findingnemo Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 So you are already in the house? In that case, strike anything I posted before.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 In a divorce, ugly things happen. One partner gets more than the other before a judge settles things. Many times after the judgement, one party (usually the man) gets booted from his home and loses physical custody of his children. Is it fair? Probably novpt but one parent has to have the kids and therefore a suitable home for those kids to live in. That being said, why would you choose to do things the hard and long way rather than the tried and tested way? If your ex partner is metally unstable, why start a fight without protection? With your plan, you could end up looking like a crazy, vindictive, selfish woman. That won't do you any favours in your legal battles. Forcing things to go your way rarely works. As everybody has advised, get what you want using a lawyer. Go to Child Protection Services and complain about your living conditions and they'll be able to help. Thank you for your post, can you please tell me more about this. I was thinking that I am doing the wrong thing as you said. I guess I just have my childs best interest to get home one way or the other on the fore front of my mind. Thanks for your thoughts again.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 So you are already in the house? In that case, strike anything I posted before. No, Im stitting tight in the run down rental, praying to God that he will send me on the right path. I don't think moving in by force is the right answer here. I also feel that living in poverty is better than living with him as things are.
Tiberius Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 How much of your money was in the account? You could tell your husband, if he does not return the money you were the source of, the only course of action left is a divorce which will result in a division of assets.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 Im not sure Tib, has he changed the account to his name only somehow. Im not sure if its fraud with our lending broker. I will find out tomorrow. I have to see him today to drop our daughter off, I thought it would be a good oportunity to go to the house and get my church clothes...or is that acting nuts?
Tiberius Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 No it aint. Why dont you let him have the daughter for extended periods of time, he during the week, you on weekends. If he has to take care of the daughter, he wont get around to drink and such.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 I went to the house yesterday and only took my christmas tree from the garden shed and left no evidence I was there. I discovered hes moved all the hydro pot growing equipment to our big shed out the back as it was locked up and his baby seat was out of the car. There was a can bong on the back table and his partner in crime left his sunglasses and thongs there. I rang the police went to the police. It seems they didnt catch up with him at the other house. I dont know if they have attended yet. Im going back to the house this morning with a police escort to try and prove the abuse in our lives. I want our family home back, Im tired of being a victim continuing to live in his abuse. Say a pray for me Tib, weather you believe or not.
i.bellagardner Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 I think, what you are planning to do is the right thing. You should be the one to adjust not him. His mental illness can't help both of you so it's better to move away from him.
Tiberius Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Well technically if your husband gave him access to the home its legal, but with him not around you should be able to make it clear, that he is not welcome since you are technically a resident still. If you think those people are dangerous and they have the key to the house I wouldnt stay there.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Its been about 7 weeks since we left, are we technically residing there? The pot wasnt there its been moved again, I went there yesterday with the police and checked and grabbed some clothes. When I got came back to my rental (home) he threw all of my things over the fence. I ran the police and tried for a restraining order and failed. I went to the bank today. It seems the only way he got into this financial mess with me is by giving me a house, unless he wants to loose everything. Apparently I signed a line of credit into his name of $170k somehow. (not joint. If it was to be joint we had to be married or the rental property title in my name as well) I obviously didnt understand the paper work, was heavily pregnant with preclapsia. I still dont believe I did this. Thanks Tib, I hope your having a wonderful day. Its 38oC here today with gusty winds!
findingnemo Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Thank you for your post, can you please tell me more about this. I was thinking that I am doing the wrong thing as you said. I guess I just have my childs best interest to get home one way or the other on the fore front of my mind. Thanks for your thoughts again. Fluffy, If your inner voice tells you that something is wrong, it usually is. Listen to it. The tried and tested way to have assets divided is by mutual agreement or by a judge. This takes time. If there is a situation that endangers a child, priority will be given and a temporary order will be issued providing the child with whatever they need. Because of the urgency, you can get this in 48 hours or in a week at most. Your lawyer would have to file an urgent petition for an emergency hearing. If you don't have the money to pay a lawyer, every country almost has a child protection agency of sorts. This is where people report suspected abuse and neglect of kids. Go to them and seek their advice. Your position is simple. You and you child are living in unsuitable housing while the father of the child refuses to relinquish one of the two properties he now occupies. They can get you legal assistance and the temporary order. I'm not sure what country you're in but there always a legal way to deal with emergency situations.
