mvp418 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Hey guys my first post here. I'm in college and there's this chick that's caught my eye, and sometimes I see her around and notice her looking in my direction (I'm not bad looking and have had both girls and guys compliment me). I have a friend who is a casual friend with her, but can "set me up" with her (I am also casual friends with her roomate, who I think she is pretty close with). Problem is, I'm kind of worried that I'll mess things up and maybe ruin chances for a date, and this makes me reluctant to try to talk to her in fear that I might do something wrong. My friend did some facebook stalking and she seemed like someone really interesting and (though it's silly to say at this point), compatible with me, and so I really don't want to mess anything up if I do talk to her, but at the same time, this anxiety is making me too reluctant to do anything. What do you guys think?
oaks Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Problem is, I'm kind of worried that I'll mess things up and maybe ruin chances for a date, On the other hand, you've completely ruined your chances of having a date if you decide not to even try. Grow a pair and ask her out.
Author mvp418 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Posted November 14, 2011 Good point there. I know people say just act yourself, and if that person does not like you, then they are not right for you. The thing is, I don't think I act myself at times (like I am not a good conversationalist, and so sometimes I'll say things that don't really reflect who I am), and that sometimes I am not really showing what I am like, and I'm worried that this will happen when I talk to her.
insertnamehere Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 There's an entire subset of socially awkward guys who make the same mistake you are making. There is no perfect approach. You can't "get it right", so don't bother sweating that. Women aren't an equation (actually, they are, but it's all variables and no constants!). And every college age guys needs to realize on fact: This is the easiest time in your life to get laid. College is a ****ing wonderland. Most of the girls at any time seem to be unattached (or at least not overly attached). They're far away from all the people who used to judge them. There's a nearly inexhaustible supply of them. To not get laid in college is simply an indefensible personal failure. That so many college kids manage to never find anyone is astonishing to me. I miss college. College was so easy it caused my sexiness to atrophy. It took me years after college to develop any real game again.
Author mvp418 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Posted November 15, 2011 I think there are some girls that if I ask out, they would probably say yes right now, but I am not really physically attracted to them. I've kind of set a standard for myself (it's not some supermodel level standard either), and I really want to stay above that standard. I'm not a bad looking guy, and I think that if I date someone who I am physically attracted to as well as having matching personalities, I just think a relationship would work out a lot better. As for hooking up with college girls, first of all, I'm not very good at that (or I don't think I'm very good). Like sure I don't mind going out to a party or a club, but I don't really know what to say in those kinds of environments. Maybe it's because I'm not really comfortable in those environments, but I feel like I am much more comfortable meeting girls outside of those environments. Also, it seems like the complications involved in hook ups are kind of difficult to deal with, such as the day after.
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