Junkshakemail Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I have been dating my gf for 3 months now, at first I didn't notice her strong body odor but now it's driving me crazy. I am a clean person who can't take bo or bad breath which I keep up. I thought she was just having a bad day so it didn't bother me as much even when we have sex though she doesn't smell down there but we went or a movie yesterday with my friends and all I could smell was her bo. I tried to put it gently telling her I want to be open and honest and first asked if she didn't like any thing about me, later I told her that the perfume she wears is not that good ( she didn't get the hint) I just came up and told her that she has a strong scent and after a long pause she said she had to go. I tried calling her today and texting and later she finally answered and she is like that was way to honest and people don't discuss that even if it bothers them and that I felt she smells (all I said was she has a strong scent) and now she is like I used to feel really comfortable with you but now when we meet I will always wonder what you are thinking. Am I wrong to tell her that she has a strong scent , if she ever told me I would have worked on that, is she just taking it too seriously.
USCGAviator Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You mean she never noticed the clothespin on your nose?? 1
rightfield Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You were not wrong to tell her. She needs to address this issue and possibly see her physician about it. She needs to realize that only someone who really cares about her would risk bringing up the subject. If you didn't care, you would have dumped her and she would have never known why, and she would still have her problem.
LittleTiger Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 If she has strong BO then you had no choice but to tell her. Not only does she need to know for her own sake but your relationship would not survive that kind of dealbreaker in the long run. Talk to her again very gently and let her know it is because you care so much about her that you felt you needed to say something - even close friends don't tend to talk about this sort of thing so who else is going to let her know she has a problem? You could ask her if she wears underarm deodorant. I had a boyfriend years ago who didn't when I first met him and a quick but gentle conversation sorted the problem very quickly. If she doesn't wear it, then she needs to. If she already does, then a trip to the doctors may be necessary. Once she thinks about this a little more rationally she should realise that you have mentioned it as 'an act of kindness' and your relationship will be better for it.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 If she cares for you, she'll try to work it out with you. You had to speak up if it bothered you. If you haven't really been bowled over before, perhaps there's a reason why this occasion was far worse than others. Could she have been wearing something that needed to be laundered? I used to work in an office building where these eastern European women would clean up after work and they had a habit of leaving their uniforms at work and changing into them there and not reeking to their laundry. OMFG did they give off some powerful whiffs! I don't know how they smelled otherwise but their work clothes got awful. There are other occasions I can think of where some girls I never thought smelled had a strong BO on an occasion. One I can think off I consoled at her brother's funeral. She had been crying a lot. I just assumed her emotional state caused her to reek. I didn't judge that she smelled that way all the time and until that moment I missed it. Stuff happens. She knows you had a problem with her on this occasion, it's up to her to do something and see if she's made it right if she cares. We all have our limits.
azsinglegal Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I tried to date a guy who had a strong scent. Maybe it just means your pheromones don't mix well? I moved onto someone else who DID smell good to me, even when he's coated in sweat from the gym.
D87 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I tried to date a guy who had a strong scent. Maybe it just means your pheromones don't mix well? I moved onto someone else who DID smell good to me, even when he's coated in sweat from the gym. x10. Some of the best sex I've had with my gf's was after we came home from gym covered in sweat and got super horny off each other's smell. If you don't think your girlfriend has an arousing natural smell, you're just not that into her. Every person has a distinct natural smell, which is part of attraction.
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 So she has b.o...Honestly I don't think there's anything wrong telling her. She needs a good deoderant that works well, and maybe she's one who sweats alot, and should shower daily. Better you telling her than a co worker or a school mate. THOSE become real issues later life, there's nothing worse than working with someone who smells, has b.o, bad breath etc.. She hopefully will work through this and not take it so personally.
