carhill Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I've often wondered if maybe I should start wearing a ring and see if women start approaching and pursuing me. Perhaps it's time for an experiment. I would say it's a great experiment, but in the realm of social intercourse rather than overt deception in the name of pursuit of romance. Use the ring to become comfortable and unaware of 'doing what you do' so, when interacting with women without it, you will still be and feel the same. I tried this after my exW and I split up and found, over time, that it didn't matter whether I was wearing a wedding band or not. The interactions were the same. What had changed? Me, the person. The ring now resides in my jewelry box as a reminder of one era of life.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Quality expects quality. And it's only a high horse if you feel like you are looking up from below. Exactly......:cool::cool::cool:
Woggle Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I will say there is truth to the fact that wearing a wedding ring makes it much easier for a man to get attention from women. I tried it myself after my divorce before I sold it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I will say there is truth to the fact that wearing a wedding ring makes it much easier for a man to get attention from women. I tried it myself after my divorce before I sold it. Hmm...well maybe I will look into experimenting and see what happens... I would say it's a great experiment, but in the realm of social intercourse rather than overt deception in the name of pursuit of romance. Use the ring to become comfortable and unaware of 'doing what you do' so, when interacting with women without it, you will still be and feel the same. I tried this after my exW and I split up and found, over time, that it didn't matter whether I was wearing a wedding band or not. The interactions were the same. What had changed? Me, the person. The ring now resides in my jewelry box as a reminder of one era of life. Well, a large part of me feels like it's a waste to go after "romance" anymore. I feel like maybe I should just try to hook up with a girl in order to get her to fall for me (or not). And maybe then I'll be not as frustrated and angry at everything dating related. Again, just some random musings. I may or may not actually put them to work.
dasein Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 And, no, it doesn't mean that "they are capable of lying about most anything." I think it does. I think people lie all the time. Maybe I watched too much "House." I already said I understand why women do it earlier in the thread, but also don't believe the old ruse that there are hordes of menacing men running around who would harrass women who tell them "I'm not interested," but would suddenly "give up" if told "I have a BF," or if they see a ring. The tiny percentage of men who do harrass women don't care about BF lies or false rings.
Author spinaroonie Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Agree, the "stranger danger" paranoia with girls in America is excessive. From the way some of these girls go on you'd think there was a rapist lurking on every corner. American guys are generally very decent and courteous towards women in public, moreso than mostly anywhere in the world. Some of these girls should spend time in Italy where girls are whistled at, honked at, and groped mercilessly.
Author spinaroonie Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Agree, the "stranger danger" paranoia with girls in America is excessive. From the way some of these girls go on you'd think there was a rapist lurking on every corner. American guys are generally very decent and courteous towards women in public, moreso than mostly anywhere in the world. Some of these girls should spend time in Italy where girls are whistled at, honked at, and groped mercilessly.
Jono85 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 (edited) not trying to be a dick, or hatin or nothin, but okay so u got the girls number. which is still a hell of a lot better than the alternative. but ur chances of sleeping with this girl (which includes relationships, etc) may have gone from 0% to 5%. i don't consider myself a player whatsoever. my 'number' is under 10 and i'm 26, which i would think is on the low end compared to players. that being said i've probably gotten over 75 numbers in my day (and this is obv only counting 'non-platonic' exchanges...most from my college days). probs over half of those numbers i didn't even call, nor text, it was just a fun drunken night. ie. was either too afraid to face possible rejection when sober, or wasn't confident that i'd even be attracted to her sober, etc. and then there was a good chunk that i actually called/texted and we hit it off well, only to have her flake later. my point is that getting a number, while fun, is hardly anything of significance imo. ie. i wouldnt draw any conclusions from this night Edited November 12, 2011 by Jono85
Author spinaroonie Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Agree, numbers from clubs are only useful for one thing - to reconnect later the same night. Get her digits, text her an hour later with a "where are you?" Have a couple more drinks, dance, and take her home. Otherwise you won't see her again. Numbers from clubs flake 90% of the time. Go for the lay or bust.
