micahsmommy12 Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 This is so embarrassing...but I'll be honest. I think it's about time I was honest with myself. 1.) Had no job....for the past 7 years. 2.) lived with his mother, conflicting stories on whether or not he paid rent. 3.) Had a reputation as a "player" 4.) Has no relationship with his children, and does not pay child support (no job) 5.) Was/is the perpetual victim 6.) Made no attempt to meet my friends, or establish a relationship with my mother. 7.)Spoke horribly of his own mother, but was somehow still a mama's boy. 8.) Dabbled in drugs...which I later found out was a daily occurrence before we lived together, did said drugs with his own mother. Is now living with her again... 9.) Somehow all of his ex's are "crazy bitches" 10.) Would constantly criticize my living/ spending habits though he contributed nothing. 11.) Was caught in a big lie, but I chose to forgive him. Turns out...he was cheating. 12.) He was my rebound, and I wasn't ready He was HORRIBLE! Why did I do this to myself? I know better than anybody, when I don't listen to my intuition....
Surfer Girl Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 Childhood abuse...Not knowing about ex girlfriend he needed to fix....Him getting over ex girlfriend at my expense......After 8 years not getting married... Needing space and what that really met....Me....being so naive.....and blinded by love....learning red flags has given me the ability to learn from my mistakes....
BigDumbFoot Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 This is an interesting thread. There are sooo many redflags that were just so obvious from the very beginning.. But i never really saw them until given the opportunity to reflect on them. Let's see: 1) She had very little interest in sex. Like with other people here, it seemed like it was a chore for her. She would seemed to get distracted a lot to the point of boredom when we were doing it so I couldn't really finish many of the times. Consequently, it was "my fault" for not being able to finish because I found her so "unattractive" (which I didn't at all. I always thought she was beautiful). For some reason, the sex got a lot better toward the end.. 2) There were periods all throughout our relationship where she was just emotionally unavailable, especially toward the end. It was like her mind was always a million miles away from where we were. 3) She was intensely insecure about herself, especially her looks. She was also pretty vain too. She seemed to care more about how she appeared to other people than she did about anything of any real substance. Don't get me wrong, she had a lot of empathy towards people, but that always took a back seat to appearances. 4) We both came from broken homes. I don't know if that's a good combination. 5) She was sexually assaulted in college and never got any real psychological help for it. 6) She was incredibly stubborn and proud. I could never suggest any thing to her without her flat out rejecting it. And she had to do everything her way, by herself, without any kind of outside help or influence. Unless it was like, opening a jar of pickles or something.. 7) She never wanted to be "tied down" to anything. She was pretty against marriage, even though we did start considering it a few years into the relationship. But that went by the wayside pretty quickly. 8) And probably the most obvious red flag: she never kept in contact with ANYONE. Friends, family, ex co-workers. She always figured if they wanted to hang out, they would come to HER. She could never be bothered to initiate contact with anyone. It was always me that was planning all the social stuff with our friends. She never wanted to put any work into that area of her life. Oddly enough, she's doing it now. Since we've broken up, she's all but abandoned all of her old friends (who are mutual friends of ours). Instead she's hanging out with friends of the new guy she's seeing. I wonder how long that'll last, especially after the novelty of her rebound relationship wears off and she can't hang out with THEM either..
fredrickhsalas Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 My girlfriend broke up with soon after a calendar year and a half and a few weeks in the future, she is dating someone else. I would enjoy to have her back but all i can do is wait. Must i apologize to her for how i handled the breakup? I personally thought I dealt with every little thing just fantastic, but I imagine she thinks in any other case. She is acting chilly toward me, acts like she completely hates me even even though I didn't do nearly anything erroneous to her. So is it even worth apologizing to her? Is it heading to benefit me at all? lead to i know that gals like to listen to from us that they have been right and we had been wrong lol. If i did apologize, it would be a thing like this: You need to of felt angry by how i reacted right after the break up. I apologize, it was my fault. I was perplexed and didnt know what to do. It was unpleasant for me realizing that i had misplaced someone incredibly particular and irreplaceable like you. I know there are no words that can make up for how i acted. Although I hope you can forgive me, I do not and can not count on it. I am actually sorry. ya ya ya, it could appear to be cheesy. But i want to preserve the peace between us and potentially have a possibility of heading out with her all over again down the highway if her rebound doesnt perform out. They are by now combating with every single other. whats your impression?
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