colliejoanie Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 A guy recently faded, and I don't blame him.....really, it was my fault. I apologized....blah blah blah.......I accept that it's over, even though I still have feelings. But he keeps randomly texting.....every 3-4 days. "Hey". "how are you". etc etc. Mindless chit chat that is getting so annoying. Especially since when I respond he goes silent again for ANOTHER three days. I just want to randomly text him and say "WHAT IS THE POINT of what you're doing???" Has anyone ever called anyone out on this flakey behavior??? I don't think I have the cajones, but I'd like to hear if someone else has!
blaze918 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 In my 23 year old college guy experience I would say that it's totally cool to call him out...just do it in a casual way. Like "lol whats up with your sketchy texting skills...I'm loving the three day wait time for a response" don't be like "wtf is your problem, why don't you text me back" try it you'll probably get a "Haha " back followed by whatever the reason is.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 The last time he reappeared......on Tuesday, he said he's been really busy. I said "that's good. me too". Four hours later NOTHING from him.....so I said "Busy again?? HAHA". I figured....I didn't have anything to lose. He replied THE NEXT DAY and said "i'm sorry". Why does he even respond???? Why am I responding and caring, I guess should be the question, eh?? But, I guess I'd just like to know A) why he's prolonging the inevitable - of us not talking or being friends, and B) if anyone has ever just called someone out for this behavior, or if you just let it fade.
daphne Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I don't call someone out for flakiness. What would be the point? It won't bring about the desired effect. If you are even upset that the person is flakey, you want a different outcome than has happened. Letting the person know they got to you keeps you from moving on and makes the other person feel powerful. Moving on is the best course of action. Ignoring the behavior asserts your self respect and lets you find someone else who's not going to yank your chain.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 I don't call someone out for flakiness. What would be the point? It won't bring about the desired effect. If you are even upset that the person is flakey, you want a different outcome than has happened. Letting the person know they got to you keeps you from moving on and makes the other person feel powerful. Moving on is the best course of action. Ignoring the behavior asserts your self respect and lets you find someone else who's not going to yank your chain. Yes, so true. And that's what I'll do. I'm just in the middle of feeling sorry for myself . I'll end up doing the right thing. I just wish I knew why he's doing this. Maybe because he knows I have feelings??? And to boost his own ego when I respond???
blaze918 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Haha well I like the response you gave him. I think I agree with the above post, just move on. Who knows maybe he will start texting you again in the future. You probed him a little and that's about all you can do. Good luck! There are plenty of other guys out there.
daphne Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Yes, so true. And that's what I'll do. I'm just in the middle of feeling sorry for myself . I'll end up doing the right thing. I just wish I knew why he's doing this. Maybe because he knows I have feelings??? And to boost his own ego when I respond??? Why does a 3 year old stick pennies up his nose? Who knows why people do the nutty things they do. Mostly, it's because you provide him with attention and he is stringing you along (perhaps completely unintentionally) to get an attention fix. So yes, this is an ego boost for him. Sorry, but we all have done this at some point or another. You're just on the receiving end this time.
phineas Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Why do you even respond? when women pull that "drive by txting" crap on me I stop responding. It's straight up game playing. Txting someone then not responding when they get back to you? LOOOSER! I don't ever initiate contact with them either. They can get your ego fix elsewhere. I called one women out a yr ago. We were good friends for a yr then she said she wanted to date, didn't want me seeing other women, ect. almost 3 months in she was still dangling that sex carrot in front of this jack-ass & I called her on it. Yeah, women get REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed when you call them on that crap. They also still try to twist it around and act like their doing you a favor by calling you up to talk to you a yr after you've shown them you really don't need them in your life. LOL! so I just ignore people like that. If they REALLY wanted to be with you, they would at least ask to see you.
ShannonMI Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 (edited) A guy recently faded, and I don't blame him.....really, it was my fault. I apologized....blah blah blah.......I accept that it's over, even though I still have feelings. But he keeps randomly texting.....every 3-4 days. "Hey". "how are you". etc etc. Mindless chit chat that is getting so annoying. Especiallysince when I respond he goes silent again for ANOTHER three days. I just want to randomly text him and say "WHAT IS THE POINT of what you're doing???" Has anyone ever called anyone out on this flakey behavior??? I don't think I have the cajones, but I'd like to hear if someone else has! Yeah absolutely. I've gotten to that point with most of the men in my life. My ex who tried to remain in contact with me. I asked him what his deal was and to leave me alone. We would never be friends, he's a piece of sh*t, lose my number etc. etc. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and speak your mind or people will walk all over you. I don't know what the deal is with this guy you are talking to. I'm not saying he's walking all over you, but if you want to know what his deal is, then ASK HIM. Simple as that. He may respect you more for it. You can even be feisty and say "hey what's with your flakey @ss?" I've done that too with flakey men. Just come right out and ask him. Edited November 12, 2011 by ShannonMI
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