TJ904 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 A while back, I belonged to a hobby-related group that had about 100 people. I'd attend meetings and events twice a week, often 3 times a week. Anyway, there was a sort of friendship with one man that went sour. (NO romance, as I was in a serious relationship at the time). It just went belly-up for a number of reasons (his bipolarism for example, which no one else knew about), and he actually became verbally abusive in front of a number of other people. He escalated the situation to an extreme degree (it got ugly and embarrassing for me), and then he left that group (as the "victim") and joined a competitive group, as other people have done (they just get bored and move on so in his new group, he's with 10-20 other familiar faces). I eventually decided to leave the group because of the negativity toward me (people who were once friendly refusing to talk to me, being shut-out of activities I used to help plan, and the dirty looks I'd get, etc.) It's been almost 2 years now since the incident, and over a year since I left the original group and yet people I see at a function every month or so, are STILL treating me like dirt, STILL spreading rumors, STILL gossiping, STILL giving me the cold shoulder, STILL sneering at me. Every time I go to the event, I notice another 2-3-4 people who were once very friendly are avoiding me. People who don't even know me (or him for that matter) and weren't even there are stirring things up and bad mouthing me-- STILL. And none of them has ever come to me to ask what really happened-- and at this point, years later, what does it matter??? There's nothing I can "do"-- I don't feel the need to confront anyone or try to explain or whatever. I ignore that group of "mean girls" and enjoy myself.... and now I've learned that I'm being bashed for ignoring the people who spread rumors and gossip about me-- I'M the bad person because I stopped being "nice" to them! So I'm out of both groups, am trying to go about my life, etc.. I'M not the third party who is spreading malicious rumors-- yet they all hate ME! WHY? Tomorrow is another event and while I know enjoy myself as much as possible, I also know they'll be at it again-- pointing their fingers at me, making an obvious show of turning their backs to me, etc. I don't know what I'm hoping for-- opinions, advice, sympathy, etc. It feels good to vent. I just don't understand because I was always the loving, kind, welcoming, friendly, caring person in the group. I don't understand why so many people turned on me and seem to relish being mean. We're all over 40 too.
The Outlaw Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 These people are just jack*sses. They're all very clearly miserable with their own lives and have decided to single someone out to feel better about themselves. If they really want to spread malicious, untrue rumors about you, that's their loss. You just stick to what you know, and who you know. These people aren't worth the time of day to be doing this to you-let alone anyone else, but don't let them spoil your fun. Good luck
magnusv2 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 dont care about those they arent worth nothing for you, try finding new one i bet you get friend fast
myleen Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 don't mind other people what they think or say about you as long you they don't heart you in physical....mind them gives you more stress is not good to your health
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