primer Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Do you try NOT to be a burden to your SO? I try not to talk about my problems or mention anything I need. I don't want to be a burden on him. When I used to mention my irritants, I was just venting. I did not do it often. When I say I want things, I am not asking him to buy it. It is things that I would "like" and I can buy myself - I just need to go shopping and find what I want. Now I try not to talk so as not be a burden on him. Do you think he is too sensitive?
oaks Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Do you try NOT to be a burden to your SO? Well, yes, up to a point. Also, partners support each other, so when one asks "how was your day?" it isn't entirely healthy to say "fine" when it wasn't. Talking about problems (not necessarily expecting your partner to be able to magic them away) can be very healthy, but I also wouldn't want my partner to be my therapist - moderation in all things etc. Now I try not to talk so as not be a burden on him. Do you think he is too sensitive? Or you are. Hard to say.
azsinglegal Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I have ADD. My BF listens to what I yap about and then picks the 4th or 5th thing I say to respond to. Never bothers me cuz I know I ramble on...I wouldn't call it a burden. I'd call it a pain in the ass but manageable.
zengirl Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I try not to vent to other people very often. I think venting is a pretty selfish and pointless behavior (studies show that most venting/letting out anger and frustration/complaining does not help people feel better; what people get from it is the social boost from being supported, but you can seek more positive support, I think). I do ask for emotional support when I need it, and I don't find that to be too much of a burden, to give or request. But instead of venting, I actually ask for support and something I think would make me feel better, whether it be help problem solving or just a cuddle. Venting seems to be releasing the anger and hoping the other person does something that makes it feel better, but without any sort of consciousness to what that would be OR with a consciousness to what it would be BUT without stating it clearly for the person. Sometimes, I really don't know what'll make me feel better, and I'll tell the people around me, "I'm feeling crappy. I need to cheer up." If I knew what would cheer me up, I'd do it or tell them or whatever; sometimes, I don't. Anyway, that's my 'rant' about venting. As to whether you're being unfair or he is, impossible to say. I never worry about being a burden on my SO. I don't think it's in my nature to be a burden; I'm kind of an independent sort. And I've never felt a SO was a burden on me.
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