TheDovic Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Hi guys, I'm curious to know: - How long were you and your ex together? - How long since the break up? - How are you feeling now? My ex and I were together for four years, have been apart for four months and I still feel like there's a massive hole in my life. I am completely miserable and want to know if this is normal. All thoughts are welcome
Buttercup84 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 - How long were you and your ex together? almost two years - How long since the break up? 6 months - How are you feeling now? It would have been our two year anniversary today . I do not know how I am feeling right now . Sometimes I miss him so much I get depressed and don't want to get out of bed . Then I am feeling Ok and do not miss him , it's weird . I am sorry you are feeling so depressed hun . Are you in NC ?
Awarth Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My ex and i are together for 5 and a half yrs.. broken for almost 2 months... still feel like ****..but it is always hard at first...it will get easier as time goes by.. Good luck! we will all get thru this..
shayla Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 - How long were you and your ex together? almost 3 years -How long since the break up? 1 year and 8 days - How are you feeling now? Almost completely healed When I think about everything that happened now, it isn't like a knife sticking in me. And I don't get fighting mad like I used to. I get a little twinge here and there, but I go days without thinking about it at all. There is life after a nasty break up after all
Teuen101 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 it's been done a week, but as you know thats just the end, the brake it's self took a month of slow death mind games. now its over. and I feel so much better things seem better today, sure its on my mind but i think im starting to understand everything. sure she did wrong, but she is only human like me i've blown it before too.. hope she is happy. I hope she heals,
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 - How long were you and your ex together? Together just over 6 years. Lived together for 4.5 - How long since the break up? 35 days - How are you feeling now? Happy, confident, strong. I still cry and miss him. Bedtime and mornings are hard, but I feel like I found myself again. Don't get me wrong... I would love to reconnect, but I can't force things... so forward I go.
smokey bear Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 together 6/7 years broken up 4 months. Life is back to normal, eating sleeping routines friends etc, but i still miss and love. Feel a relapase though as i was better over month 3 than i am now. I think at some point you hit a brick wall in healing, then go backwards, then smash down that wall and run forwards.
stunned8165 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I'm curious to know: - How long were you and your ex together? 3 years - How long since the break up? 5 months - How are you feeling now? confused. still have a big hole in me because I miss her kids too. I was cheated on and walked away from, kids and all for her boss like I was charles Manson. No contact from her end at all. Miss my little family.
jsd43953 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 How long were you and your ex together? 4 months - How long since the break up? 2 weeks - How are you feeling now? - like a penny with a hole in it. I ve done the crying and the pity party. Now I am more angry, upset, confused..you know the stages of emotions. Its hard to accept something you have no control over especially when you do everything right, but b/c of timing and/or external forces things just dont work out. As they say time heals wounds, time could be what brings us back together. I just hope the hurt goes away more sooner than later. Ciao.
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 How long were you and your ex together? 4 months - How long since the break up? 2 weeks - How are you feeling now? - like a penny with a hole in it. I ve done the crying and the pity party. Now I am more angry, upset, confused..you know the stages of emotions. Its hard to accept something you have no control over especially when you do everything right, but b/c of timing and/or external forces things just dont work out. As they say time heals wounds, time could be what brings us back together. I just hope the hurt goes away more sooner than later. Ciao. You may not have control over forcing the relationship to work, but you DO have control over how you cope, deal, better youself and move on.
mike588 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Hey Dovic. You know my story. I'm 3 months into being dumped and a week shy of that of strict N.C. N.C. has been a blessing to me,,, don't know where I'd be emotionally if I was still talking to her or fed breadcrumbs. Doing such much better and keeps getting better everyday!
M2155 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Together 1.5 years, BU 3 months (may as well say 4 b/c he was so distant) but feels like longer, NC 3 months -3 weeks where I broke it. I can't describe how I feel toward him. I'm not sad or angry but I feel something unpleasant- it's kinda like "how dare you?" and I do not see him as the great guy I once did. That part that does make me sad because I know he's a better person that what he showed me so that is disappointment. I haven't had to see him and that is my saving grace. I'm feeling way better than I did in the earlier days. I still think about him but make an effort to avoid anywhere I may see or hear about him (we're still linked on twitter which was stupid- but at least I waste less time now on twitter!). Putting him in his place (mentally) and doing things with other people have really helped. I'm actually excited to meet someone new in the future and really believe the next guy will be even better. Downside- dating totally sucks! That is a crossing point, because you wonder if you will ever find someone as good as they were.
