beancounter999 Posted May 23, 2004 Posted May 23, 2004 Today is day 8 with NC. The longest we had ever gone before is 3 days. I thought I was feeling better, but I find that I am missing the little things sooo much. The daily conversations, just snuggling while we watched tv, etc. I mean, I know he's total scum and that our whole relationship was based on lies, but he consumed such a huge amount of my time that I'm left with this big gaping hole! And things weren't all bad. How can we go from 5 or 6 calls a day and staying together 5 nights a week to zero without feeling a huge loss? And, on top of it, our last conversation was horrible. No closure. I know I shouldn't worry about how he's feeling, but I can't help but be consumed with wondering whether he's feeling a loss too? Even if he didn't really love me, it must be hard on him too? Somehow? I guess it would make me feel better if I thought that I meant something to him. This is so hard. I feel like I'm going backward instead of forward. My head knows he's scum, but it's like my heart hasn't caught up yet. Why don't they communicate??
bamaguy20 Posted May 23, 2004 Posted May 23, 2004 you can check out my story under break ups....itssounds similar to you in a way..my gf broke up with me.....what a friend told me the other night was that things will get easier, and a good time table for when that will be is to assume a week for every month you were with the person....its been three months for me, and im only half way there...we will all make it through someday....the thought of her or in your case him with another person is the worst...for me at least...but even as i tell you this..i still feel that knot in the pit of my stomach thinking of her with a guy or possibly being with a guy, not sure yet.....that i know.....it sucks... i havent spoken to her in 10 days...and i want to call..but i cant give in..ive read articles the best way to get over someoen you loved is to not "be friends" but give them up cold turkey..and thats all i can try now myself becasue nothing else is working..
princessjulieanne Posted May 24, 2004 Posted May 24, 2004 I completely understand, its only been 3 days, I've always been the one to initiate the contact either by call or email. Guess I just want to prove to him and to myself that I can go on without him. Its hard, guess I cheated a bit, I called when I knew he wasn't going to be there just to hear his voice. Don't recommend that, it certainly didn't help. Hope things get easier for you, I have to say talking on this site helps its like a life line, my family is supportive but I don't feel right telling them just how much I hurt but I do feel better knowing I'm not alone and neither are you, just take it one day or one hour at a time. Take care and be strong!
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