monkey00 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 So she broke up with me a few days ago. Her claim was that it didn't feel right being with me, which I haven't a clue. Because it's based on the way she feels...I'm not a woman so it's difficult to understand her emotions. I felt like the last time we got back together, we probably moved to quickly to bf gf status. We got back together for about 2 weeks until this recent break up. Initially things were going extremely well, then I blame myself for taking her for granted and becoming slightly aloof or indecisive about things to do/eat. And I think that was the period she was feeling me out and decided to call it quits. I was devastated, and my gut tells me it was probably my doing. But my gut also tells me this break-up was a test to see how I would react, and that she still wants to be with me. But maybe the expectations in a relationship is just too much pressure. She encouraged and told me it would be okay to date other people, but she said she isn't going to date anyone else and doesn't want to date anyone else. But we agreed to be friends, since we both feel that we are good people and not being friends would be a shame. When I first resisted against being friends and doing NC, she strongly felt that we should be and insisted. But although we're friends, I find it difficult not to read between the lines. Although it's been a few days, she still treats me as if I'm her boyfriend without the physical/sexual aspect of it. The day we broke up she asked me to give her a hand massage, told me about a boo boo she had, on the train put her legs stretched on my legs as she normally does. We went to an event recently, and offered me to try/share this piece of cake she was eating. She seemed a little offended when I declined. I guess she still feels comfortable around me. Even with the above I accused her of playing games, but she denied it. And she claims to have let me go already. I don't think she's treating me extra nice because I'm the dumpee, but it's just her nature whenever she is around me. Right now I've accepted it and in fact am ready to move on and probably even date others. But I don't want to date and invest my time in other girls if she secretly still wants to be with me. I still strongly do want to be with her. I haven't asked her to hangout 1on1 since the breakup but I know she probably would. But what the freak is the deal with this girl? Was I right that we broke up because she felt I took her for granted?
Eddie Edirol Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 She is treating you nice because she feels really awkward not talking to you everyday. Maybe because she has no one else to talk to. But what she is doing is having all the great parts of you without the attraction. She likes talking to you on her terms, which is no physical interaction. So youre giving her what she wants without having what you want, which is the physical aspect as well. Dont do this, she will never get back with you. You have to cut her off, otherwise you wont move on. Theres no shame in not staying friends, because friends will get you nowhere. She feels lonely without talking to you, maybe a lil bit of a void, but it wont last for long. She wanted to break it off, go back to NC, otherwise she will never realize what she lost. You wont get her back, but cutting her off is the best way to make her realize what she is missing. if you stay friends, she wont have to miss you.
Author monkey00 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 What you're saying makes sense. I also think that was why she was ready to get back together so quickly since the other break up, she said she was sad (and probably lonely too). But that time she did freak out because she thought I wanted to do NC and that I was going to give her back everything she's given me in the course of our relationship. Which absolutely spells doom for a friendship I think. Just that alone probably helped us get back together. Yeah we're used to talking to each other several times a week. It's not that I'm unable to move on while remaining friends. I have pretty strong control over my emotions and can start dating again if I choose. If anything I just won't contact her and wait to see what happens.
Recommended Posts