HonestMan Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 together 6/7 years broken up 4 months. Life is back to normal, eating sleeping routines friends etc, but i still miss and love. Feel a relapase though as i was better over month 3 than i am now. I think at some point you hit a brick wall in healing, then go backwards, then smash down that wall and run forwards. I feel similar to smokey bear, in the way that I fealt great and hit a wall.. Together for 2 years Apart for 6 months now I was doing great, but very recently I made the mistake of eating a couple "bread crumbs" -I replied to a text -I answered a phone call Then days after I saw her with another man So I feel like I was knocked back down and all my confidence/happiness is now rebuilding again..
stillhurt Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 How long were you and your ex together? 2 Years How long since the break up? 9 Months How are you feeling now? Still feeling pangs of sadness here and there, but am no longer at the bottom. I struggled with letting go for too long and was in denial. I know I would be much better off if I hadn't eaten all the breadcrumbs thrown my way though. Grappling with a lot of my own mistakes in terms of post break up and trying to make sure I don't make them again next time around.
Misar7 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Together for 8 1/2 yrs. Been 3 months since the end I feel really down I have days where I do ok..but still cry almost daily over it, still in a lot of pain over the situation and what happened.. also cause of my connection with his family my brother being married to his sister. I am dreading the birth of his baby with that girl! I feel like I can't escape. We been NC right from the start, until October when he got a hold of me to say he needed to see me in person to apologize. Then said he wanted to stay in contact with me..only to then few weeks later say he can't hurt or upset the new pregnant gf so he can't.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 - How long were you and your ex together? We were together a year and a half and each other's first everything - How long since the break up? It has been almost a year since we broke up. We have been on and off contact, but I finally applied NC 6 weeks ago. Have not spoken to him or seen him since. It really does help - How are you feeling now? I feel much stronger, and I am very proud of myself for being able to do this. I miss him everyday and still love him with all my heart, but I am coping better with each passing day. He broke NC the other day. He actually ditched his "girlfriend" and approached me at a party the other day just to ask me my opinion on his music and such. I kept it very short then left him hanging, he just kind of stared at me for awhile. He tried to approach me again but I walked away before he could. I don't know what to make of all this because I was sure he liked that girl, so now I am a little confused and I think about him a lot. I am still going strong though and being positive but I am in no position to want to talk to him...it still kind of hurts. But I am curious as to why he cared so much to ask my opinion and try to talk to me...
betterdeal Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I feel much stronger, and I am very proud of myself for being able to do this. I miss him everyday and still love him with all my heart, but I am coping better with each passing day. He broke NC the other day. He actually ditched his "girlfriend" and approached me at a party the other day just to ask me my opinion on his music and such. I kept it very short then left him hanging, he just kind of stared at me for awhile. He tried to approach me again but I walked away before he could. I don't know what to make of all this because I was sure he liked that girl, so now I am a little confused and I think about him a lot. I am still going strong though and being positive but I am in no position to want to talk to him...it still kind of hurts. But I am curious as to why he cared so much to ask my opinion and try to talk to me... Lots of people turn to their ex when they feel vulnerable. I think it's something to do with feeling secure with that person - a bit like running to mummy or daddy when you graze your knee as a kid. I know I am more likely to think of my exes at times when I feel worried about something. From your perspective, this is a guy who's fresh out of a relationship with that other girl. But you have history and that complicates matters. You're less likely to be cool with having a fling (if you're into flings at all) with him than if he was someone else, but that's what's most likely to be on offer. This is where keeping a distance (no contact) helps to simplify matters.
perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 (edited) Lots of people turn to their ex when they feel vulnerable. I think it's something to do with feeling secure with that person - a bit like running to mummy or daddy when you graze your knee as a kid. I know I am more likely to think of my exes at times when I feel worried about something. From your perspective, this is a guy who's fresh out of a relationship with that other girl. But you have history and that complicates matters. You're less likely to be cool with having a fling (if you're into flings at all) with him than if he was someone else, but that's what's most likely to be on offer. This is where keeping a distance (no contact) helps to simplify matters. I mean he wasn't asking my opinion on stuff that worried him, more like he just wanted my opinion on random stuff like the music he played that night and such. But yea I get what you are saying...To my understanding they are still together, however I question how serious it really is if he is trying to get a hold of me and ditching her. This girl has a history of sleeping around and having a non committing attitude too. I told him I didn't want to speak to him 6 weeks ago and he started crying and telling me that that girl means nothing to him. It was a really emotional goodbye...I definitely do not want a fling, I want a second chance at what we had. However I have a big wall up with him because I refuse to let him play me. I do plan on staying NC just to show him that I don't need him to be happy. He isn't going to call the shots on when we can talk, I am, and I will talk to him whenever I feel like it. I made that clear to him the other night when I declined his attempts to talk to me. Plus NC is making me stronger. Edited November 12, 2011 by perfectlyflawed459
Trovador Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 We were together on and off about a year and a half, broken up for real about four months... total NC for almost four months... I don't know anything about her, she could have died for all I know (and care...) I feel fine, I don't miss her anymore, I don't want to know about her, I don't want to see her nor talk to her... I have been fallen for another woman... life is good...