findingnemo Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 Its been about 7 weeks since we left, are we technically residing there? The pot wasnt there its been moved again, I went there yesterday with the police and checked and grabbed some clothes. When I got came back to my rental (home) he threw all of my things over the fence. I ran the police and tried for a restraining order and failed. I went to the bank today. It seems the only way he got into this financial mess with me is by giving me a house, unless he wants to loose everything. Apparently I signed a line of credit into his name of $170k somehow. (not joint. If it was to be joint we had to be married or the rental property title in my name as well) I obviously didnt understand the paper work, was heavily pregnant with preclapsia. I still dont believe I did this. Thanks Tib, I hope your having a wonderful day. Its 38oC here today with gusty winds! You need a lawyer a.s.a.p. You need help with the credit issues and reading more, I think you may have to stop fighting him overtly. He could become dangerous to you and your child.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 You need a lawyer a.s.a.p. You need help with the credit issues and reading more, I think you may have to stop fighting him overtly. He could become dangerous to you and your child. Tomorrow morning I will fight him overtly in the presence of two police officers. I am going there tomorrow with two officers and saying that im picking up stuff, (my house keys so I dont have to access the house through the bathroom window). I am going when he is there and I will ask him to leave. If he doesn't leave I will say I am packing your things (he will probably hung over when I get there early enough as we cant sleep through the heat, and may have possibly suffered from one of his mental health episodes) If he wont leave I will sit there until he does, he will probably start fighting with me, I WILL actually start crying for once. He may even attempt violence but I have the police there to witness. The domestic verbal/physical/locked out of the house/finanacilly? will be evident and I will gain another report. He will probably have his pot around again. (I have two reports this week for it being in the house) This time it will be possession. Wish me luck. I may be unsuccessful, he may not even be home. I might not even do this. Regarding the bank stuff. He cant pay me out as I got him in. (Cant get a loan, plus now has child support) Its give me the house or loose everything. I just let him know that by text, that the way he got in is the way he gets out. Ill try wearing him down as well. Pray for us.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 Fluffy, If your inner voice tells you that something is wrong, it usually is. Listen to it. The tried and tested way to have assets divided is by mutual agreement or by a judge. This takes time. If there is a situation that endangers a child, priority will be given and a temporary order will be issued providing the child with whatever they need. Because of the urgency, you can get this in 48 hours or in a week at most. Your lawyer would have to file an urgent petition for an emergency hearing. If you don't have the money to pay a lawyer, every country almost has a child protection agency of sorts. This is where people report suspected abuse and neglect of kids. Go to them and seek their advice. Your position is simple. You and you child are living in unsuitable housing while the father of the child refuses to relinquish one of the two properties he now occupies. They can get you legal assistance and the temporary order. I'm not sure what country you're in but there always a legal way to deal with emergency situations. Thanks Nemo, that is another avenue I will look at on Monday. I will ring child protection again. Please remind me if I forget to do it.
Tiberius Posted November 18, 2011 Posted November 18, 2011 (edited) I dont see why the police wont remove you if you start a fight. You are already out and set in your appartment. The police will be there and can clearly see you are trying to set him up. I dont know what the legal situation is like in Australia, but you are expecting the law to side with you whatever you do. I know this is how it works in America, if its the same in Australia, then yes, all you have to do is to show up with police and be mad at your husband. If its not the same and he does not do aything the police will remove neither of you and you are back at the house with him. Edited November 18, 2011 by Tiberius
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 So we turned up with the police. We got his pipe for smoking pot. He verbally abused me, and touched me a few times. The police are writing up a report.
Author fluffyfluff Posted November 18, 2011 Author Posted November 18, 2011 I dont see why the police wont remove you if you start a fight. You are already out and set in your appartment. The police will be there and can clearly see you are trying to set him up. I dont know what the legal situation is like in Australia, but you are expecting the law to side with you whatever you do. I know this is how it works in America, if its the same in Australia, then yes, all you have to do is to show up with police and be mad at your husband. If its not the same and he does not do aything the police will remove neither of you and you are back at the house with him. They said all they can do is leave us both there....this time
findingnemo Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 The police think you should both stay at the house? Together? Fluffy, something is bothering me. In one psot you said you wanted him to go to rehab. Is that still the case? That means you care about him, right? I'm beginning to wonder if your attempts to get him caught red-handed with drugs won't have consequences you are ignoring. What is the law with regards to possession? He would go to jail in most places. So is it rehab or jail? Or do you expect a criminal court to force him into rehab? Also, given his temper and outbursts, aren't you inviting trouble with the frequent visits to the house? It seems to me that in your rage you are dead set on provoking him to do something. Also known as entrapment. Is this your plan? I don't think it's a good idea to live with him since he probably sees you as Public Enemy No. 1. Talk to child protection and let us know what options they've given you.
Tiberius Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 They said all they can do is leave us both there....this time See the bright side. He cant grab 2 police officers and slap you with an restraining order just because he happened to meet you in their company either. You want restraining orders and police action to be avaiable on your whim, but if they would be so easy to obtain either, what makes you think you wouldnt be the one now not allowed near the house?
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