste your 20s(or 30's) wanking or chasing women only to feed their narcissism and for you to be left with blue balls; do what is needed.

 

 

I couldn't figure out if you were a real poster or a spammer at first.

 

Well, in regards to the OP question, my honest answer is that it is best to do both. Work on yourself, your looks, your body, your clothes, your life 'success'. It is rare that I find somebody who doesn't care about these things too much, but it has happened.

 

My ultimate goal is to be somebody who has all of the things above, but does not care about any of it in a person of the opposite sex.

 

Strange ... but nevertheless a goal.

 

Meanwhile, hopefully a mixture of 'playing the game' and looking for women who 'don't play the game' nets me some good results.

[joystickd]

As long as you get to bed down other men's wives, what do you care what the stats are?

 

I did that only twice in my life. The thing is no matter what I do the gender that does it more is insignificant. I don't go out chasing married women they come to me. I took those two times as learning experiences because those women had issues with their husband but won't mature enough to deal with thing so they pursued me as a kind of diversion from whatever it was going on. That is why now if I'm in a relationship and she has issues and she won't talk I will show her the door and tell her to get on like she got sh*t on.

[joystickd]

I only do single women and women with boyfriends. If the opportunity arises I will capitalize. You should appreciate my honesty and willingness to be forthcoming. My motto is you can't take something that's willing.

[nofool4u]

I only do single women and women with boyfriends. If the opportunity arises I will capitalize. .

 

One of these days you are going to mess with the wrong man's woman.

 

Would be nice to have a ringside seat to that one.

[joystickd]

One of these days you are going to mess with the wrong man's woman.

 

Would be nice to have a ringside seat to that one.

 

Lol! I understand there are consequences to what I do. That guy should be mad at her and not me because those women come to me. I don't chase I get chased.

[kaleidoscope]

joystickd, it takes two to tango. Just say no.

[kaleidoscope]

"If the opportunity arises I will capitalize.".

 

Disgusting...no love there.

[kaleidoscope]

"My motto is you can't take something that's willing."

 

Yes you can. If a woman is vulnerable, maybe confused, should a guy take advantage of the situation?

 

How about helping her through and being a real friend. Redirect her.

 

It will be payback time one day for people who think like this.

[joystickd]

I'm not looking for love right now. I just do what I do.

[kaleidoscope]

I meant "no love" figuratively. Even if I were after women just for sex at least I'd have a heart to care at least enough to take care of a few things. Like if she's single, contraceptives, etc.

 

Just minor things like that.

[joystickd]

"My motto is you can't take something that's willing."

 

Yes you can. If a woman is vulnerable, maybe confused, should a guy take advantage of the situation?

 

How about helping her through and being a real friend. Redirect her.

 

It will be payback time one day for people who think like this.

 

These women are not vulnerable. All they have to do is deal with their issues instead of running to me. After they are with me the problems are still there. The thing is they are not woman enough to deal with them or even just leave if its that bad.