betterdeal Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 I mean he wasn't asking my opinion on stuff that worried him, more like he just wanted my opinion on random stuff like the music he played that night and such. But yea I get what you are saying...To my understanding they are still together, however I question how serious it really is if he is trying to get a hold of me and ditching her. This girl has a history of sleeping around and having a non committing attitude too. I told him I didn't want to speak to him 6 weeks ago and he started crying and telling me that that girl means nothing to him. It was a really emotional goodbye...I definitely do not want a fling, I want a second chance at what we had. However I have a big wall up with him because I refuse to let him play me. I do plan on staying NC just to show him that I don't need him to be happy. He isn't going to call the shots on when we can talk, I am, and I will talk to him whenever I feel like it. I made that clear to him the other night when I declined his attempts to talk to me. Plus NC is making me stronger. That does sound confusing! He's sort of with her but sort of sniffing around you too, and crying when you point out you're not his girlfriend and blah blah blah. It makes my head hurt so it must be annoying to you too! My ex was pretty much like that. Would give me a sort of booty call, I'd deliberately not rise to it and offer to meet her somewhere public for a chat. After an hour, without any prompting from me, she'd reel off a list of other men she was dating or singles nights she was going to, how it didn't matter and how callous I was (because I didn't get angry or upset - as though I am some kind of marionette and she can pull my strings and I'll dance for her) and blah blah blah. Seriously. Can't these people live happy, meaningful lives for more than a few hours without being attached to someone? And, to me, that's what it comes down to. If they can manage to be single for some reasonable period of time, then you have a chance of reconciliation. I prefer to take my time over big purchases; not feel like I'm in a blind panic in the January sales. You'll meet someone whose on the same page as you soon enough. It might even be him if he makes some big changes in his life and sticks with them, but it will probably be someone else. Take it easy. Life's too short to be fussing and fighting.
betterdeal Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 We were together on and off about a year and a half, broken up for real about four months... total NC for almost four months... I don't know anything about her, she could have died for all I know (and care...) I feel fine, I don't miss her anymore, I don't want to know about her, I don't want to see her nor talk to her... I have been fallen for another woman... life is good... Hooray! :bunny:
perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 That does sound confusing! He's sort of with her but sort of sniffing around you too, and crying when you point out you're not his girlfriend and blah blah blah. It makes my head hurt so it must be annoying to you too! My ex was pretty much like that. Would give me a sort of booty call, I'd deliberately not rise to it and offer to meet her somewhere public for a chat. After an hour, without any prompting from me, she'd reel off a list of other men she was dating or singles nights she was going to, how it didn't matter and how callous I was (because I didn't get angry or upset - as though I am some kind of marionette and she can pull my strings and I'll dance for her) and blah blah blah. Seriously. Can't these people live happy, meaningful lives for more than a few hours without being attached to someone? And, to me, that's what it comes down to. If they can manage to be single for some reasonable period of time, then you have a chance of reconciliation. I prefer to take my time over big purchases; not feel like I'm in a blind panic in the January sales. You'll meet someone whose on the same page as you soon enough. It might even be him if he makes some big changes in his life and sticks with them, but it will probably be someone else. Take it easy. Life's too short to be fussing and fighting. Thank you for your advice Yea he was single for two months, dated a girl for a month, single for another few months, then is now "dating" this girl. He is weird. I don't think he knows what he wants either so that is why I am not sticking around to argue anymore. He needs to figure himself out. It is obvious he hasn't forgotten about me so I should just be happy with that for now. Plus he is 16 about to be 17 and I am only 18 so we are both really young compared to most relationships on here. That might play a factor in thing. I know for sure we both still really care about each other a lot, and the fact that he is still in high school and I just entered college kind of puts a wedge on things too. So many things wrong here Oh well, I have been doing great the past few weeks and will continue to move forward. Only time will tell what happens with him, but now we know he hasn't forgotten me one bit
Lis007 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 If we were together it would be 25 years this year. Married for 20... Its been just over 2 years. I still cry everyday... I can't do NC as we have shared care of the children. I am standing for our marriage and praying everyday that God gives me the strength to be patient.
Rimer Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 If we were together it would be 25 years this year. Married for 20... Its been just over 2 years. I still cry everyday... I can't do NC as we have shared care of the children. I am standing for our marriage and praying everyday that God gives me the strength to be patient. Hang in there
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