qqqttt Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I've been with a guy for 2 and a half years. We both lost our virginities to each other. We've had a pretty good relationship. We were best friends and felt completely comfortable with each other. We've had ups and down like any other relationship and have only really broken up once through our relationship. About two months ago he became unsure if he wanted to be together due to a lack of trust he felt towards me. There was no infidelity involved. We have been trying to "work things out" for a while. He eventually felt I was smothering him. At the time I saw it as showing him how much I loved him, but now I see how annoying it probably was. One night three weeks ago he was being really rude to me for no reason. He ended up telling me that night he didn't "love me like that" anymore and said we should try to be together anymore. He didn't text me that night or the next day. We work together, so on Saturday when we saw each other, nothing changed. If anything, he paid more attention to me than he had before. He was flirty and attentive. Then he left that night and again, didn't try to make conversation through text. It's gone this way for three weeks. No talking during the week, flirty at work. It's gotten now that he just seems annoyed with me when we aren't face-to-face. The other day I was at his house talking with his mom, who I also work with, and I sat with him for a little bit. After a while, we starting kissing and one thing led to another. He had always said that if he ever kissed me or if we had sex, it meant he wanted to get back together because he's not the kind of guy who had sex with anyone he doesn't love. Halfway through he says, "this doesn't mean anything, right?..." I was confused and hurt, but agreed because I didn't want to sound crazy or desperate. Afterwards he hugged me and said, "byeee, friend." Then left. The next day I asked him if that would be a one-time thing or ongoing. He said, "lol. One-time. I just wanted to give you a tease." Still, he's ignoring me during the week and being very friendly at work. I've gone through these same feelings towards him at one point in our relationship (feeling friendly-love towards him) and I snapped out of it. That was when we saw each other every day, though. Now that we only see each other twice a week and he is acting like a crazy man (although, that's how I acted, but not as bad) I don't know whether I should pursue or quit at this point. Opinions?
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I've been with a guy for 2 and a half years. We both lost our virginities to each other. We've had a pretty good relationship. We were best friends and felt completely comfortable with each other. We've had ups and down like any other relationship and have only really broken up once through our relationship. About two months ago he became unsure if he wanted to be together due to a lack of trust he felt towards me. There was no infidelity involved. We have been trying to "work things out" for a while. He eventually felt I was smothering him. At the time I saw it as showing him how much I loved him, but now I see how annoying it probably was. One night three weeks ago he was being really rude to me for no reason. He ended up telling me that night he didn't "love me like that" anymore and said we should try to be together anymore. He didn't text me that night or the next day. We work together, so on Saturday when we saw each other, nothing changed. If anything, he paid more attention to me than he had before. He was flirty and attentive. Then he left that night and again, didn't try to make conversation through text. It's gone this way for three weeks. No talking during the week, flirty at work. It's gotten now that he just seems annoyed with me when we aren't face-to-face. The other day I was at his house talking with his mom, who I also work with, and I sat with him for a little bit. After a while, we starting kissing and one thing led to another. He had always said that if he ever kissed me or if we had sex, it meant he wanted to get back together because he's not the kind of guy who had sex with anyone he doesn't love. Halfway through he says, "this doesn't mean anything, right?..." I was confused and hurt, but agreed because I didn't want to sound crazy or desperate. Afterwards he hugged me and said, "byeee, friend." Then left. The next day I asked him if that would be a one-time thing or ongoing. He said, "lol. One-time. I just wanted to give you a tease." Still, he's ignoring me during the week and being very friendly at work. I've gone through these same feelings towards him at one point in our relationship (feeling friendly-love towards him) and I snapped out of it. That was when we saw each other every day, though. Now that we only see each other twice a week and he is acting like a crazy man (although, that's how I acted, but not as bad) I don't know whether I should pursue or quit at this point. Opinions? He's having his cake and eating it too. You need to step back and pull away from him. Stop being readily avaliable. I know you work together but LC. Only speak to him if you have too. Don't be rude, be polite, but don't fall into his flirty gestures. No more sex with him. He needs to know he gets you and just you, or non of you. Go out with friends, and work on you.
geegirl Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 What a douche. He's flirting to get sex. Don't engage, unless you have something to say since you work together. He doesn't want to be in an R but wants the benefits of an R - sex. He's giving you just enough to get what he wants.
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 What a douche. He's flirting to get sex. Don't engage, unless you have something to say since you work together. He doesn't want to be in an R but wants the benefits of an R - sex. He's giving you just enough to get what he wants. Yup agreed.
eleanorhurting Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 so many of us have been there... leave!
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