lonelynyc Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I haven't spoken to my ex in over a month, nor do I have any desire to. She's entirely blocked out of my life--email, AIM, facebook, even changed my number. The way she tortured me with mixed signals and the worst sort of selfish behavior, I am perfectly at peace with never speaking to her again. Still, the moving on process isn't all roses. I dated someone for a few weeks in late September/early October but it just didn't work out. I didn't get that electrifying feeling I got at the beginning of my romance with my ex, and I don't feel like settling for something that doesn't quite reach that level. Is this a sort of stupid approach on my part? I mean is it healthy to even want something so intense? I have never experienced the dramatic highs and deep lows in a romantic relationship that I did with my ex. Is holding out for something intensely passionate a bad way to gauge the potential of a new relationship? I don't want my ex back, ever, but I feel like I still need to come to the terms with the past. I need to get over those amazing feelings I had 2 years ago. Maybe it was always just a fantasy. Right now, however, I feel a little hopeless that I'll ever find another love so exciting from the start. Anyone else sort of feel this way? Have any advice on how to deal with it?
HonestMan Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I dont know the details of your situation but I know there is someone out there who will not only have the same or more passion as your last- but they wont torture you with mixed signals I dont think you can rush or force these things- They seem to happen when you least expect it. and as luck would have it- as soon as you meet that person and are having the time of your life wondering how things could be so good your X will undoubtly track you down and try and get you back (anyone else had this happen?) BUT!! ITS TOO LATE!!! HAHA Keep your head up- and dont let this stop you from doing things you love and enjoy. Sure sometimes its easier to do activities you like when you have someone to share them with. Dont let that stop you from doing them on your own! You will still have fun and feel fufillment knowing that you can have just as exciting or even more of an exciting life without them! Goodluck
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I haven't spoken to my ex in over a month, nor do I have any desire to. She's entirely blocked out of my life--email, AIM, facebook, even changed my number. The way she tortured me with mixed signals and the worst sort of selfish behavior, I am perfectly at peace with never speaking to her again. Still, the moving on process isn't all roses. I dated someone for a few weeks in late September/early October but it just didn't work out. I didn't get that electrifying feeling I got at the beginning of my romance with my ex, and I don't feel like settling for something that doesn't quite reach that level. Is this a sort of stupid approach on my part? I mean is it healthy to even want something so intense? I have never experienced the dramatic highs and deep lows in a romantic relationship that I did with my ex. Is holding out for something intensely passionate a bad way to gauge the potential of a new relationship? I don't want my ex back, ever, but I feel like I still need to come to the terms with the past. I need to get over those amazing feelings I had 2 years ago. Maybe it was always just a fantasy. Right now, however, I feel a little hopeless that I'll ever find another love so exciting from the start. Anyone else sort of feel this way? Have any advice on how to deal with it? Don't believe anyone should settle if it's not what they want (as long as it's realistic... ex: I wouldn't recommed a lady holding out for a prince charming with no flaws). I feel it's far to early for you to even find that connection with someone else that you had with your ex. I would however encourage you to casual date... nothing serious.
Author lonelynyc Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 I dont know the details of your situation but I know there is someone out there who will not only have the same or more passion as your last- but they wont torture you with mixed signals I dont think you can rush or force these things- They seem to happen when you least expect it. and as luck would have it- as soon as you meet that person and are having the time of your life wondering how things could be so good your X will undoubtly track you down and try and get you back (anyone else had this happen?) BUT!! ITS TOO LATE!!! HAHA Keep your head up- and dont let this stop you from doing things you love and enjoy. Sure sometimes its easier to do activities you like when you have someone to share them with. Dont let that stop you from doing them on your own! You will still have fun and feel fufillment knowing that you can have just as exciting or even more of an exciting life without them! Goodluck She'd need a PI to track me down at this point. I'm not miserable alone, don't get me wrong. I'm doing much better than I was back in September. Even during the good times with my ex I always appreciated the time I spent alone pursuing my own interests/hobbies. I just feel like there's this entire side of life I might miss out on. I miss being in love, but you're right, you can't force these things... It's so prized because it's rare to find that sort of connection.
Author lonelynyc Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Don't believe anyone should settle if it's not what they want (as long as it's realistic... ex: I wouldn't recommed a lady holding out for a prince charming with no flaws). I feel it's far to early for you to even find that connection with someone else that you had with your ex. I would however encourage you to casual date... nothing serious. I know it takes patience, evidenced in all the people well into their 30s and 40s still searching for their match. I'm only 23, so I have some time. Still, dating casually has almost soured me to the whole idea of finding something real again. I've been on legitimate dates with 4 women in the past month, but just haven't had those sparks... All four are extremely attractive on a physical level, but the real connection hasn't been there for me.
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I know it takes patience, evidenced in all the people well into their 30s and 40s still searching for their match. I'm only 23, so I have some time. Still, dating casually has almost soured me to the whole idea of finding something real again. I've been on legitimate dates with 4 women in the past month, but just haven't had those sparks... All four are extremely attractive on a physical level, but the real connection hasn't been there for me. Well don't go out there with the mind set that you are searching for the next one. Go out there and just enjoy their company. The best things happen when we least expect them too. 6 years ago, I was carefree single and loving it. No desire for a relationship. Then my ex fell into my life, and he is an amazing man and I appreciate every minute I had with him. That was a great surprise and a firework type of connection.
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