candid_xo Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 So I've posted in this thread before. My story is that I dated a guy 3 1/2 years ago. I broke his heart and when I tried to apologize after realizing what I had lost, he wanted no part of it. I've been trying and trying to get over him, but havent been able to. At first I was wondering if I should message him, since I had seen him in school, but he hadn't seen me. Just to see if after 3 1/2 years maybe he doesn't hate me. Well, today, we saw each other. I walked past him twice before finally finding a seat a few yards away from him. He got up from his seat looked like he was going into the building, saw me & came my way. I saw him and said hi and he gave me a kiss on the cheek, I was on the phone with a friend, but he stood there for a couple of seconds after me saying hi. It seemed like he wanted to talk, but I had no idea what to say. We also walked to the parking garage at the same time, I didn't speak to him then because I was in a rush. I feel like I should've /could've done more. Should I start up a convo with him next week? Or just wait for him to come up to me again? From a guys perspective (and girls) what do you guys think he was thinking or what should I do?
othersideofthepillow Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 im a man.....HE WANTED YOU TO TALK TO HIM!!!!! thats why he stood around while you were on the phone. im guessing he wanted to see if you would end your convo to talk to him as well - so sry you didnt win that one lol. what you need to do is talk to him (no need to wait for a certain time like next week - if you see him tomorrow - talk to him then). you havent gotten over him in a long time so you def still have strong feelings for him. you will NEVER know what he is thinking/wanting is you dont talk to him....so DO IT - - - - you NEVER KNOW ----maybe he hasnt gotten over you and wants to try again! best of luck and keep us posted!
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Okay othersideofthepillow... here is my question for my situation.. My ex and I are on a "break" after 6 years relationship. We work together, so I keep it LC instead of NC. He has to walk by my office to leave the firm. Anyways today I was reading something on my computer, he walked out and kind of hoovered until I turned too look. He was there what felt like forever, so I finally turned and he made some small chat and then said "Okay, have good night Chels". I knew he was there when he first came out, but I am trying to keep it LC.. but he would't move on. Same thing?
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 candid_xo, I think you probably should have talked to him... after all that is what you wanted. It's been 3 years, strike up a condo. You've already ignored him twice, he may now think you are being rude or not interested.. it's been 3 years. I am not saying anything will happen in the form or reconciliation, but after 3 years and you not saying boo after he kissed you on the cheek... if I were him I think I would be offended. lol
othersideofthepillow Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 ChelseaLS....in my opinion, your situation is kind of similar to that of candid_xo. It sounds like since he was standing there for a long time he wanted to make sure that he would get the chance to have some sort of conversation with you at the end of the day. Also, from his closing statement it seems as though he may have wanted you to say something else to keep the conversation going but not appear over eager or needy. he will more than like do that same thing again or what a few days/weeks to do something like that again to see what your interest level in him is. If i were you, i'd decide what you wanted out of the break and than discuss it with him. if you both think it best to move on that nc should be made and the healing should begin....BUT if you decide that it is worth working on, than thats what needs to be done.
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 ChelseaLS....in my opinion, your situation is kind of similar to that of candid_xo. It sounds like since he was standing there for a long time he wanted to make sure that he would get the chance to have some sort of conversation with you at the end of the day. Also, from his closing statement it seems as though he may have wanted you to say something else to keep the conversation going but not appear over eager or needy. he will more than like do that same thing again or what a few days/weeks to do something like that again to see what your interest level in him is. If i were you, i'd decide what you wanted out of the break and than discuss it with him. if you both think it best to move on that nc should be made and the healing should begin....BUT if you decide that it is worth working on, than thats what needs to be done. Thank you. I value the opinion of men, as we women are wired so differently. Anyways, we both agreed to take this break after 6 years. I moved out. I would like it to work, but also know that the only way for it to work is to step back and take this break. We have both agreed to reflect back on our relationship in a few months. I told my ex that if he wanted to court me again before those few months were up, that, that would be lovely, but we will have to start from scratch... forget any past issues, arguments ect. He knows what I want out of this break. Now the ball is in his court. I want him to be happy and I would prefer that he be happy with me, but if he finds he is happy elsewhere then thats what needs to be done. He has reached out to be about a week ago and asked me to come over and watch a hockey game with him. That was after 3 weeks of LC (we work together).
othersideofthepillow Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) hey not a problem. glad i can offer some insight from a male point of view. would you mind looking in and giving me your thoughts on a me and my situation with my ex? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t303293/ (about a week ago we had text conversations / she misses the dog we "had together" and what not - than had 2 days of texting with reminding each other of all the good times we had together during our relationship - and now for the past week she has gone completely silent). its seems to me like he needs to do some soul searching and this break should allow him to do that. also the fact that he has reached out and wanted to see you is a good sign as well! thanks in advance for your thoughts on my post as well! Edited November 11, 2011 by othersideofthepillow
Author candid_xo Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Ok so I finally got the chance to speak to him, we joked around and reminisced on some things. I had to go meet up a friend so before I left I told him I usually go to this bar and I told him to bring his cousin and come. He gave me his number. So I texted him saying I was definitely going and he said he would try to make it. I told him to let me know and if not I'll take a raincheck. Last night he texted me saying he had a paper to finish and his cousin didn't want to go, so to have fun and he finished off by saying "Raincheck!" Yes, I am one of those girls that dissect everything. So now, that I invited him out and he couldnt make it, should I wait like a week or 2 for him to invite me out some where?
westrock Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 What's your motivation here? Are you interested in just getting closure or are you interested in getting back together with him? If it's to get back together with your ex, that's your choice, but it's only fair that you first officially end your relationship with your current boyfriend that you posted about in your other thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t307300/ You may have already checked out emotionally and mentally, but you should still properly end it. Otherwise, people will see this as an example of a woman lining up her next boyfriend before ending with her current boyfriend.
Recommended Posts