starr5 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Given a guy is not gay, do guys approach and introduce themselves to girls without having any sort of interest in them whatsoever? I was at a social event after church a few weekends ago, and I was talking to two of my guy friends (both I've known for long time)...My two guy friends walked away and then a completely new guy I've never seen/met before came up to me, smiled and asked me my name and also introduced himself. Was that just a friendly gesture or was he interested at all in any way? We talked for a good 15-20 minutes. I thought he was cute and I asked him if he was on facebook in a kind of flirtatious manner and he smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm on that...", I added him and we became facebook friends later that night...Do I have reason to believe that he is just being friendly and not interested all? I'm interested....or I wouldn't be wondering this He left after he talked to me and didn't really mingle with others. Coincidentally, it turns out he works with one of my other guy friends in the same office...small world. I'd appreciate any advice
Mrlonelyone Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 yes. Men talk to women in a friendly platonic way everyday.
razz90 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 some guy started talking to me on the train and got my number, added me on facebook and even went to the club i was going to on my birthday on his break to wish me happy birthday and tell me he owed me a drink. Turns out he was married with a baby on the way and was just looking to make a friend! take that as u wish, but maybe some guys do simply want a friend when they talk to a girl.
D87 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Stupid question. Why wouldn't they? How do men and women become friends then lol
Leigh 87 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I agree - guys must do this all the time!!!!!!!!!! It is good to hear it, as otherwise, many women, myself included, would ALWAYS wonder if the reason guys talked to them, was to get something more out of it.... HOwever..... the more a NON single person, interacts this way with the opposite sex... the more likely it is that they could fall for another person. There are many potential people for which u could develope strong feelings towards - it is just a matter of meeting them. If a guy is open to becoming close friends, or even just mates, with an attractive girl; if he is to see her more than twice a week, then it could very easily open up feelings he has towards her. I say: act this way, if your taken, at your own risk. I would not go as far as to get a guys number while I am still seeeing this guy, UNLESS he was exceptionally cool!!! ( as in, awsome enough to be mates with both my and my partner). Otherwise, when in a relationship, I do not think it is appropriate to get girls numbers, unless it is for networking.work connections, or if the girl is REALLY REALLY amazing, and the guy feels his girlfriend would also like her.
ErgoStep Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 a completely new guy I've never seen/met before came up to me, smiled and asked me my name and also introduced himself. Was that just a friendly gesture or was he interested at all in any way? We talked for a good 15-20 minutes. I thought he was cute and I asked him if he was on facebook in a kind of flirtatious manner and he smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm on that...", I added him and we became facebook friends later that night...Do I have reason to believe that he is just being friendly and not interested all? I'm interested....or I wouldn't be wondering this That's a long conversation. The situation sounds very good to me. You've indicated interest to him. Keep the friendship alive, along with bits of flirting. Little sprinkles of sugar. If he flirts back, awesome. It's vaguely possible that he isn't interested, in which case he'll just start avoiding you. If he doesn't want sugar.
Author starr5 Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) Well, I ran into him again last week, we talked again and before he left he mentioned: "well, I won't see you next week since I'm out of town, but I'll see you the follow week, okay?" I quickly replied, "Yeah, we'll hang out sometime." I got nervous, but he looked straight at me and just quietly nodded. I just really like that he's not self-centered in our conversations. There are so many guys I've talked to that just continue on and on about themselves. There's an imbalance in conversations with those guys that are self absorbed. His first question is always: "How are *you* doing?" Of course he shares stuff about himself too, but he doesn't dominate. Edited November 13, 2011 by starr5
Andy_K Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Ask yourself this: How many unattractive middle aged women do you think this guy has exchanged numbers with and added to his facebook? Whether his intentions are friendship or something else, it's about 98% certain he finds you attractive either way.
counterman Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Yes, guys do approach girls on a purely friendly motive. However, I only do it when we're at an events or amongst friends of friends... which some girls have mistaken as me being interested in more. If it's a random approach, it's usually because I find her attractive and wanted to talk to her. Doesn't matter if you know his interested or not. All that matters is that you know that you're interested, so you can do something about it. Keep being flirty and, when you hang out, smile and have loads of fun.
Author starr5 Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 Ask yourself this: How many unattractive middle aged women do you think this guy has exchanged numbers with and added to his facebook? Whether his intentions are friendship or something else, it's about 98% certain he finds you attractive either way. Thanks for the input But unfortunately, I don't have his number at this time...haha. We're also both in our mid-20's
theconz Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Most of the time no. If a guy initiates a conversation with a women he has never met it usually means he is interested in more than whatever topic he brought up. Now if the woman is giving away free food, booze or tickets to a sporting event then maybe. But normally if he chats you up out of the blue he is attracted to you.
ErgoStep Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I might add. From the way you phrased the original post, it sounds like you have religious preconceptions about dating. At your age it is appropriate to pursue guys, and enjoy their pursuit of yourself. Phone is great for talking more, and one-on-one dating builds the emotional bond. Expect dinner, holding hands, kissing, intimate walks, and cuddling. All of that fits with the teachings of your religion. It's normal to have sex after a while. If you insist on marriage before sex, on the open market that's a little strange. But maybe acceptable. Rewinding to the current situation. It's simple, easy, and gradually builds. I'm hopeful for a good experience. And I would make a conscious decision to be more active as a woman, looking for men, with romantic intentions.
Author starr5 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Well, I kind of took your guys' advice...Saw him today and asked him, "Hey you want to get coffee sometime?...." He smiled and said, "Yeah, let's do it...we're facebook friends....how about we figure out a time over facebook this week to do it."
the wizard Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Not really, I bet if you were ugly or old he wouldn't want to be your "friend."
Fondue Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I approach new women I never met before for purely platonic purposes, but that's not to say that MOST of the time I approach a woman is because I'd like to insert my penis into her. Honest truth.
Casablanca Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Not really...sometimes a conversation will happen if just sitting somewhere and of course if we have a mutual friend or interest like a coworker, but at like a bar or party or a get together like you described, I'm totally looking to test the waters and try for a number.
Jono85 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 random convos? fine. but IMO, a guy wanting to hang-out with a girl or start talking to her a lot is actually interested in that girl. i can't speak for everyone, but i've never been interested in hanging out with a new girl (ie. one that i'm not already friends with b/c of school/work etc) or even an old girl come to think of it, one on one, for just strictly platonic reasons.
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