funnyface Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 We broke up almost 3 months ago after he treated me like crap. He got a new girlfriend (mutual friend/acquaintance) a month after we broke up. They are already serious. I knew about it, saw pics of them, etc. I have been doing well and thought I was totally over it! I got a new job that I was so excited about, focused on me. The first few times I went on their facebooks, I cried... then I got better and better, until, no tears. I was like, "YES! Finally getting over this ******* and his psychotic new girlfriend!" Then I check today and saw new pics... of them together while she was visiting him in California (oh, she is also moving out there soon, for him). I lost it. I rushed to the bathroom for, what I thought I never had to do again, a cry-in-the-bathroom-stall-until-I-can-somewhat-regain-composure-before-I-go-back-to-work session. It was horrible. Frantic texts to my best friends: "I hate him. I hate how he feels no guilt or shame or bad feelings and I am going through hell. What did I do to deserve this???" I felt like crap all day long. I talked to my mom and tried to make her understand: its not that I want him back. I have realized him for what he is now: a smooth talking, alcoholic loser with no degree, no money, and no prospects. I feel so down because I let myself believe his lies. That he so easily replaced me, and went on his merry way, playing the victim... while I have wondered this whole time what I did wrong, cried, screamed, and made myself practically insane over this breakup. It makes me feel down that he clearly does not feel remorse, or guilt, or sadness, or pain.... (ESPECIALLY guilt, after all of the things that he promised me, and is now saying to her).... but he was the one who dragged me through hell. I just don't get it. Its very, very frustrating, and it pains me that what he does is still a constant thought in my mind. Its almost 3 months since we broke up... half the time we were together, which I've heard is supposed to be when you get over the person. Well, clearly I'm not. I guess it scares me and angers me. Just one of those days I really needed to vent...
wilsonx Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 You have got to block them and let go... when you overcome this, you will be so strong in the long run. Theres a saying its Buddhist. "To Let Go is To Love Yourself" and its absolutely true. Look at you right now, you are insecure, which by definition means you have not let go. Do things and find things that you love doing. You found a good job, GREAT! But it doesnt end there, keep going and dont stop ever. Always challenge yourself if you run out of goals, make new ones, that do not involve relationships with other people. Also learn to stare rejection in the eye and not care which way an outcome turns out, good or bad. Once you do this, you will be so much happier with your life
Author funnyface Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Thank you so much.. once again, your advice is spot on. I made the decision to finally unfriend him on Facebook - that was big for me. But it felt very good to finally be rid of him in every aspect of my life. Since I read your advice yesterday, I have felt so much better. Hopefully I can keep it up.
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