othersideofthepillow Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) Hey everyone. Its been a while since i posted anything here about my situation but his is a little update and a question or two. Its been about 4 months now since the split. At one point i thought things were going towards getting back (went out to dinner, watch a movie at my place and had a good night) together but than my ex said it still hurt her to much(that i seem so happy without her and that im doing so well without her) to see me in person (i never begged, pleaded, spoke ill about or to her about the split) and that she needs to move on. Now it seems like every 7-10 days she texts me. Most recently, she had text me at midnight (works 3rd shift) asking if everything was ok. i said yes im ok. than she started going in to small talk asking how i am, telling me how much she misses my dog (formerly ours) and how she wishes she could be there to see him grow up. after some more small talk i let her know id ttyl but sent her a reminder of a really great time we had together while we were still together. that led to a lot of "good times" text that went on for about 2 days. now crickets on her end. i know that everyone's situation is dif and with it being four months now...what is she doing? Does she want to get back together and have me initiate contact now? i assume this is all just a game she is playing but a part of me is wondering if she wants me to really push for her back (even though she dumped me). any ideas? Edited November 9, 2011 by othersideofthepillow
geegirl Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Hey everyone. Its been a while since i posted anything here about my situation but his is a little update and a question or two. Its been about 4 months now since the split. At one point i thought things were going towards getting back (went out to dinner, watch a movie at my place and had a good night) together but than my ex said it still hurt her to much(that i seem so happy without her and that im doing so well without her) to see me in person (i never begged, pleaded, spoke ill about or to her about the split) and that she needs to move on. Now it seems like every 7-10 days she texts me. Most recently, she had text me at midnight (works 3rd shift) asking if everything was ok. i said yes im ok. than she started going in to small talk asking how i am, telling me how much she misses my dog (formerly ours) and how she wishes she could be there to see him grow up. after some more small talk i let her know id ttyl but sent her a reminder of a really great time we had together while we were still together. that led to a lot of "good times" text that went on for about 2 days. now crickets on her end. i know that everyone's situation is dif and with it being four months now...what is she doing? Does she want to get back together and have me initiate contact now? i assume this is all just a game she is playing but a part of me is wondering if she wants me to really push for her back (even though she dumped me). any ideas? Some dumpers don't really let go completely because it hurts their ego to not have you there anymore. They keep in contact not because they want to get back together but because they as well fear the fact of being alone and not having someone there to fallback on. You've dug yourself a hole. When you break up, you exit. You don't hang around for a second chance by being "friends" and still hanging out. You detach and heal. You on the other hand played her game of not wanting to fully let go for her own selfish reasons. She may like your company, may use you as a cushion, may like you as a person but just not enough to tell you that she wants to be back with you. What you need to do is tell her you can't do this anymore and that you still are emotional about her and being in contact is not allowing you to heal from the break up. Then go NC. If there is the slightest chance of her coming to her senses and actually evaluating the loss of you and the R, it will be when you are not in her sights. For as long as you are, she will hang you from a string.
nessa944 Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I think u should not answer to her the next time she contacts u so she can really see what it feels like not having you. Give her a chance to miss you
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