Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 And how did it go? I ask because I'm expanding my horizons and dating men unlike those I've dated before, and learning a ton in the process. It's a trip, but a really fun one.
USMCHokie Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I don't think I've dated enough to actually have a "type"...how does one develop a type anyway...? Do you see it more as an ideal we form in our minds or a pattern of who we tend to date...?
cerridwen Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I've tried dating far, far from my usual type and it's never gone well, RS. In a few instances, it resulted in friendship. In others, keen dislike by the end of the date. Whereas my type is more Zach Parise, I've tried dating a rocker, a sensitive tattooed artist, and a angry NY intellectual. Two were very nice people but in the end, there wasn't enough common ground. I'm glad you're learning more than I ever did from the experience.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My (new) husband is very different from my former usual "type." I have never had a relationship with a guy who was not tall and physically imposing. My husband is … kind of petite! He does have some features that I always dig a lot, like very nicely developed forearms and strong, chiseled looking hands. Anyway, I am very attracted to him physically even though he is so much different. Of course, my usual type was never an "old" guy, either, since I got together with my ex husband when we were in our 20's. No doubt my current husband had a similar experience with me!
2sunny Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 young! ahaha - not dating per se' just playing a bit... but - i'm getting away from considering dating the "beautiful" men - i've had that realm my whole life - and that ego and need for attention bores me at this point... and the other women who chase such outside beauty is mentally draining - useless in fact - for intimacy.
Cee Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I've dated outside type quite a bit with mixed results. I've dated men much older and younger and it's gone great. Different race and religion (as long as secular) has worked too. I've dated men from other countries and had a great time although it didn't last long. But anytime I date a person of differing values or ethics, it's gone poorly. However, I did have a relationship with a conservative Republican. The only reason it worked is because we were great friends with mutual respect. And it's been 20 years since it ended and we still grab lunch and reminisce on old times. I think it's fine to do casual dating with anybody who holds an interesting conversation. There are 7 billion people with unique stories on this planet so go ahead and have fun. However, I think you need some common ground for a long term relationship.
Woggle Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My one FWB was different from who I am usually attracted to. I am normally into Italian and Latin types and she was a fair skinned blonde. I am also normally into fun and passionate women and she was as cold as an ice pop. I also had a few dates with a woman who worked on the 2004 Bush campaign and was active in the NJ republican party. Despite the difference in views she was actually pretty nice.
dasein Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 A sea monkey, she got all old and dried up though. It was a girl in the 90s who was the archetype of a hipster. She should have been with a tortured artist sensitive type. She used to call me a yuppie despite my being from a plain middle class background and abhoring the corporate workplace. She said anyone who ever wore a tie was a yuppie, LOL.
daphne Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 The 26 year old former Navy Seal. He had the best body a man can hope for. But that's never been my type. At least he was smart too.
somedude81 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My type is women, so no, I've never dated outside of that type.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I don't have a type, but I have a list of what I don't want. I have never been able to feel attraction towards guys that are: very fair (and I mean extremely blonde/pale, light brown hair is OK) short and petite bald obese
tigressA Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I 'dated' a guy--he was more FWB--who was pretty different from my usual type. Tall, fair-skinned, bright blue eyes. Sort of awkward, a very talented musician/singer/producer. Conservative Christian (I'm liberal Agnostic). I thought he was an unappealing geek at first but then once we hooked up I was hooked. Despite our differing values we got along really well. I was pretty obsessed with him for 2+ years. Now I can't see how I ever liked him that much.
threebyfate Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) An actor to the degree of an STR but his lifestyle would have been terrible for me. He's far more emotionally volatile than others I'd dated before. A lot of fun and a great guy. He's still a friend of our family. I should add my husband. Never dated a lawyer before and avoided them like the plague for romantic relationships even though I have some lawyers as friends and business contacts. So I guess it's good to expand your horizons. Who knows what might happen! Edited November 11, 2011 by threebyfate
somedude81 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I 'dated' a guy--he was more FWB--who was pretty different from my usual type. Tall, fair-skinned, bright blue eyes. Sort of awkward, a very talented musician/singer/producer. Conservative Christian (I'm liberal Agnostic). I thought he was an unappealing geek at first but then once we hooked up I was hooked. Despite our differing values we got along really well. I was pretty obsessed with him for 2+ years. Now I can't see how I ever liked him that much. Why'd you hook up if you thought he was an unappealing geek?
tigressA Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Why'd you hook up if you thought he was an unappealing geek? It was my first impression of him. We met through mutual friends and he would flirt with me; my friends would point it out and all I'd say was "He's awkward!" Then one night we were all at a frat party, we got drunk...you can guess the rest.