Author spinaroonie Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Got the number on Thursday. Follow up texts: Saturday Me (4:09 PM): I just met your twin Her (5:29 PM): I do have a twin, so that's highly possible. Me (6:44 PM): ya you're def the evil twin though. you ever reach muzik? Her (7:22): Nope Monday Me (9:19 PM): just saw a Mennonite on a horse, reminded me of you. how was your day Her (9:21 PM): Haha. Pretty ****ty, I have way too much work this week. Tuesday Me (10:11 PM): hey Drake hater, my friends and I are debating something. you seem smart we could use your input on this Her (11:20 PM): Lol. What is it? Me (11:32 PM): my friends little sister's been with this guy 2 months. shes 17, thinks its serious. wants to get his name tattooed on her arm. what do you think Her (11:34 PM): DO IT Me (11:44 PM): it's more complicated than that hold up Me (11:52 PM): just called. pick up Her (11:54 PM): Haha I pay by the minute, nope. Me (11:58 PM): lol lies. how's your calendar this week Her (12:06 AM): Literally crazy busy lol. 2 lab reports due tomorrow, a midterm thursday, a lab report due friday, and I'm running a leadership conference this weekend. Me (12:16 AM): k busy bee make time for me. I'm free Sunday night Her (12:21 AM): Haha you know I have a boyfriend. Me (12:25 AM): more lies. we'll be discreet Her (12:25 AM): Haha I'm not lying, I told you I had a bf on thursday lol Me (12:28 AM): I'm sure he loves that you give out your number to guys. you can do better Her (12:37 AM): Wow, okay lol. You definitely don't know me or him well enough (or at all) to be saying stuff like that. Me (12:42 AM): you're right, I barely know you but you seem worth getting to know. let's make it happen Her (12:56 AM): Thanks, but to be honest I'd rather not. Me (1:02 AM): k. say hi to the bf for me
Author spinaroonie Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 This girl wouldn't pick up the phone which means I can't smoothtalk her over the phone, so I cut the BS and went straight for the Hail Mary "asking out". She claims she has a bf. I'm sure he loves random club guys texting her at midnight. This is your typical 19 year old club girl attention whore. This is why I don't put much stock in number-closes at clubs, either go for they lay that night or bust. Club skanks are like this, they'll give out their number because they like the attention/validation of getting constant texts from random dudes (even while in a relationship!). But they're not serious about hanging out. I'm not going to waste time sending cutesy texts to feed her ego; if she's not serious I won't expend my energy chasing. If she really has a bf she's not relationship material. I called her out on it. I want quality girls who don't play games. But because she met me at a club she sees me as the "fun club guy" who she can jerk around (and rest assured she's got a dozen other thirsty dudes that she's given her number out to still hollering at her over text). I'm convinced girls want attention as much as guys want sex.
linwood Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I want quality girls who don't play games. Them why do you play games with low quality girls? Seems kinda self defeating.
Star Gazer Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Got the number on Thursday. Follow up texts: Saturday Me (4:09 PM): I just met your twin Her (5:29 PM): I do have a twin, so that's highly possible. Me (6:44 PM): ya you're def the evil twin though. you ever reach muzik? Her (7:22): Nope Monday Me (9:19 PM): just saw a Mennonite on a horse, reminded me of you. how was your day Her (9:21 PM): Haha. Pretty ****ty, I have way too much work this week. Tuesday Me (10:11 PM): hey Drake hater, my friends and I are debating something. you seem smart we could use your input on this Her (11:20 PM): Lol. What is it? Me (11:32 PM): my friends little sister's been with this guy 2 months. shes 17, thinks its serious. wants to get his name tattooed on her arm. what do you think Her (11:34 PM): DO IT Me (11:44 PM): it's more complicated than that hold up Me (11:52 PM): just called. pick up Her (11:54 PM): Haha I pay by the minute, nope. Me (11:58 PM): lol lies. how's your calendar this week Her (12:06 AM): Literally crazy busy lol. 2 lab reports due tomorrow, a midterm thursday, a lab report due friday, and I'm running a leadership conference this weekend. Me (12:16 AM): k busy bee make time for me. I'm free Sunday night Her (12:21 AM): Haha you know I have a boyfriend. Me (12:25 AM): more lies. we'll be discreet Her (12:25 AM): Haha I'm not lying, I told you I had a bf on thursday lol Me (12:28 AM): I'm sure he loves that you give out your number to guys. you can do better Her (12:37 AM): Wow, okay lol. You definitely don't know me or him well enough (or at all) to be saying stuff like that. Me (12:42 AM): you're right, I barely know you but you seem worth getting to know. let's make it happen Her (12:56 AM): Thanks, but to be honest I'd rather not. Me (1:02 AM): k. say hi to the bf for me Wow, she told you she had a BF, and you really pressed the issue like a total creeper... "Discreet"? "You can do better"? "Let's make it happen"? GROSS.
oaks Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 If she really has a bf she's not relationship material. I called her out on it. Sure she is, for her bf who she seems to want to be faithful to. Sounds like a good quality in a gf. She might not be relationship material for you, but you're not showing any signs of looking for a relationship so how did you reach that conclusion? I don't remember a rule that says that a woman who has a boyfriend can't talk to other boys, and all she's done is talk (text) with you - no flirting, not even initiating those conversations. Not sure that this thread really revealed what was promised in the title. She had one; you got nowhere.
