onthemend Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 After 18 months or so of being single I have met a lovely man. He is totally suited to me in terms of compatability but the only problem is that he is 17 years older than me. We have slept in the same bed but nothing happened as I can't bring myself to let things go any further. He is really lovely and if he were a bit younger than I wouldn't have any doubts about getting involved with him. Am I being stupid - I am 50 and he is 67. Advice please!
SingleinSouth Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 No, of course it isn't stupid. At a certain point as adults, we don't have "stages" of life that make us incompatible (like 20's wanting children and 40 something not wanting a family). Your ages sound just fine to me, especially if you like him!
azsinglegal Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I'm going to go ahead and say at your age (or really past 40) age doesn't matter. Or shouldn't matter. Why won't you let things go further? Or can't he?
FitChick Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 He probably can't get it up. Some middle aged women prefer that because they have lost their sex drive as well. I think the more important questions would involve his overall health and financial stability. If you get together you are likely to become his caretaker.
geegirl Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 If he is lovely, compatible, treats you with respect, then don't let his age define him. Go for it. Life is too short to let an age gap come in between of what feels right. Aside, why won't you let things go further? Are you afraid he will disappoint?
twister4 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 That'a a tough one. He might get old and feeble and you will end up being the caretaker. But - that might not happen either.
azsinglegal Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 That'a a tough one. He might get old and feeble and you will end up being the caretaker. But - that might not happen either. Pfft...2 words: life insurance
ShannonMI Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 After 18 months or so of being single I have met a lovely man. He is totally suited to me in terms of compatability but the only problem is that he is 17 years older than me. We have slept in the same bed but nothing happened as I can't bring myself to let things go any further. He is really lovely and if he were a bit younger than I wouldn't have any doubts about getting involved with him. Am I being stupid - I am 50 and he is 67. Advice please! Why can't you let things go further? Because of the age gap? Is he physically attractive? Or does he seem "old" to you? If you find him attractive physically and you are compatible, then go for it. Who cares about the age difference.
ShannonMI Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 He probably can't get it up. Some middle aged women prefer that because they have lost their sex drive as well. I think the more important questions would involve his overall health and financial stability. If you get together you are likely to become his caretaker. Yeah he's pushing 70. Can he get an erection? Viagra may be needed if you take it to that level. At 50 women still want to get laid. At least I hope I do when I'm 50.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 If you feel funny about the age gap, you can't change that. I personally think that there is a big difference between 50 and 67. But that's just me.
whichwayisup Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Am I being stupid - I am 50 and he is 67. Advice please! Life is short, you're old enough to know what you like and don't like in a man, so if this man has qualities that you enjoy, treats you well and you're happy, I say go for it.
Author onthemend Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Hi All, Well tonight I'm going to his house for supper. He has asked me if I would like to stay - I said possibly however if I did we wouldn't be doing anything - and I will be wearing my PJ's! He's cool with that (I think??) - the one thing I haven't mentioned is that his last wife (he's had 3) died just under a year ago. She was only 53 and by all accounts they were very happy. I am assuming that there is nothing wrong with the sex side of things as he said he really likes sex - as do I. He's so up for it - he is a man - it's me. Stupid as it seems I'm worried about looking at him naked.......I know I'm not a spring f chicken but well OMG what I don't like what I see. God I sound shallow!!
Feelin Frisky Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 He probably can't get it up. Some middle aged women prefer that because they have lost their sex drive as well. I think the more important questions would involve his overall health and financial stability. If you get together you are likely to become his caretaker. Why say that about him? There was nothing said about sex not happening for any other reason than she hasn't wanted it to. Not every older man has ED and very many can be sexually adept into their last elderly days without ED medication. As for the OP question, you are 50. Has it not occurred to you that life is a forever learning process and you don't get to be pleasantly surprised by anything if you don't accept what's there for you. He's certainly old enough to be reasoned with I should think. Would having sex with him mean you're committing to him in any other way? There's no reason to be "age-ist" about it like the poster I quoted above and assume you'll need to be his "car-taker". My uncle is 76 years old and can kick ass and take names like a 38 year old. Numbers don't mean the same thing to every person. If you like him and he doesn't gross you out, why not live a little?
EasyHeart Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I'd me more worried about him having three wives and the last one dying at 53. Where there any 'mysterious circumstances'??? Did she die shortly after he took out a large life insurance policy on her??? Did she 'fall' down the staircase? YIKES!!!
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 If you feel funny about the age gap, you can't change that. I personally think that there is a big difference between 50 and 67. But that's just me. I could never date someone old enough to be my father... mostly because I can't respect men who are sexually attracted to women who are young enough to be their daughters. If he wants a companion and friend, there is nothing wrong with that. Encourage him to find someone closer to his own age for sex.
OliveOyl Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Don't try to force yourself... but if you're attracted to him... go for it! The idea that most men over 45 can't get it up is about as erroneous as the idea that most menopausal women lose interest in sex. There's a wide spread... for many, of the legs
Author onthemend Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 Hi All. Thanks for all your input. Well we had a lovely evening and chatted about everything - life, love and death. I stayed with him and we just had a quick kiss and a cuddle and that was that. I have no doubt that all would/will be OK in the bedroom dept (not that I had any proof) by just listening what he had too say. He is willing to wait for me as he says he understands my age issue. Apart from the lack of sex we do seem to be in a relationship of sorts, texting chatting on the phone etc....We have many friends in commen, as it turns out but until we decide that we/me are going to take things to the next step we arer not telling anyone including my family about 'us' Do I fancy him??? Well sort of I think. I saw a photo of him when he was younger and he was really good looking. He has a lovely character and that should suffice - plus who's to say he's not going to 'Float my boat' in bed! Anyway will keep you informed!!
JamesTrump Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 it depends on he is wealthy or not, no money no talk:cool:
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