perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I just want some perspectives on why an ex would try to talk to you when you told them you didn't want to speak to them anymore. My ex and I had an emotional separation 6 weeks ago because I found out he had been seeing another girl while we were trying to reconnect again. He was single so he didn't cheat on me or anything but it still hurt. I told him I was done and then he started crying saying that girl meant nothing. I still stood my ground and have been in NC since then, so for 6 weeks. I have been happy and getting myself back together. I went to a part two days ago and he was there with that girl. So I wasn't expecting much but I was saying hi to all my guy friends. Then out of the blue he slowly inches up to me, leaving that chick behind, then tries to start talking to me. I gave him short answers then kind of proceeded to talk to other people, while he just stood there for awhile staring at me until that girl finally came up to him and snapped him out of it. What the hell is his problem? Has anyone else experienced this? I thought he was the one that wanted this and I told him I didn't want anything to do with him...
othersideofthepillow Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) after reading ur situation i can relate a little bit. when i told my ex to please not contact me (she broke up with me) and that if her feelings have changed i cannot talk to her at all. that was about 2 months ago and still she plays games with me. idk why they do this for sure but after doing some reading i think that some ppl are just confused and think the grass in greenier...until they get to the other side and realize its not but are to proud to admit they were wrong. some ppl i think just want to have their own ego stroked and dont give a damn how you feel....btw is that your real pic you posted for your profile? Edited November 9, 2011 by othersideofthepillow
Author perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 after reading ur situation i can relate a little bit. when i told my ex to please not contact me (she broke up with me) and that if her feelings have changed i cannot talk to her at all. that was about 2 months ago and still she plays games with me. idk why they do this for sure but after doing some reading i think that some ppl are just confused and think the grass in greenier...until they get to the other side and realize its not but are to proud to admit they were wrong. some ppl i think just want to have their own ego stroked and dont give a damn how you feel....btw is that your real pic you posted for your profile? Yea it has been 6 weeks since I have seen or spoken to him so it was really surprising. He just simply wanted my opinion on something and he ditched that girl just to ask me. He isn't affectionate with her at all too, like he doesn't hold her hand or hug her. I think it will just eat him as he realizes the grass isn't greener, because usually isn't. I think the best thing to do is to take power into your own hands, because we have more power than we think. If we ignore them, they usually begin to realize that they are losing something great And yes that is my real picture
othersideofthepillow Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Yea it has been 6 weeks since I have seen or spoken to him so it was really surprising. He just simply wanted my opinion on something and he ditched that girl just to ask me. He isn't affectionate with her at all too, like he doesn't hold her hand or hug her. I think it will just eat him as he realizes the grass isn't greener, because usually isn't. I think the best thing to do is to take power into your own hands, because we have more power than we think. If we ignore them, they usually begin to realize that they are losing something great And yes that is my real picture I couldn't agree with you more. It would be nice if people FULLY THINK about the decision to leave someone before they actually do it! Like for me, if i were to break up with someone, that means I can FULLY CUT EVERYTHING OFF from that person and move on and not try and play mind games or try and leave breadcrumbs. In ur situation it really seems like he's just trying to be a "macho guy" and have a new woman already and make you jealous. And just FYI that guy is a idiot to break up with you....you are a gorgeous woman
Author perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 I couldn't agree with you more. It would be nice if people FULLY THINK about the decision to leave someone before they actually do it! Like for me, if i were to break up with someone, that means I can FULLY CUT EVERYTHING OFF from that person and move on and not try and play mind games or try and leave breadcrumbs. In ur situation it really seems like he's just trying to be a "macho guy" and have a new woman already and make you jealous. And just FYI that guy is a idiot to break up with you....you are a gorgeous woman Haha well he is doing a really bad job at it. I have nothing to be jealous of with that girl. She spreads her legs for all the guys, she has slept with his best friend, she smokes herself stupid, oh and everyone found about all that so everyone hates her and thinks she is trashy. Haha isn't she classy? I never understood why he would even want a girl like that...I honestly don't think he is trying to make me jealous, but I wonder why he cared so much to ditch her and come ask my opinion on his music. Kind of weird since I thought that he wanted that other chick. I don't know he is so weird, I can't tell what he wants anymore. But I am staying NC because if anything that will make him miss me more. Although I really do miss him and it was hard for me to ignore him the other night And thank you so much That is very sweet of you to say.
