Psychology behind this

[BrokenFool]

Ladies and Gentlemen

I was wondering the following , if you had a ex whom you had blocked on facebook and whatsapp and had just gone through 8-9 months NC with why would you keep them blocked

 

For all intents and purposes even though I am blocked on my ex's facebook account , all it would take is the creation of a new account and boom i could search for her , granted i wouldnt be on her friends list but im not on her friends list on my profile anyway

even with whatsapp she has blocked my number but all i would have to do is buy another sim and then whatsapp her

but i havent

despite knowing her mobile numbers i havent called, havent texted , nothing

so why would you still keep someone blocked knowing they havent troubled you anyway

is it

 

1 - anger

2- stubborn

3 - by unblocking its like your sending a message that i want you to contact me

4 - by not unblocking me it shows i still matter to her

 

Second Question

 

I have in this period of NC had the following

- private number calls where when i finally decided to pick up the person on the other end listened to my voice then hung up

- a text from a number i didnt recognise pretending to be some girl i had met i just didnt reply

- facebook friends request from people i dont know again didnt accept

- her changing her facebook profile pics to things i like or pics i took , in 3 years she never changed her profile pic much and in the last 9 weeks she has changed it 9 times to pics of her almost like shes been trying to say to me look how long my hair has grown, look ive had a bob cut etc

 

would really appreciate somebodys opinion on this, dont worry i am not going to break NC and it doesnt hurt as much as when i first came on these forums but i wanted to see are the things above classed as breadcrumbs or are they more subtle than that

for example one day i wake up at 10am and have 7 missed calls all private number , half a hour apart starting at 07.56 - i know its her but if i contacted her she would deny it

 

a friend of mine said now its been 8-9 months and the adrenalin of the break up has worn off she is wondering wheres my little puppy dog who used to follow me and jump whenever i asked

 

or am i seeing too much into things

 

look forward to your replies

 

thanks guys

[smudge21]

You're looking into this too much and need to back off, otherwise you will start over analysing every single bit of info until it drives you nuts!

 

Yes, very probably it could be breadcrumbs, ways to test you out, see how you'll react (and you definitely are reacting). Or it could be that she's screwing someone totally new who happens to like the same things you do and all the other stuff (like unknown contact) could be something totally different. Either way you should stay away and try to ignore it.

 

I hate stuff like this and understand how annoying it can get. The fact is though, you don't know why she's doing any of this, and therefore you should just walk away from it. If she wants to make contact, then she will. If she doesn't, then she won't.

 

Don't let stuff like this set you back. Keep moving forward.

[M2155]

Definitely looking way too much into this.

 

To your first question, I don't go looking through my blocked list to see who I should unblock. It just doesn't dawn on me. The purpose of blocking is because you don't want to see them so after any period of time you forget. Thank God there is no FB notification that says "people you have blocked"

 

The second part totally doesn't matter because if someone really is doing all those things then it's pretty childish. Could be an ex, could be a friend toying with you, could be a wrong number, who knows? If someone really wants to speak to you, they will like a grown up. Otherwise, they really should stop wasting their time if they are doing stupid things.

[geegirl]

I have some people blocked because I don't want them to see me nor do I want to see them.

 

As for the second part, it's nothing but childish behavior. An adult will make proper contact. Anything other, is just mind games. Breadcrumb or not, it's not worth paying any attention to.

[BrokenFool]

Smudge - thanks for your input and M2155

I agree maybe I am looking too much into this but not from the angle of wanting to be with her again or wondering what shes up 2

purely from the view that I would at some point HOPE that I will get an apology from her or some form of contact to validate that I am not this worthless person whom despite loving her unconditionally for 3 years was dumped and ignored point blank like i was nothing

i agree with you guys points but let me please just explain one fact

i have had my mobile number for 8 years never have i received private number calls , all of a sudden in April after 4 months NC i get 7 private number calls the times were something like

07.56, 08.23, 08.24, 09.01, 09.35,10.01,10.02

now nobody who is giving nuisance calls would start ringing as soon as they woke up and then proceed to call every half hour

or call on that particular day then not ring again for a few weeks

no job person, agency, etc would call at 07.56

or call so many times and NOT leave a voice message

so i KNOW it was her

and hence why I am trying to work out whats her game

[BrokenFool]

geegirl - thanks for your input, yet another legend from loveshack whos opinion i value giving her input

i understand what blocking is for but at the end of the day she removed me from her friends list so i cant see anything anyway

and in regards to blocking she could either make her profile private so i couldnt search for her

or i could just open another account and view her profile pic anyway

and like i said she has put up pics which are deffo in my opinion trying to get to me

she is either

1 - scared to contact me because she burnt a lot of bridges last time and wonders if i am with anybody else or would even talk to her again

2 - playing games for her ego

 

i would just for closure like to know in my mind which one it is

[geegirl]

Broken, pull up your initial thread on LS "What did I do wrong?"

 

That was in February of this year. She was playing games then and 10 months later, she is still playing games.

 

Again, go back and read the thread and subsequent threads and ask yourself if you have anything to show for in analyzing her behavior for the past 10 months. You'll probably say you have nothing. Why? You cannot decipher nor comprehend someone of this nature. She was stringing you along then and who knows if she is doing it to you now. What we do know is that you have spent way too much time, 10 months later still looking for closure and still analyzing mind games.

 

If she is doing #1, then you have to ask yourself if she is someone you really want to be with. Look at her for who she is and not by what you feel. If you've forgotten how badly you felt about her treatment to you, I suggest you refresh your mind and ask yourself what you will be accepting back, if she came back. What you would most likely get, is a repeat of behaviors and patterns from the past. Game playing.

 

If she is doing #2, which is most likely, then it's just selfish on her part.

 

Whether it's #1 or #2, your closure should come from within. And that is you will not settle for someone who strings you along nor for someone who is selfish and playing ego/head games. Both should give you closure.

 

PS: You do not need validation from her. You know your own value and your worth. And why would you expect an apology from someone who cannot act with decency? What would an apology mean from someone like that? You need her to validate the R, so that in your mind your will believe that you meant something to her. That it was not all for nothing. Understandable, but please don't hold your breath.

Edited November 10, 2011 by geegirl