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Are guys on online dating sites representative of the male single population?

PlumPrincess

By PlumPrincess
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ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

Posted
Posted
I don't see your point. The discussion was about you thinking that stalking is normal behavior when pursuing a woman and I'm telling you that it's not. But hey, you're the one risking to get a "F*ck off" or getting blocked by your object of interest. But maybe she is doing that to raise her value and make you want her even more. It also means that if you overcome that obstacle as well, she will receive you with open arms. :rolleyes:

 

 

Well, guess what, I'm just better than you at judging men and red flags.

 

 

No, it doesn't make me think that this is reality. It rather makes me wonder if the online dating world is not indeed populated by deluded idiots.

 

Exactly.......

thatone Established Member

thatone

Posted
Posted (edited)
Thatone... darling... practically noone is self-aware at 20-25... I know it seems like lying but most of the time it isn't... People that age are still in the process of forming their identity.

 

indeed, dear, they are ;). but the wisdom of experience is still a good thing.

 

and in his shoes, he should approach women of that age with the assumption that they have no idea what they're looking for, so he should feel no shame in telling them in such a way that benefits himself.

 

and in doing so he will find that he won't have any trouble finding relationships, he'll have more trouble staying out of them than getting into them.

 

as many have stated on this forum, for men, especially men his age, dating is a numbers game. and the numbers in his age range are about half of the women, or a little more, are desperate to have a man around for the drama that ensues, and the other half or a little less don't want a man around at all.

 

banging his head against a wall chasing the indifferent ones will get him nothing but frustration. banging his head against the wall with the ones that feed on drama will get him frustration, but also sex on a semi regular basis.

 

it's a fairly logical decision.

Edited by thatone
fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted

 

as many have stated on this forum, for men, especially men his age, dating is a numbers game. and the numbers in his age range are about half of the women, or a little more, are desperate to have a man around for the drama that ensues, and the other half or a little less don't want a man around at all.

 

banging his head against a wall chasing the indifferent ones will get him nothing but frustration. banging his head against the wall with the ones that feed on drama will get him frustration, but also sex on a semi regular basis.

 

it's a fairly logical decision.

 

Wow, that's kind of depressing.

thatone Established Member

thatone

Posted
Posted
Wow, that's kind of depressing.

 

such is life with women in their early 20s, from my experience.

 

thankfully people grow up in their 30s for the most part.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
such is life with women in their early 20s, from my experience.

 

thankfully people grow up in their 30s for the most part.

 

Thus far that's been my general experience as well. I guess I was just hoping that I just had the misfortune of meeting the wrong women.

 

But, maybe it really is what you're saying it is. That certainly makes a lot more sense.

thatone Established Member

thatone

Posted
Posted
Thus far that's been my general experience as well. I guess I was just hoping that I just had the misfortune of meeting the wrong women.

 

But, maybe it really is what you're saying it is. That certainly makes a lot more sense.

 

maybe you and i both just had the misfortune of meeting the wrong women in that age range.

 

but then again, look around at how people imitate each other even down to how they act and dress, and you have to consider the fact that there are just a lot of terrible people walking the streets.

chimason New Member

chimason

Posted
Posted

There are a lot of married men on free dating sites, just because it's free. So I suggest you go for a dating sites that charge a little bit money. see this also

 

 

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hopefully that will help you find the perfect love you are looking for. Good luck!

ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

Posted
Posted
indeed, dear, they are ;). but the wisdom of experience is still a good thing.

 

and in his shoes, he should approach women of that age with the assumption that they have no idea what they're looking for, so he should feel no shame in telling them in such a way that benefits himself.

 

and in doing so he will find that he won't have any trouble finding relationships, he'll have more trouble staying out of them than getting into them.

 

as many have stated on this forum, for men, especially men his age, dating is a numbers game. and the numbers in his age range are about half of the women, or a little more, are desperate to have a man around for the drama that ensues, and the other half or a little less don't want a man around at all.

 

banging his head against a wall chasing the indifferent ones will get him nothing but frustration. banging his head against the wall with the ones that feed on drama will get him frustration, but also sex on a semi regular basis.

 

it's a fairly logical decision.

 

I'd like to think most people prefer to segue out of their 20's as decent people... not one who form habits of lying to get what they want.

 

I've never 'used' anyone for sex or anything else. Well... ok. Once. Come to find out he was really hurt... This was more than two decades ago... back when I assumed all men wanted was sex... My one and only ONS...

 

Never did that again... and since then I've always done my best to be as honest about my life and goals as humanly possible.

 

Sure, not everyone is or knows how to be. (honest that is) Still, I'd like to think that I'm more likely to attract other decent, honest people by forming good habits and resisting the urge to 'do unto others as they've done onto me... dammit' kind of approach. Not sure where that gets anyone in the long run.

ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

Posted
Posted
such is life with women in their early 20s, from my experience.

 

thankfully people grow up in their 30s for the most part.

 

fess up... I'm betting you weren't a pillar of self-awareness in your 20's either...