othersideofthepillow Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 lol seems like you are quite quick to talk ill of her. not saying shes not that way at all - she sounds like a "real" catch from the description and hey if thats the kind of woman that he wants to associate with than thats on him. i think that he brought her (cause he prolly already knew your opinion of her) to get a reaction from you and when he didnt really get when he went to plan b and asked your advice. thats kinda one of the signs i hear that a ex may want you back - them asking your opinion/advice still even though they let you go. yeah i know what you mean, idk why my ex acts the way she does know. i try and stay NC but SHE is always the one that contacts me - think the longest without a text from her has ben 10 days since the split....the last time we spoke (through text) it seemed as though she wanted me to "beg or plead or try and talk about getting back together". i told her tons of times that i wanted to and got turned down every time so im done with that. good luck with ignoring him and moving on - hopefully he respects your wishes or comes to his senses and tries to make it work! and your very welcome seems like you got a good head on your shoulders so dont lose that quality!
Author perfectlyflawed459 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) lol seems like you are quite quick to talk ill of her. not saying shes not that way at all - she sounds like a "real" catch from the description and hey if thats the kind of woman that he wants to associate with than thats on him. i think that he brought her (cause he prolly already knew your opinion of her) to get a reaction from you and when he didnt really get when he went to plan b and asked your advice. thats kinda one of the signs i hear that a ex may want you back - them asking your opinion/advice still even though they let you go. yeah i know what you mean, idk why my ex acts the way she does know. i try and stay NC but SHE is always the one that contacts me - think the longest without a text from her has ben 10 days since the split....the last time we spoke (through text) it seemed as though she wanted me to "beg or plead or try and talk about getting back together". i told her tons of times that i wanted to and got turned down every time so im done with that. good luck with ignoring him and moving on - hopefully he respects your wishes or comes to his senses and tries to make it work! and your very welcome seems like you got a good head on your shoulders so dont lose that quality! haha I didn't mean to come off rude, but all the stuff about her is fact. I mean she did get busted for it and stuff and I live in a small town so word spread quick. I use to think she was a nice innocent girl quite honestly, but I guess people change haha. I was shocked when I heard all that stuff about her...kinda sucks on her part that everyone knows about it. That is the crappy thing about small towns Yea my friend pointed that out too...she said if he really didn't care he wouldn't have bothered to ask my opinion and such. But idk I am trying not to read into it too much, I just wasn't expecting to hear from him only after 6 weeks of NC. I though it would take much longer! My friend thought I was a little to harsh with him by blowing him off. She thinks I should have talked to him, but honestly I am not fully ready to face him, even thought I miss him, so I guess that is why I reacted that way. Oh wow! That makes no sense...it sounds like she is trying to keep the door open with you just in case the grass isn't greener. Don't give her that power, trust me, it is a great feeling when you can stand your ground against them. Their reaction is priceless! My ex just stared at me as all my guy friends crowded me. About time things worked in my favor. He needs to realize that he truly threw away something great. I am sure your ex will realize it too in time. Don't worry I am staying classy I am bettering my life and learning to love and find happiness within myself. My confidence has grown a lot in the past few weeks and I have been pretty happy with life. Positive thinking is your best friend in times like these. Onlly time will tell what happens between us, but right now I am not worrying too much about it. I just want him to see that I don't need him to be happy Edited November 11, 2011 by perfectlyflawed459
othersideofthepillow Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 you def right and only time will tell. sadly no one can tell us (dumpees) how long that time will be lol. yeah my ex confuses me still. its been a few months for me since she broke it off and no matter how hard i try to move on there is just something that wont let me.....i guess im just a optimist hoping for the best but i do my best to not let that control my life and outlook. it would be really nice though for once to not have her on my mind for the entire day/night/week. but that in time will fade so i just have to push through. thats great that you have made positive changes and are growing since the break up! i was able to see all my shortcomings i had in the relationship with my ex since the spilt and have worked through all of them and have gotten them corrected for the next relationship i will be in. whether its with my ex or not. i sent you a private message but not sure how they work on here so i dont know if i did it right. if i did and you got it, feel free to respond to it and send me a private message back. keep up the good work though...you are def on the right track!!!!!
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