mikeymad Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Its been not even 2 years since dday, and less than 1.5 sice the d was final. Shes getting married to the person she had an ea/pa with, and imho, sided with her and encouraged the d. The person she wrote and sent a letter to saying what they did was a mistake and they could never speak again. At least thats what i thought. I dont know why, but all the hurt, anger and sadness surrounding the situation is coming back full force. Her family was horrible to me, she turned into a monster (dont we all) during the d, and we havent spoken since. I still dont know "why", and havent come to grips with the fact that i may never know. Is there any logical explanation for her behavior? Someone mentioned she chose to ignore all the consequences of our R ending, and it will hit her someday. I feel like my current R is suffering, as i see a level of anger, bitterness,and withdrawal present in myself that stems from where i was. Its almost like thenthings she said and did become like little time bombs in my head, waiting to explode at a moments notice. I justify it to myself that the naive me no longer exists. There are no guarentees in love, and promises are simply for the moment. Love is a risk. Still feel lost, like i dont know who or what i am anymore. Rebuilding is not an easy task. I am not sure i can talk through my situation with my current GF, as my past has been an issue and im not sure that she will understand that because i am having these feelings surrounding this event and this week has been especially hard. Thanks for listening, just needed to vent.
Tiberius Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 If no children are involved you should just forget about her and the thankfull somebody else will have to pay child support to her.
Steadfast Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 It's 11-11-11 and a slew of people are getting married today. Federal holiday, three day weekend. party time! Well over half married today will end in divorce. If it's the second go-round, make it 60-70%. Happy trails! He's marrying a cheater, and she's marrying a man who sleeps with another man's wife. They're perfect for each other! Love is just a word. A feeling. If you're feeling the way you described, it might be too soon for you. Most advise giving it two or more years before dating again. Make good choices. Take heart. Keep working on you. Know that while you may have problems, the one you don't have is living with someone you don't really know.
andyg99 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 11/11/11... how sweet, maybe she can plan her divorce for 12/12/12....
trippi1432 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 He's marrying a cheater, and she's marrying a man who sleeps with another man's wife. They're perfect for each other! Love is just a word. A feeling. Good advice here MikeyMad....my exH just remarried this past July. Two years from the time we originally split up...and to the woman he moved in with two weeks after we tried to reconcile...after she moved her husband out of course. :rolleyes: Guess what...their marriage is just like our marriage...yelling, screaming, blaming...and they have only been married 3 months. Eventually MikeyMad, you will find some peace in your heart when you finally stop putting effort in trying to figure her out....when you take back your power in finding your own happiness....when you stop putting it on others to provide your happiness, when you enjoy sharing you with someone else as part of being happy, not as part of trying to figure out what once was that was/is no longer healthy (the past marriage). As to the girlfriend, I have to agree, perhaps it was too soon. While understandable, you sought out comfort...your girlfriend probably does want to provide some support...but she won't be able to until you are done giving your ex-wife power in your new relationship. You have the ability to stop that, by being done with your ex and letting go. Until then, stress and anxiety will rule your current relationship...and the shame of that is...neither you nor your girlfriend deserve that. You take back your power to be happy when you stop allowing the people who care the least about you have power over you being happy. Once you do that Mikey, you will find that the people who have loved you the whole time finally get the chance to show you how much they have been trying to love you. Stop giving the ex that power, start living your life for your own happiness.
Darren Steez Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Bet it hurts thinking about her happy with the man that she was screwing behind your back. Bet you want her to feel the pain you felt, somehow realise she made a massive mistake and see you for the guy you are. No one can love her like you did, that this guy will cheat on her, so she can feel the hurt you felt. Dude, why are you wasting time on this broad? It may not look like it but you had a lucky escape, what if she cheated when you were married or worse had kids? And now your present relationship is suffering because this ex is sucking all the oxygen out of the fire..why? Because you love her? Because you were hurt? Moving on is hard but not half as hard as holding on to all the nonsense, you tell me you kiss your present and your ex is still on your mind? of course not, dude you deserve to be happy so why not LET GO! Life is not certain, we dont know who's going to hurt us or not, we just try to trust our intuition about people, that's the risk, so what you've been hurt, no point in moping around, your ex is married and good luck to her but you have your own life, be a man, move on and try to build something with your present girl. Stop moping and live life. we only have one shot at life, the minutes that go by you never get again, so why waste them on somebody who hurt you? Get that nonsense out of your life, you met someone else, that's a positive start because if you wallow in this self pity you may lose her. Smile bro. Life is good! Good luck!!
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