yme30 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I met him when I was 16 and never thought of him in a romantic way until I was 25. When we got together I was with some1 else and so was he and as time went on we started to grow feelings for each other. I didn't run to him but he ran to me! At the same time a woman who i have hated forever came around back to our home town. I knew they were friends and i didn't say anything about it but then I started to really look in to it some more! It came out that they were sleeping together and I told him I knew. He said, that it would never happen again and that he loved me more then life and that was in the beginning of our relationship so I forgave hm! As time went on I noticed things. I looked in his phone and saw tex messages from her and from him and I confronted him. That is when I told him it was her or me and if you are with me then you won't talk to her anymore! Well as the years went on he keeps getting caught with the crap. i can't trust him at all! We had an understanding that he wouldn't talk to her anymore. I look through his phone and I see tex messages and went I confront him all he does is lie even though he know's I know????? He know's how much i hate her and he keeps talking to her. He even went as far as making her his daughters godmother!!! He tells me he is going to his friends house and wond up going camping with her and her family for 4th of July! There is more detail though but it would take to long to explain. To top it off!!! His daughters mother was killed so I have been raising this litttle girl along with my son for the past 6 years she thinks of me as her mom! I just don't know what to do anymore! She talks about me online all the time doing everything to piss me off, but I know it's not just her! He adds fuel to the FIRE. I really don't know what to do anymore. If I say I'm leaving he begs me to stay!I have even said nasty things to him to leave me alone but he won't. The sick part is that I know he loves me! That is the one thing in our relationship that I trust him on! crazt right?
TigerCub Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I met him when I was 16 and never thought of him in a romantic way until I was 25. When we got together I was with some1 else and so was he and as time went on we started to grow feelings for each other. I didn't run to him but he ran to me! At the same time a woman who i have hated forever came around back to our home town. I knew they were friends and i didn't say anything about it but then I started to really look in to it some more! It came out that they were sleeping together and I told him I knew. He said, that it would never happen again and that he loved me more then life and that was in the beginning of our relationship so I forgave hm! As time went on I noticed things. I looked in his phone and saw tex messages from her and from him and I confronted him. That is when I told him it was her or me and if you are with me then you won't talk to her anymore! Well as the years went on he keeps getting caught with the crap. i can't trust him at all! We had an understanding that he wouldn't talk to her anymore. I look through his phone and I see tex messages and went I confront him all he does is lie even though he know's I know????? He know's how much i hate her and he keeps talking to her. He even went as far as making her his daughters godmother!!! He tells me he is going to his friends house and wond up going camping with her and her family for 4th of July! There is more detail though but it would take to long to explain. To top it off!!! His daughters mother was killed so I have been raising this litttle girl along with my son for the past 6 years she thinks of me as her mom! I just don't know what to do anymore! She talks about me online all the time doing everything to piss me off, but I know it's not just her! He adds fuel to the FIRE. I really don't know what to do anymore. If I say I'm leaving he begs me to stay!I have even said nasty things to him to leave me alone but he won't. The sick part is that I know he loves me! That is the one thing in our relationship that I trust him on! crazt right? yeah it is crazy, because if he really loved you he wouldn't be doing all this. Honestly I really don't mean to be cruel, but you're allowing all this to happened...so why would it change? you have 2 choices as I see it: A. Stand up for yourself and leave him - and honestly just stop with the excuses about "oh he wont leave me alone", there are restraining orders for that - so that's not an excuse. or B. Make peace with the fact that he will keep disrespecting you and cheating on you and just settle into that life. Think about it - if you have confronted this guy over and over and yet you stay and take it, why would he change? Why? I don't see any motivation for wanting to change, do you? You love him, I get that, but he's not loving you the way he should, so either walk or accept that.
notsure_21 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I think he's sick and just using you as a nanny! You better get out while you can.
2sunny Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 You gave him permission to treat you piirlywhenyou went back. You've trained him to understand you aren't leaving even though he cheats. You have done this to YOU by what you have allowed!
findingnemo Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 yeah it is crazy, because if he really loved you he wouldn't be doing all this. Honestly I really don't mean to be cruel, but you're allowing all this to happened...so why would it change? you have 2 choices as I see it: A. Stand up for yourself and leave him - and honestly just stop with the excuses about "oh he wont leave me alone", there are restraining orders for that - so that's not an excuse. or B. Make peace with the fact that he will keep disrespecting you and cheating on you and just settle into that life. Think about it - if you have confronted this guy over and over and yet you stay and take it, why would he change? Why? I don't see any motivation for wanting to change, do you? You love him, I get that, but he's not loving you the way he should, so either walk or accept that. This sums it up. Let me expand option B. Does he have money? Make it very expensive for him every time you find a text. Don't just get upset. Spend!!! Buy yourself a consolation gift on him. It is possible to stay with a cheating spouse if you admit that you gain more by staying than by leaving. He needs you and his daughter's need for you may be the reason. He probably loves you but is not the monogamous type. So...make him pay dearly for it and get whatever comfort you need. It's the French way of doing things. May work for you. If you can't find comfort in other ways, leave him. Whatever you do, don't spend the rest of your life complaining about his behaviour and wallowing in pain.
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