cracker2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Just wondering .. What makes people not trust their partners? Is it self confidence, or because they know their partners have cheated before, or have you cheated before etc etc? Just asking because I have issues with trust and can't understand why.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 There are a number of different kinds of "trust"--can I trust this person with my intimate disclosures? Can I trust this person to give me the benefit of the doubt when either a negative or a positive conclusion has to be chosen? Can I trust this person to use good judgement in other regards? And among others, there's can I trust that this person really cares for me and will not cast me aside when someone else comes along who tickles her or his fancy in the moment? Do you have problems with all these trust issues? Or is it just the one about abandonment or disloyalty? If that is just the one, there should be two things: recognition of your predisposition, and two, whether this person has shown you any reason to worry. If it's all you, you can work on it and resolve it in several ways. If there's truth to the other person's disloyalty, then that will probably complicate your ability to resolve trust issues. You should pobably not involve yourself with that person and definitely not use them as the standard by which to measure others. Good luck.
Author cracker2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I was dating a guy for 12 months- long distance. I had problems trusting him. We kissed when we were 15 and he went off with my best friend one night. We weren't friends I knew him through her actually. Anyways we never were in contact after that and fast forward 15 years and we get in touch again via facebook and started dating and fell for each other, but I have always doubted him. Never had concrete evidence he cheated but sometimes got a feeling he did by things I seen on Facebook. He always denied of course. We broke up last mont and I'm heart broken. I hav a feeling he is seeing a girl but again no concrete evidence. The thing is I don't know are my instincts correct or am I just super paranoid, which I know I am about a lot of things.It's killing me that I can't find out, if he was faithfull or is he with this girl.
cdm369 Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Sorry for your issues. Sadly most of the team someone who cheats wont confess even if you have the evidence. As far as what gave me trust issues I was cheated on in my marriage. Before that I was a trust freely never doubt kind of guy. I never once thought about non-trust before that event. We tried again years later and trust was very difficult at first and then down the road a light I caught her in made it almost impossible. Having said that in a long term relationship after that with another woman and didn't have the trust issues. Mine were caused by that event. Trusting someone that hurt you like that is possible but very difficult.
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