jlola Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Just a quick question. I do not have children,but I have heard babies change a lot in their first year. I have a friend who has a baby under a year old. Her husband is very Nordic with blond hair blue eyes. She has dark hair and eyes. The baby has dark hair and eyes also, but his lips,ears and curly hair resemble features of her best friends husband. The smile is so dead on that if you put pics side by side and make them the same size the resemblance is uncanny. Baby also has facial expression that mimic best friends husband. The two couples go away together alot. Sometimes sleeping at each others home. Can it just be a coincidence? I know most babies do not have to look like parents. But to look like a friend who is always around must be unusual.
Author jlola Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I care because though I did not mention,the best friends husband happens to be related to me,far cousin. This has happened in my family before and I see the pain it causes.I am hoping this is just a stage the baby is going through and I am wrong. My mother says the most painful day in her life was when grandmother pointed out the neighbors child and the resemblance struck her so much she almost fell to her knees. The child, my half sister was a dead ringer for my father and she could not deny it. My half-sister ended up doing the same thing to her husband who's doctor brother suspected and took nephew for DNA. The fall-out for that was beyond tragic. Hoping this is just a fluke.
Lucky_One Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I'm feeling sorry for that poor man, to be so young and have no teeth, a squished-in nose, and a round fat face. Back to the original post - babies change a LOT, and their looks are determined by DNA that goes back generations. Trying to start gossip or question paternity simply because YOU don't think that the baby looks identical to a parent is an injustice to the family and to the child.
Author jlola Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Who says I am starting gossip? I have not mentioned it to anyone nor do I intend to. If I was going to start trouble would I not be asking people in real life instead of a message board?? I would NEVER think to confront anyone. It is just that looking at the baby is bringing back memories of what can happen if this is true.
findingnemo Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 It is possible that the baby's dad is her H's best friend. But you really can't tell that at this stage. As the baby grows, it's features will change and reveal more. Someone talked about gossip and you were offended. As a mother, I can't imagine dealing with such an accusation. It is devastating whether true or not. I would suggest keeping your suspicions to yourself until the child is 3 or 4 years old. If indeed the child resembles his best friend, the "father" may notice this himself. In fact, it is likely to be the OMW who notices it. Whichever the case, all hell will break loose and it won't be your doing. For the sake of the family, assume for now that it is not possible. The truth will eventually come out.
Author jlola Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I am not getting involved at all. So that is not a concern. It is not my right to get involved. I agree with you that the best friend (wife)will probably notice if that is true. I truly hope I am wrong but the expressions and features are so alike it is like looking at a double and I really would feel so horrible for the baby especially. If the person the baby held such a resemblance to was not in such close proximity I would not have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remember my mother saying half-sister was spitting image of my father. He denied it for a year. He finally fessed up. I just hope so much i am wrong and the baby will morph into looking like his father.
findingnemo Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I am not getting involved at all. So that is not a concern. It is not my right to get involved. I agree with you that the best friend (wife)will probably notice if that is true. I truly hope I am wrong but the expressions and features are so alike it is like looking at a double and I really would feel so horrible for the baby especially. If the person the baby held such a resemblance to was not in such close proximity I would not have this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remember my mother saying half-sister was spitting image of my father. He denied it for a year. He finally fessed up. I just hope so much i am wrong and the baby will morph into looking like his father. Me too. Otherwise there'll be the destruction of 2 families.
Discjockey80 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 What does your gut tell you? Reason I ask is that knowing this world today and what goes on this would not be uncommon in this type of instance. Couples always going over and staying at each others homes is a recipe for disaster eventually. Especially when it involves alot of traveling togeather and/or going out on the town. Example- My friend is married to a girl who when we all first met, intially wanted me. (We laugh about it and there isn't anything there anymore.) She used to be very flirty with me. (Interestingly, we all met at the wedding of another set of friends who happened to proposition said friend and his wife to 'swap' one night. Thats a whole other story) This friend of mine would often ask my wife and I to stay over at their place alot early on when we were all dating/engaged years ago after being out and/or having somedrinks. In the spirit of safety of course. But we only live about 10 miles away and I or my wife was usually at least able to drive and get home safely. Often this staying over would have been 'not planned' or very spur of the moment. Now, while I am sure nobody meant anything (at least outright if at all) doing that numerous times over and over given some of the interactions between us and past 'crushes' (in my case-said friends wife), it probably wouldn't have been a wise thing to do. I wouldn't want to jump to any conclusions either, with a baby this early on. But it wouldn't surprise me unfortunately. Note- I am not trying to infer that everything in life is one big orgy but sexuality is very powerful and often causes people to do things or at least make decisions that they wouldn't otherwise logically do.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Let them figure it out. If you've noticed the resemblance, I'm sure they have as well. Right?
frozensprouts Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 i've got three kids. the oldest and youngest look very much like me and very much like each other( but different eye colors). my middle kid looks totally different from my husband or myself...turns out, she gets her looks from my biological parents ( i think, as the little bit i know about them sounds like she looks very much like my biological mother) goes to show that even in the same family, you can't tell by appearnaces.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 i've got three kids. the oldest and youngest look very much like me and very much like each other( but different eye colors). my middle kid looks totally different from my husband or myself...turns out, she gets her looks from my biological parents ( i think, as the little bit i know about them sounds like she looks very much like my biological mother) goes to show that even in the same family, you can't tell by appearnaces. This is true actually. My neighbours kids, 3 of them look so similar, dark hair and then there's a blonde in the mix. Lighter skinned too with freckles.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My parents both have dark hair and green eyes, I have the same (darker eyes then both of them actually). My brother and sister are both fair-skinned, light-haired my brother has blue eyes and my sister has light green eyes. They are both definitely my father's children.
Art_Critic Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 This is true actually. My neighbours kids, 3 of them look so similar, dark hair and then there's a blonde in the mix. Lighter skinned too with freckles. I agree... my kid looks like the UPS guy and doesn't look a thing like me and I know he is my kid..
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 I agree... my kid looks like the UPS guy and doesn't look a thing like me and I know he is my kid.. ..........
Author jlola Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 I understand babies do not have to look like parents and often do not. Many look like grandparents or even like nobody but themselves. The concern was how uncanny it looked like someone who is in just close proximity. A friend of mine who's father was the only one born with pitch black hair(which later turned to blond) in a family of blonds was teased for being the milkman's son. Now everyone knew it was a joke. But now if he was milkman"s minie-me, well........ Don't think it would have been that funny. Don't anyone worry. I am not saying a word. My lips are sealed!!!!
sexual chocolate Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 My friend's baby looks a lot like me and I know his wife really well. And I mean really well. Who cares? According to an anonymous genetic study performed a while back, about 20% of men are raising kids that they didn't father. It's a risk you take when you get married as a man. The presumptive father (husband) is still responsible for the child, regardless if he's the biological father or not. (Lord Mansfield Rule)
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