Makavelli Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Its been almost a month since she has spoken to me.... Is a month to long for a break up>>?
Rorschach64 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Give us more information on the story, like what caused the break up, what was your relationship life...ya know the usual details.
Author Makavelli Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Basically I have been with this girl almost 4 years. She is almost 25 and I just turned 27. Relationship has been great except for the last month before she broke up. There was so much drama from both parties, but the drama was with other things not between us, I was moving to a new place, transferring job departments and positions, surgery, and she has been miserable ever since she moved an hour away from me. She still lives with her parents and when her parents moved she had to move, well the last 2 weeks there was a different tone of voice... something was off I had a bad feeling it was going to happen and it did. Sent me a txt October 18 saying she lost her love for me along those lines. Haven't seen or talked to her since. I paid for her cell phone so when she did that, she had a family member give me back the cell and I have no way to contact.. I have sent letters but no response back. Im like in limbo man lol... Im supposed to go there Thinksgiving but IDK IDK im just lost.
Rorschach64 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 So you can say you honestly tried in the end to make amends and work the relationship out? She knows you want her as a girlfriend? I take it was extremely messy from your message...since you said that lol, what did you tell her in your letters to her? In any case if she is ignoring you she obviously fine with her position, probably doesn't care about you anymore, and doesn't love you anymore. Though I find it weird just lost feelings for you because of an hour distance...smells like something else is at play here.
Author Makavelli Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Yeah letters basically apologizing on my behalf on the stress I was going through and putting into the relationship. I did nothing wrong to her... I mean just had alot of stuff going on didn't see her for a month. She doesn't have a job, car is bad atm, nothing. She isn't with anyone else I contracted her dad work for over $100,000 a year so me and him are pretty close. I don't think there is anyone else but... I think there was an influence from somewhere her cousin which is also a female lives over there because of some kind of family issues and they have gotten close the last month. Close as I mean sister close. I just don't see how you just loose love for someone in a snap of a moment, completely ignore them, I mean hell send me a BAD message like **** off leave me alone at least. I don't even get that, its a mystery. Her dad asked her what did I do that was so wrong for her not to talk to me and she wouldn't even say anything to him man, sat there in silence. This whole thing is weird man and I can't put my finger on it and on top of it all I really don't know the TRUE reason for breaking up I am only assuming a build up of drama all at once from both parties. Basically I moved across the USA for this girl, been there 100% supporting her and everything, paid for cell phone bill, cell phone, took her totall the nice restaraunts you name it. I know its not about money but the point is I was there ALOT. I did everything in the world for her and her family. Than I get the bomb droppped on me, im still shocked from it. Somehow I managed to hit the gym 7 days a week since than, and keep my weight down and be healthy with eating and lost weight down to 205 from 241 in a matter of 4 weeks, and im 6 ft 1 so my weights like perfect now. I guess loosing someone you love is a good weight lose program lol. My emotions btw are like a roller coaster I can be decently ok and trying to be somewhat positive to like hating life sad, lonely and depressed. It sucks dude, I try to keep busy 100% of the time, so busy I wear myself out and fall right to sleep and don't think about ****.
Rorschach64 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Well to be honest man, all you can do is put that NC distance at play here unless she contacts you then based on what she says LC. You won't know the answers till she honest to god tells you what is going on way down the road when she gets her head straight. Trust me on this, otherwise you will just go nuts thinking about this. It is funny I did the same things for my ex-fiancee and she ended up breaking up with me over a misunderstood FB chat, accused me of cheating on her, then cleared my name of said cheating to only get the excuse of there is too much hurt. Apparently being there for your girl and treating her properly and helping her is viewed as a weakness to some girls...immature-selfish girls. In time you will start seeing red flags when you are apart from her, thanks to LS I've seen at least 4 red flags in my dead relationship major ones in the 5 months of silence. In conclusion, all I know is I would never ever do this to someone I love and care about with all my heart. Would you? I think that's the only thing you truly need to know at this point.
Berlington Bob Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 As for the question of whether a month is too long... no way. In fact, the book I read called "The Magic of Making Up" actually insists you wait a month to let the panic feeling go away a bit and help you to think a little more rationally. As for what really happened, no one is going to be able to tell you for sure other than her, but it has been my experience time and time again (and i'm sure most others here), that when something doesn't feel right, there's usually someone else she met. I say this because meeting someone else is probably the only thing that can make someone feel that drastically different as to just end things out of the blue. If this is the case, she probably doesn't want to talk to you because she knows she would feel guilty... and she SHOULD!!!... If you really want to patch things up I would say try to get in touch with her without seeming too desperate and arranging a 30-45 minute lunch outing. But if you do that be prepared to hear her real reasons and be prepared to not like them. Good luck and sorry she broke your heart.
Rorschach64 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 If there is someone else, which I would suspect since no one just does a 180 because of an hour distance, she would never tell him the truth. You know why? The guilt, she will go out of her way to make it seem like he is garbage plus you are right that's probably why she is silent, the guilt is festering in her. That is if there really is someone else. I know my ex-fiancee kept the other person she was seeing right after the break hidden even from her friends and her family. I only found out because her friend investigated for me due to her own suspicions and she was right. Boy howdy, she went off on an insult and curse ridden rant on me when I confronted her. People are screwed up.
pburneux Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 If you want to check out the "Magic of Making Up" this guy is talking about id suggest you go to here and read these reviews.. his last review did the charm for me
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