Citizen Erased Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My husband is different. Probably why he is my husband and not ex.. I seemed to go for rather thin, pale guys with not much brains. Thankfully I came to my senses.
Ilovewater Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Personality-wise, I don't think I've ever really dated out of my type. I'ved been fortunate in that aspect. For physical appearance, my current boyfriend is different from my original type. I'm naturally attracted to tall men who are slim-tone. My boyfriend is only 5'7", so he's only about an inch taller than I am. I don't really care though because he's thoughtful, sweet, intelligent, funny, and he makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :-) That's all I care about.
somedude81 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 It was my first impression of him. We met through mutual friends and he would flirt with me; my friends would point it out and all I'd say was "He's awkward!" Then one night we were all at a frat party, we got drunk...you can guess the rest. Wow, somehow I'm not surprised. Something tells me I'm completely wasting my time trying to pursue women and all I should do is try to get them drunk instead. Then after we have sex, she'll fall in love, and then realize how great a guy I really am. And it would all thanks to the alcohol.
Jane2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Well, this will sound really crass, but I've not so much dated away from type as I have dated someone who I actually thought was kind of ugly. I mean, not butt-ugly, but just not all that cute. I was just lonely and wanted company and thought he had a decent personality. But I was never physically attracted enough to be really into him. Hence, I was wishy washy in the relationship (lasted for six months, but we saw each other just once a week, so it wasn't intensely involved). Other than that, I haven't really dated outside of my type too much. But then again, I have about three or four different "types" that I go for, so I've had variety in the sense that I have more than one type.
Negative Nancy Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 i'm normally into types like this: http://picupload.org/i/003e5bca82f8.jpg but i once dated a long-haired dude with a potbelly, and i was so madly in love, i would've married him, i think. he just had an awesome personality, was fun to be around, yet knew how to act like a gentleman. he was not my usual type, yet I was a 110% attracted to him and at that time he was the most attractive man in my eyes.
lostcharm Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I don't really know WHAT my type is but I guess my ex would be. He was bald, drank like a fish, cussed like a sailor, tattoos all over and was an atheist.
OliveOyl Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My BF is not my "type." I go for slightly nerdy, musical, mathematical guys who are very good with words and very witty. My BF has a good sense of humor, but is not intellectually witty; he is not nerdy, nor is he mathematical. We are getting along great. There is just something about him. Maybe it's pheremones... I really don't know. But just being in his presence makes me happy. No talking needed.
RecordProducer Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 You can expand your horizons in certain ways, but only in the context of prejudice. In other words, you may lower your measurable criteria and actually meet people who suit you better. For example, if you're an atheist scientists you might exclude religious, non-college graduates - but among those people you may meet someone who'd make you really happy. However, if you strongly care about things like sense of humor, mutual interests, emotional warmth, high moral values... do not compromise on those qualities. Those are the core traits of your personality, your needs, stuff that makes you happy. Another very important thing is how much appreciation you receive: if your partner doesn't have the equipment to register your qualities, you will feel like they're being wasted. Or even worse, some people envy their partners for having certain highly valued qualities, and they pretend like they don't exist. It's not unheard of men NOT acknowledging their wives' talents (from cooking skills to brilliant minds) and those women living miserable, unrealized lives, craving appreciation. My $0.02: NEVER EVER go for a person who is not your equal in all major aspects. Don't think that someone who is "less" than you will love you more than someone who is "better" than you.
bardo Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 well i had never dated a blonde guy with blue eyes, until this year... ( not because i avoided them, just because it never worked that way ) turned out the blonde one was the first and only guy ive ever loved. he was amazing. everything different to what im used to... but perfection. too bad he had to move away.
Eeyore79 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I've dated outside my preferred type in terms of looks, and I've also dated men from different countries and backgrounds, and from different age groups. It was never a problem - our reasons for breaking up were more to do with personality clashes and behavior. So I'd say that some superficial things really don't matter that much if you like someone. When relationships have been a complete nightmare, it's because I've dated outside my preferred type in terms of personality. I'm quiet and intellectual, and one of the worst relationships I had was with a rough, uneducated man who just didn't fit with me at all. One of the most boring relationships I had was with a genuinely nice but dull man with whom I had absolutely nothing in common. So I think a lot of what constitutes a "type" is somewhat irrelevant - the key thing is whether you're compatible in terms of personality and interests.
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