Sunnysuperstar Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I met my ex online 13 years ago. He lived in AZ, I lived in CA so we never met in person but we had a great connection right from the start. We talked on the phone, e mailed or IM'd for about 4 yrs. then we both ended up in serious relationships so we lost touch for about 7 yrs. In January'10 I found him on facebook, sent him an e mail & we re-connected. 2 weeks later I flew out to AZ to meet him for the very first time, we had an amazing time, the connection was still there only now it was better because we were intimate. For the next 8 months I would fly to AZ every 3 weeks to visit him or he would visit me in CA. Then we decided to take it to the next level so I chose to move to AZ. We loaded up a U-Haul & drove 13 hours to Phoenix & had a blast the whole way. He was stuck in a lease for 4 more months so I put my stuff in storage until we moved to a bigger place. For the first year of our relationship my ex called & texted me all the time just to say hi, tell me he missed me, loved me, etc. he was very loving, affectionate & couldn't keep his hands off of me. So we were finally able to move into a bigger place & within a month things started changing, he was getting distant, less affectionate, stopped texting/calling me, had sex less, it was obvious that his feelings were changing. I asked him if he would be happier if we ended our relationship & I moved out, he insisted no, that's not what he wanted but wouldn't do anything to make our relationship better. We eventually did break up 4 months ago but are stuck in a lease until Feb'12 so we have just been making the best of it. It sounds like a horrible situation but we remain good friends. We have 2 bdrm/bth but still share a bedroom & sleep in the same bed. We do not have sex. He still hugs & kisses me when he leaves in the morning. Every time I talk about moving out, he gets very upset and says he can't imagine not having me in his life and is so scared of what's going to happen when our lease is up. Why would someone not want to be with someone but also not want to be without them? I know I just need to leave and will as soon as our lease it up. but I'm just so confused by his
Eddie Edirol Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Youre not confused, you just dont want to leave. As long as you stick around when he tells you to, he doesnt have to change either. You dont need to wait until the lease is up, just get out of there, and end the limbo. Let him handle the rest of the lease by himself, since he doesnt want to tell you why he lost his attraction to you..
Author Sunnysuperstar Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I didn't say I was confused whether to stay or go. It's obvious that I need to leave that wasn't my question. And I don't expect him to change, people do not change. What I am confused about is why someone would no longer want to be in a relationship with someone else but at the same time be so adamant about not wanting them to move out either. Most people want to just move on. It just seems to contradictive.
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