 

Everyone is more-or-less in the same boat. We all got our gripes... I could tell you plenty of stories about guys in their 20's... my ex H for one (he was 24 when I met him). Silly me... I had to marry him to find out he didn't know what he wanted :mad::mad::mad::mad:

aj22one Established Member

aj22one

Posted
Posted
I'd like to think most people prefer to segue out of their 20's as decent people... not one who form habits of lying to get what they want.

 

I've never 'used' anyone for sex or anything else. Well... ok. Once. Come to find out he was really hurt... This was more than two decades ago... back when I assumed all men wanted was sex... My one and only ONS...

 

Never did that again... and since then I've always done my best to be as honest about my life and goals as humanly possible.

 

Sure, not everyone is or knows how to be. (honest that is) Still, I'd like to think that I'm more likely to attract other decent, honest people by forming good habits and resisting the urge to 'do unto others as they've done onto me... dammit' kind of approach. Not sure where that gets anyone in the long run.

 

I think the point was that when a guy is in his 20s (particularly the early 20s) and is seeking a relationship, he's likely to encounter only two types of women: those who don't really care about men and dating/relationships (either momentarily or ever) and those women who want a relationship but only because they like drama in their lives. So, if one desires any kind of companionship and/or sex, it behooves him to lie or be "creative" as it were in order to get to that point. I would like to think there are a third type of woman, the ones who do want a relationship in their 20s and who are honest, but I think they are rare (I'm hoping my current gf is one of these types).

 

The only alternative I suppose is to either a) date older women or b) wait until your 30s to bother with sex and dating. I think option b would probably cause one to go mad though. Just sayin.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
Posted

When I was single and doing online dating, having many absolute idiots on the dating service doing numbskull stuff like sending out templated emails or penis pics as well as emails like "you're hawt" or "I love your pics" just made it easier for me and my profile and email contacts to shine above all the rest..

 

I welcomed their stupidity.. it made it easier for me an I was more successful because of it..

 

But the women out there.. you have it tough...

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
fess up... I'm betting you weren't a pillar of self-awareness in your 20's either...

 

Everyone is more-or-less in the same boat. We all got our gripes... I could tell you plenty of stories about guys in their 20's... my ex H for one (he was 24 when I met him). Silly me... I had to marry him to find out he didn't know what he wanted :mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

Being as I am, a man in his early 20s, I wouldn't say that I'm a "pillar of self-awareness" but I'm not a tumbleweed rolling through the desert either.

 

In my experience (and I really have no idea how much this applies in general) women in their early 20s seem to be far more flighty and casual than men my age.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
When I was single and doing online dating, having many absolute idiots on the dating service doing numbskull stuff like sending out templated emails or penis pics as well as emails like "you're hawt" or "I love your pics" just made it easier for me and my profile and email contacts to shine above all the rest..

 

I welcomed their stupidity.. it made it easier for me an I was more successful because of it..

 

But the women out there.. you have it tough...

 

Perhaps I should have you be my "Cyrano" and write all my message for me. I don't write stupid messages nor do I send penis pics, but whatever it is I am doing, it's clearly not working. :(

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
Posted
Perhaps I should have you be my "Cyrano" and write all my message for me. I don't write stupid messages nor do I send penis pics, but whatever it is I am doing, it's clearly not working. :(

 

How much you willing to pay ? .. I can be bought :laugh: j/k

 

Stupid is all relative...

Have you asked some women friends to look at what you send out or ask them what you are doing wrong..

 

Would you date yourself by reading your profile ?

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
Posted

One of my most successful tag lines was something along the lines of "Campfire Anyone?"

 

My main picture was me at night roasting marshmallows on a nice warm cozy fiery campfire up at the cabin in the mountains..

Of course my profile was more than a catchy line and pictures.. it made the reader think they would have a great time on a date..

ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

Posted
Posted
In my experience (and I really have no idea how much this applies in general) women in their early 20s seem to be far more flighty and casual than men my age.

 

... and LS is full of posts from 20 something women saying the same thing about the men their own age.

 

Not quite sure how you all can avoid bumping into each other at some point... Whassup with that?!

 

Us older folks bent on helping out the nicer young in's have tried to set up a few of you gents/ladies with each other but somehow it hasn't stuck. Oh well.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
... and LS is full of posts from 20 something women saying the same thing about the men their own age.

 

Not quite sure how you all can avoid bumping into each other at some point... Whassup with that?!

 

Us older folks bent on helping out the nicer young in's have tried to set up a few of you gents/ladies with each other but somehow it hasn't stuck. Oh well.

 

Yeah it's weird, it's almost like we're not inhabiting the same universe.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
Posted
How much you willing to pay ? .. I can be bought :laugh: j/k

 

Stupid is all relative...

Have you asked some women friends to look at what you send out or ask them what you are doing wrong..

 

Would you date yourself by reading your profile ?

 

I meant stupid on the basis of what you wrote: messages that say "hi you're hot" and the like. I write messages that I think reflect the fact that I like what they wrote about themselves and convey the fact that I'm interested in them and not just their pictures.

 

I've asked a few women to look at my sent messages and they seemed to think they were fine. Then again the women I asked weren't my age (a tad older) which might make their answers different.

 

And gee, I don't know. It's hard for me to separate my opinion of my profile from my opinion of myself (which is quite low). I will say that from my profile, I do at least sound like someone who is fun to be around (which is generally am).

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