Forever Learning Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You should explain again, either in person or via email or text or whatever means, just communicate that you care for her and in no way want to hurt her feelings but felt you had to mention this to her. It's not something you should put up with and suffer through. Absolutely not. The good news is, there are solutions. I have very strong under arm odor if I don't take action to deal with it. And no, I do not have the same problem with my nether regions. It is only my underarms. I eat alot of spicy food and I also love curry and Indian food, this may have something to do with it, or it could be a natural tendency for me. It wasn't so bad in my twenties, it started to increase (underarm smell) in my mid thirties, I would guess. ( I did alot of research on this by the way. And yes, my pits would stink worse in stressful sitations, even moreso than just from working out. There must be a stress hormone involved somehow, for those of us who's body operates this way). Here's a GREAT solution (the ALL TIME BEST SOLUTION, IT IS FANTASTIC): Baking soda. I put STRAIGHT BAKING SODA under my armpits. It completely neutralizes all smell, and it works for up to 3 days. I use it every day, but I only mention, if I were to miss a day (even if I shower but miss putting on baking soda), the baking soda that was absorbed residually from the prior day stilll works to cancel the odor. I don't know why this is, but I have read other accounts on the internet about it too, other people had noticed the very same effect on them, several days worth of 'no smell' from one day's use of baking soda. I am simply saying, baking soda works. My neighbor first suggested baking soda, because he is a homeopathic naturalist type all knowing guru and he advised me to stop using regular deoderant which contains aluminum, since I have had cancer in the past, and aluminum is not healthy for the human body and may cause cancer. So anyway - here is how to use the baking soda. Wet the underarm area SLIGHTLY. Pat a thin layer of baking soda all over the armpit area. It should dry within seconds, because the skin shouldn't be very wet at all when you pat the baking soda there. The only problem I ever experienced was an occasional rash there, and this is due to shaving and having perhaps an small cut which caused skin irritation from the baking soda. Another option - hand sanitizer. Oh yes, it works miracles as well, and can last for 2 days as well. Anyone should give it a try. Either of these methods work great (baking soda is slightly better). I have also read that witch hazel or straight rubbing alcohol works as well, just F.Y.I. This problem is so easily solved. Hang in there with her and keep communicate to her that you care about her and just wanted to get this out in the open and resolved. Tell her a (formerly) stinky arm -pitted girl on the internet wants you two to work out, and she gave you all these tips, - or print this out and give to her. If you two can get to a place where you can communicate on matters such as there, you are on easy street and the rest is gravy down the road! LOL There are answers to most all of life's problems with a little thought and communication. If only everything were as easy to solve as stinky armpits. God bless and all the best to you both.
Forever Learning Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You should dump the stinky stinky...why don't you get a girl that smells nice?...i love when girls smell nice..like bubblegum.... You have posted negative remarks on this thread twice now. Your goal here is to spread negativity. Not solve problems. You are a troll.
SingleinSouth Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 There is such a thing as prescription antiperspirant. It is called drysol. http://www.buydrysol.com/
FitChick Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I cannot wear chemical deodorants so use a deodorant stone, which is all natural. It lasts forever, too.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Wow. I don't think you were wrong to tell her the truth. The thing is.... there is such a thing as too much reality too soon. It can be argued that, her stinking already broke the fantasy that is early dating. That said for the sake of domestic peace you should have just not brought it up or done something else. A more emotionally mature person would have realized that you were doing her a favor. There are pheromones, then there is just funk. There's a difference.
Author Junkshakemail Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Thank you every one for replying. We spoke about this again today she doesnt get it that its her bo which smells, just to compromise I said may be its her perfume and she agreed and she is going to change it (hope it makes a difference) Now she is like I dont know if I be comfortable like before around you and its going to take a bit then she goes on to say that this topic is too personal to discuss so I didnt want to suggest her a deo or show her your reply (Forever Learning) LOL thanks though for your suggestions, I dont understand how so since we have sex - should'nt that be. Oh well at least now she knows about it now.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Ask her honestly, let's say you had wicked bad breath but wasn't aware of it. Ask her how she would handle it, what her approach to you would be. You two want an open and honest relationship, to talk about anything and everything, even if it needs to be said. Sure it hurt her feelings, but that's life. Smell IS important and if she needs to be told to wear deoderant, then so be it. Let's hope it's her just her perfume and not really b.o..Though b.o is hard to miss.
Dust Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Give me a girl with a strong scent any day if that scent is her. The smell of creams, shampoo, and perfume just doesn't do it for me like a girls natural scent. I think you were pretty rude.
Negative Nancy Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 no, you're not wrong to tell her this, and i would not be mad if u told me something like that. she is probably embarrassed, that's why she reacted that way. it should sort itself out soon.
Emilia Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Thank you every one for replying. We spoke about this again today she doesnt get it that its her bo which smells, just to compromise I said may be its her perfume and she agreed and she is going to change it (hope it makes a difference) Now she is like I dont know if I be comfortable like before around you and its going to take a bit then she goes on to say that this topic is too personal to discuss so I didnt want to suggest her a deo or show her your reply (Forever Learning) LOL thanks though for your suggestions, I dont understand how so since we have sex - should'nt that be. Oh well at least now she knows about it now. It's a tough one to deal with when you are on the receiving end as you want to impress your SO not repulse him but these things happen. You weren't wrong and it's probably not the last time you have a conversation like this with someone you are seeing. It does require a certain amount of maturity to talk about things like this, fingers crossed she gets over it quickly.
