elizabeth26 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I'm having a verrrry bad day. I just found out my ex of 7 1/2 years is moving in with his girlfriend (the "friend" he cheated with and left me for) right down the road from the school I work at. FFFFFMMMMMMLLLLLL. I am so depressed to drive past on my way to work and have no idea what I should do. This girl keeps trying to weasel into my circle of friends and posted on a friend's wall (who I work with) that she should come over and check out "the new place". I f-ing balled my eyes out last night and feel about as horrible as I did when he told me he was going to be with her. I am still sick at what they did and am trying to come to terms with my life as it now is. What the heck am I supposed to do?!?!? I finally felt like I was getting what I wanted out of my personal, well, work life and now I feel like it's been ripped away from me AGAIN. I've recently broken up with my last boyfriend and am feeling pretty crappy about that also, that and I turned 25 this month. I'm just feeling reallly damn insecure right now I guess. Any suggestions as to what I should do are welcomed, has anyone been in this position?
flitzanu Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I'm having a verrrry bad day. I just found out my ex of 7 1/2 years is moving in with his girlfriend (the "friend" he cheated with and left me for) right down the road from the school I work at. FFFFFMMMMMMLLLLLL. I am so depressed to drive past on my way to work and have no idea what I should do. This girl keeps trying to weasel into my circle of friends and posted on a friend's wall (who I work with) that she should come over and check out "the new place". I f-ing balled my eyes out last night and feel about as horrible as I did when he told me he was going to be with her. I am still sick at what they did and am trying to come to terms with my life as it now is. What the heck am I supposed to do?!?!? I finally felt like I was getting what I wanted out of my personal, well, work life and now I feel like it's been ripped away from me AGAIN. I've recently broken up with my last boyfriend and am feeling pretty crappy about that also, that and I turned 25 this month. I'm just feeling reallly damn insecure right now I guess. Any suggestions as to what I should do are welcomed, has anyone been in this position? for starters...block the bitch on fb. also if your friends aren't aware that it bothers you for her to be in their life, tell them, and if they don't care, then block them too. life was much simpler before facebook... and can you find a new route to work?
Author elizabeth26 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Hahaha! Yes, life was way simpler before Facebook... I can find a new route to work but they drive by my work alot, he honks when he goes past if he sees me. He is trying to be "friendly". She on the other hand is a cunt. She goes to sees this friend I work with, mostly to get under my skin I'm sure. I will block her though that is a good idea.
flitzanu Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Hahaha! Yes, life was way simpler before Facebook... I can find a new route to work but they drive by my work alot, he honks when he goes past if he sees me. He is trying to be "friendly". She on the other hand is a cunt. She goes to sees this friend I work with, mostly to get under my skin I'm sure. I will block her though that is a good idea. also ask yourself...what are you gaining by being friends with him? either he is intentionally trying to get under your skin, or he's ignorant enough to believe things don't bother you. we guys can actually be dumb about those things...but most guys and girls both know JUST what they're doing to another person.
wilsonx Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) =( It hurts and it sucks, there's a lot of great information on this forum on dealing with this type of breakup. You need to start focusing on yourself and your happiness and not worry about other people, your ex, his friend gf or whatever they are. This video is so true and has helped me cope with a situation similar with yours. I watch it every morning. Really listen to it. Really listen to what Rocky Says Find stuff that makes you happy, find stuff that makes you great. <---- I promise you this is the key to getting over this, once you see and accept it, which takes time, its a straight shot to the rest of your life Edited November 10, 2011 by wilsonx
Author elizabeth26 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Thank you both, I know "friends" is not something I want to be, I was "ok" when they were away from me but I am still really f-ed up from what they did. I went from thinking I was getting married to being asked to 'please move out quickly'. I'm the least confrontational person I know and I know that saying or doing something isn't going to make me feel better or help me heal in the long run.
Author elizabeth26 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Wilson, thank you for those posts and that video. I'm really going to put more effort into what I do to find my happiness. I am one of those people whose happiness is tied to people around me, I am very fiercly loyal and that's why it has been so hard to take in. I can't tell myself they are just scum, or that I am completely blame free. I know that is not the case. It really sucks to deal with these feelings again but ignoring wont fix them.
RIO5 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I wouldnt pay attention to facebook right now. Its not good for your mental health. If you broke down once, I dont see why it cant happen twice. I stress this to you...whatever you do...do NOT let your ex or his new toy have any power over you. Hide your emotions about how you feel towards them. Do not show any weaknesses to them! Taking a new route to work is silly; you are demonstrating that they have power over you. For example: them being together and being close to your job has 'forced' you to find a new way to work. Again...thats very silly. You should do this: talk to your ex and if he brings up about him moving...ask him if he needs any help and you will swing by! (I know what your thinking, 'its stupid' but hear me out) If you do something like that, you would be showing that his new relationship has no affect on you whatsoever PLUS it would be a slap in the face to his new girlfriend(trust me, she wouldnt like you helping out). Hopefully you will feel better. Plus...25 is still VERY young!
ChelseaLS Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 life was much simpler before facebook... and can you find a new route to work? Hear, hear!
Author elizabeth26 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Thank you Rio, IDK if I'm ok with calling him though. I have been breif and blunt with any contact we've had. He got mad at my Dad for sending him a nasty email and I told him to not call me again. I called him when our dog died (he didn't bother to let me know) to tell him I was really sad to hear and to find out what happened. He is "sorry" and said he "will always be there to help me out" but the idea of calling him...it makes me want to throw up. I'm not the "rub it in your face" type of person, but she is and it is really getting to me.
raymondebontrager Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I'm having a verrrry bad day. I just found out my ex of 7 1/2 years is moving in with his girlfriend (the "friend" he cheated with and left me for) right down the road from the school I work at. FFFFFMMMMMMLLLLLL. I am so depressed to drive past on my way to work and have no idea what I should do. This girl keeps trying to weasel into my circle of friends and posted on a friend's wall (who I work with) that she should come over and check out "the new place". I f-ing balled my eyes out last night and feel about as horrible as I did when he told me he was going to be with her. I am still sick at what they did and am trying to come to terms with my life as it now is. What the heck am I supposed to do?!?!? I finally felt like I was getting what I wanted out of my personal, well, work life and now I feel like it's been ripped away from me AGAIN. I've recently broken up with my last boyfriend and am feeling pretty crappy about that also, that and I turned 25 this month. I'm just feeling reallly damn insecure right now I guess. Any suggestions as to what I should do are welcomed, has anyone been in this position? how sad to hear about that....It better for now is to move on so that you could forget those pain you feel..try to hang out with your friends or a new date wiith a another guy.
Lowib Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Hey Elizabeth, I can imagine how you are feeling right now. I just recently went through the same exact thing. It hurts so much but, there is hope. I'm 25 too and I know how it feels right now to be alone. Were not old, but were not young either. Please don't let this girl get to you. Just stick with the attitude that you don't care and you will start to believe it. It's one of those situations you'll never come out the winner. Just do what's best for you and you'll be fine
Author elizabeth26 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Thank you Lowib, I think you are right. It's hard to ignore someone that drives by and honks at you though, I have a seething hatred for the girl, she knew us for 7 years, almost the whole time we dated, I actually called her out and asked her if she would call me and explain what the hell happened (at the time). He was a sleaze for sneaking around with her and tries to act like he wants so much to be friends with me again. What the heck is he playing at? Why would a guy try and keep an ex girl in his life after screwing around, especially given the circumstances? Guilt? Boredom? What gives???
Recommended Posts