Jono85 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Wow, she told you she had a BF, and you really pressed the issue like a total creeper... "Discreet"? "You can do better"? "Let's make it happen"? GROSS. This. All 3 of those were an embarassing exchange of texts, there was no interest from her. Like I said in my post before, a number means nothing. It's just an ego boost for lots of people. I think if anything you learned the opposite of what your hypothesis here was. That if a girl says she has a bf, you simply move on asap.
stillafool Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Bingo! When I was younger, I would use this line when I wasn't interested. True or not, the "I have a boyfriend" line means "I am not interested" (boyfriend or not). Me too. "I have a boyfriend" definitely means she has a bf or she isn't interested.
Author spinaroonie Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Girls in committed relationships shouldn't be giving out their numbers to smoothtalking guys at clubs. If she's serious, she's a cheating ho. If not, she's an attention whore. Both are signs of poor character. And then there are the girls that lie about being in a relationship when they're not (as a lot of the women here have admitted to). A man can never be sure. Nothing wrong with a guy being persistent if he's looking to hit it, regardless of whether she has a bf. Girls cheat all the time. I have a college girl who comes over to my place for the occasional bang. Her boyfriend still thinks she's a virgin. Only a fool would trust a woman for her word about sex and relationships.
snowflakes88 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 I want quality girls who don't play games. And as the women keep telling you, those quality girls want quality guys who don't play games. A quality guy would have left her alone after she told you she had a bf (won't say I told you so, but alllllll of the women who posted in this thread told you that was a red light from the beginning). And a quality guy would most certainly not have gone there with the disgusting "we can be discreet" after she gave you a clear rejection. If you want to attract quality, you should focus more on being quality. The games and the lame "I met your twin" lines are not going to get you a quality girl.
snowflakes88 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 And to be honest, this was the second exchange with a girl you've posted that's been embarassing to read. I know you consider yourself a smoothtalker with a lot of game, but the exchanges you post make it seem as though you just chase women who don't demonstrate any interest and get shot down.
snowflakes88 Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Oh c'mon ... leave him alone. If you're a guy you know how hard it is to kill that approach anxiety. Nope, not a guy. And I wouldn't give him a hard time, normally... I just think it's interesting that for a guy who claims to know what makes women tick better than women do, he doesn't have a lot of luck.
Author spinaroonie Posted November 17, 2011 Author Posted November 17, 2011 Disagree. There's really no such thing as "text game", you can't build attraction through words on a screen. You can see I tried to get her on the phone to work my magic, but like a lot of young girls she refused to pick up. At this point I knew this was as much as dead in the water. So I went for the Hail Mary and asked her out over text, see how far I could take it. If she says yes, great. If she says no due to an (alleged?) bf, whatever. I cut my losses and run and move on to other bishes in the bullpen. Don't waste any more time texting and feeding her ego. Obviously this girl wasn't ever serious, just fishing for attention and validation. Definitely a low quality ho but there are too many of these types these days.
Ilovewater Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Obviously this girl wasn't ever serious, just fishing for attention and validation. Definitely a low quality ho but there are too many of these types these days. You're not really in the position to judge her as a "low quality ho" since you tried to pursue a woman who already said she has a boyfriend. Whether she lied or not about being in a relationship, it's a reflection on your personality. If you want to find a quality woman, you have to be a quality man yourself....
counterman Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Dude, why waste your time on a girl who says she has a boyfriend? Seriously, you've already put way too much effort into this. It should... Her: I have a boyfriend You: Okay, and move on to the next girl. A quality girl wouldn't test your persistence by saying she has a boyfriend i.e. she won't be playing games. Honestly, what kinda of person who's interested in another would play such a girl? Not a quality one. If she's interested, she's interested. If she's not, she's not. Move on. By the way, texting sucks, call or ask out in person.
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