Sarabina Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 The slightly pathetic story of my life goes as follows: I am 20 years old (a girl) and I have liked a grand total of three guys in my life Crush 1: when I was 10 and it lasted for 2 weeks Crush 2: In 2004 and it lasted for 1 year Crush 3: In 2007 and it lasted for 1 year I have never had a boyfriend and I rarely have crushes on guys (and never on girls, trust me I'm not a lesbian) Is this normal? What's wrong with me? Am I doomed to die alone! (I don't even like cats or pretty much any other pets, so I'll be worse off than the cat lady)
norajane Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Perhaps you are not in an environment where you feel like the people around you are a good fit for who you are and what you enjoy in life. Crushes and infatuations are about admiring people and some of their qualities and characteristics. Maybe you just don't find much to admire in the people around you. I've lived in places like that, with the same result. Hard to find people attractive if their personalities and selves don't mesh with who you are.
O'Malley Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Location, as Norajane mentioned, can sometimes play a role. I grew up in a very rural, very conservative and insular community, with the result that I didn't date or have the slightest inclination to seek out one particular person until I was in my early twenties and moved from there. Twenty is when you're still trying to determine what you want out of life, so it's normal to feel uncertain and that you're somehow behind your peers. You've had crushes, it may be that you just haven't met someone who truly stands out for you in a significant way. Did you ever interact with these guys that you liked?
OneFootOut Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 The slightly pathetic story of my life goes as follows: I am 20 years old (a girl) and I have liked a grand total of three guys in my life Crush 1: when I was 10 and it lasted for 2 weeks Crush 2: In 2004 and it lasted for 1 year Crush 3: In 2007 and it lasted for 1 year I have never had a boyfriend and I rarely have crushes on guys (and never on girls, trust me I'm not a lesbian) Is this normal? What's wrong with me? Am I doomed to die alone! (I don't even like cats or pretty much any other pets, so I'll be worse off than the cat lady) You are 20 years old for goodness sake. You have plenty of time to figure out who and what you might be attracted to. Now if you feel the need to post this again when you are say approaching 40, you might be having a little problem
Eddie Edirol Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 What is your criteria for the guy you want? what would set your heart on fire? What was the guy like that you had your last crush on?
Author Sarabina Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Thanks to everyone that has replied so far Perhaps you are not in an environment where you feel like the people around you are a good fit for who you are and what you enjoy in life. Crushes and infatuations are about admiring people and some of their qualities and characteristics. Maybe you just don't find much to admire in the people around you. I've lived in places like that, with the same result. Hard to find people attractive if their personalities and selves don't mesh with who you are. I think your analysis is spot on. I am surrounded by people who have wildly different beliefs and values than me. The problem is I don't know how to meet like minded people, I have tried joining clubs at school but it has not worked out so far. Location, as Norajane mentioned, can sometimes play a role. I grew up in a very rural, very conservative and insular community, with the result that I didn't date or have the slightest inclination to seek out one particular person until I was in my early twenties and moved from there. Twenty is when you're still trying to determine what you want out of life, so it's normal to feel uncertain and that you're somehow behind your peers. You've had crushes, it may be that you just haven't met someone who truly stands out for you in a significant way. Did you ever interact with these guys that you liked? your analysis is also spot on. My problem is not only location but also my upbringing has been very unconventional and I find most people can't understand/or relate to me. Out of the 3 guys that I liked I eventually really disliked Guy Number 1 and 2 for different reasons and Guy 3 has moved away to a different University.
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