Forever Learning Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) There is such a thing as prescription antiperspirant. It is called drysol. http://www.buydrysol.com/ I only want to mention I noticed this product is 20% Aluminum, the main ingredient, which many people are now avoiding use of due to it being thought to be toxic to the body and possibly causing cancer. I only mention since I have previously had cancer, which is why I no longer use deoderants with aluminum. ( I also no longer cook with non-stick frying pans and instead use cast iron. I avoid aluminum cans and heating and freezing foods in aluminum foil where possible.) It all depends how radical you want to get of course. I did call Arm and Hammer Baking Soda Company a while back to see if their baking soda contained aluminum (there was a rumor circulating that it did). Their customer service spokesperson stated this particular question about aluminum was now their primary inquiry from the public and that their baking soda does not contain aluminum. I cannot wear chemical deodorants so use a deodorant stone, which is all natural. It lasts forever, too. I have used a similar product in the past, it was a salt crystal you would wet and rub under the arms and let dry ( I used a hair dryer to speed up the process). It worked to a good extent (say, 75% success) but I only want to mention baking soda works at 100% complete smell cancellation for me. It also dries in just a few seconds, no hair dryer required. Same for hand sanitizer, dries quick under the arms, and has about a 95% success rate on smell elimination. Now I know the concept of hand sanitizer used under the arms to stop B.O. is a strange one. I only read about it on the internet this year, tried it out, and by God it does work. It is a great thing to know in a pinch too if you run out of deoderant. Just some observations from my experience. Edited November 13, 2011 by Forever Learning
Forever Learning Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Give me a girl with a strong scent any day if that scent is her. The smell of creams, shampoo, and perfume just doesn't do it for me like a girls natural scent. You make a good point. I like the scents of the body as well. I only mention some solutions for when it smell gets out of hand and offends others. Particularly in work situations where you don't want to offend others or stand out as the stinky one coming down the hall. In more personal situations I like to get a good whiff of the one I love and get high on it. People have different preferences and at 3 months of dating if her smell is too much for him then communication is in order to rectify the situation if everything else is going well and the only problem is the B.O. It's just way too simple a problem to rectify to break up over. Too bad our western culture has conditioned so many folks to be uber hygenic and shun the pheromones. I think pheromones rock and like to get my fix of them whenever I can. Its a fine line sometimes and to each his own.
ErgoStep Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Am I wrong to tell her that she has a strong scent , if she ever told me I would have worked on that, is she just taking it too seriously. In a relationship it hurts to receive negative vibes from your partner. Personally, I would have skipped a few showers and see if she noticed. WE are stinky is a better conversation to have, than YOU are stinky. 1
D-Lish Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 You were not wrong to tell her. She needs to address this issue and possibly see her physician about it. She needs to realize that only someone who really cares about her would risk bringing up the subject. If you didn't care, you would have dumped her and she would have never known why, and she would still have her problem. No.... She needs to take a shower or a bath every day. She needs to switch up her deodorant, or start wearing deodorant. I used to work with a girl, and I could smell her vagina from a foot away. I'd use the bathroom after her and my gag reflex would kick in. She just didn't pay attention to her hygiene. There are many people out there that simply don't pay attention to hygiene. If OP was bothered, it's fine he said something. I brush my teeth several times a day (I carry a toothbrush in my purse). I may not wash my hair every day- but I bath 2-3 times a day and use a dry shampoo that smells like a tropical dream. Smell and attraction go hand in hand. He handled it in a good way, and he's justified in saying something to her.
Million.to.1 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 I brush my teeth several times a day (I carry a toothbrush in my purse). I may not wash my hair every day- but I bath 2-3 times a day and use a dry shampoo that smells like a tropical dream. shower 2-3 times a day? Brush your teeth several? WOW. I'm sure you smell absolutely lovely D-Lish but that does seem slightly excessive though. OP.. I think you maybe need to be specific with your GF. Saying you have a weird "scent" may have made her think that it's the natural all over smell of her that you were talking about which she can't really do anything about. Everyone has a unique smell which is a combination of all sorts of things on/in our bodies. B.O is very specific and can be solved. I would mind less if someone said I had strong B.O sometimes than if they said they didn't like my scent. I'd be embarrassed, sure, but at least it's something i could make an effort to keep in check. If someone doesn't like my "scent" then they don't like me. I can't change my scent. It is all about pheromones. I stopped dating a guy because his feet smelt so bad. Even with shoes on. It was such a turn off. Ewww.
Author Junkshakemail Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Here is the update. I met her yesterday after the whole thing and........ she didnt smell of her BO just a invigorating smell - holy she smelled really good and the highlight was she bought a new lingerie to show off for the night HAHA worked out really well , thanks guys
Kamille Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Great update. Glad it worked out. I was just going to say: So far, you say she had bo twice in three months. That's not really a "bo" problem. That's just time to suggest getting kinky in the shower. Also, I think it's great you broached the subject - and couldn't help but laugh when you reported she used to feel comfortable with you but now thinks she'll b wondering what you're thinking. Sounds to me like she has nothing to worry about... If there's something on your mind, you're obviously one to speak up!
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