Buttercup84 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I have always been single until I met my ex , just because I enjoyed being alone and hadn't met anyone decent . I miss my ex , but also like having time to myself and all that jazz . But I am not used to being back in the dating game again . I have never been a big dater , I went on two dates from a dating site and they didn't go well . I got a few rejections already today from the site and feel like crap . I do not even want a boyfriend yet . But I guess when you feel alone you are easily hurt , plus now it is christmas time and you have those bloody songs playing everywhere . Thank God you don't get that romantic christmas feeling here as it is boiling hot . I just miss being able to come home to someone and cuddle with someone at night . Sorry for the rant !
eleanorhurting Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Its hard to get used to it I know but you will be fine. You will get used to it. I will get used to it. Its been so hard but its finally true. After a month of therapy every day I feel less "empty" because I do not have that special someone in my life. I was really sad I was going to be spending christmas "alone" but then I started obligating myself to get cheered up. I started buying Christmas ornaments for the tree I am going to have when I move back to my apartment (I am at home until december because of a med school rotation) and I am even planning a decorating my tree wine night with my friends. It is sooo hard but at least you know you have been single and you have been OK in the past! You will be so again. I am proud of you for being strong you have come a long way!
Teuen101 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 think about it like this your free, no one to worrie about no mind game to deal with it's over and now you can look back on the relationship and learn from it. just think some one better out there for you. same for me
smokey bear Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 This post helped me, I have decided that this year im going to go all out, ive never done it before. Im going to decorate the outside and inside of my house, im going to plan to go to the carols and something special on xmas eve and xmas day with my mum so that this year i will look back and remember the special things than remember it being alone xx
smokey bear Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Also have you thought about a pet, i find getting something to take care of does help, you have something to cuddle and put all the built up love into. Also they say that people with pets tend not to get depression, google it. it does help.
Rimer Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Also have you thought about a pet, i find getting something to take care of does help, you have something to cuddle and put all the built up love into. Also they say that people with pets tend not to get depression, google it. it does help. I love pets. I had a dog, 2 cats, 4 bunnies and more with my ex. Now that we broke up I have 1 cat, 1 cat went to my parents and she's got the dog. We still both have the rights to the dog as long as we have a chance. Anyways... Having a cat that you got with your ex is hard. It constantly reminds me of her eventho I love the cat it's hard
mike588 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I know what you mean. I'll most likely be spending the holidays alone too, but I'll take this alone time to heal before jumping into another relationship when I'm not ready, just to have someone. Hopefully the next year will be better.
The dot Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I have always been single until I met my ex , just because I enjoyed being alone and hadn't met anyone decent . I miss my ex , but also like having time to myself and all that jazz . But I am not used to being back in the dating game again . I have never been a big dater , I went on two dates from a dating site and they didn't go well . I got a few rejections already today from the site and feel like crap . I do not even want a boyfriend yet . But I guess when you feel alone you are easily hurt , plus now it is christmas time and you have those bloody songs playing everywhere . Thank God you don't get that romantic christmas feeling here as it is boiling hot . I just miss being able to come home to someone and cuddle with someone at night . Sorry for the rant ! Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE being "single" and living alone. Been doing it for well over a decade now, these days I'm turning down relationships because I don't need the drama. Right now I'm trying to find a way to get out of spending Christmas with the family so I can be alone then, too. Heck, I don't even describe myself as "single" anymore, because that expression means there is a void to be filled somewhere, and that's certainly not the case with me. My advice is that you should focus on reaching that level of self-realisation. You should be looking to build a great life alone, whether it be through hobbies, travel, a career, charity work, whatever. I'd suggest taking 6-12 months out of the dating game, determined to spend at least this amount of time alone. Be unavailable for a while and focus on doing things that make YOU happy. Don't bother with dating sites and the like if they make you unhappy, just take things that you actually want in your life. Then, when you are ready to find someone, you'll be in a much better position to weed out the people who are only going to drag you down.
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