very confused

[rd1978]

me and my girl have been togethor for 5 years had our good times and bad times,, so anyway she has a jeluoisy of my friends that are girls and the time i spend at the gym at night,, so she kept telling me she was confused on what she wants,,, so finally after she went out 1 night with her friends she told me to call her and we woulc meet up,, well i called she never awnsered, did it on purpose, because that phone is attached to her hip,,, talked the next day and she was mumbling something about a break im really confused and its not fair to u,, so i told her we cant talk then ,,, i fig it would maybe scare her in a week or something,, after not talking,, so anyway she called me 4 days that week and i called her back after the fith,, i never awnsered any of the calls....i called her back and wanted to talk and she sounded upset,, so we ended up talkking on that sat,, and she said she doesnt want to have to worry about anyone ,, she wants to be single if guys ask her to hang out ,, do what she wants,,,,,, so i told her i would get rid of the girls change my hours at the gym, do more fun things etc. etc. so she calls me back 1 hour after the talk and wants to hang out the next day. to see "how she feels",, so anway she had plans with this friend of hers that night ,, so ididnt hang with her the next day after she told me that.. then i told her we cannot talk im not talking to you while your talking to someone else,, so she called me a bunch that week and i never awnsered, then i saw her out at this bar holding hands witht his kid,, he wasnt all that great looking,,, so i let it be didnt say anythign didnt call which was a big step,, then she starts calling again all week lweaving crying voice mails that she wants to talk.... so finally i awnsered and she said she missed me and was really confused and i asked her about ehr holding that kids hand and she said i havent done anything wrong we arent toghethor, well the least she could have dont was not do it right in front of me,,, so her friends are trashy and im sure filling her head with all kinds of stuff and they go out and drink to no end andf act like little whores,, so she wanted to hang out for the wwekend and see what happened, but she had made plans to go to a baseball game on friday night witht this kids and had the tickets for a week,, so i said whatever and let it be,, we hung out and she was letting herself relax we didnt do anything fun just went to get a new cell phone,, and then she called that night wanted to come over with a movie and hang out,, but we didnt it got late,, sun: i saw her for a bit then took her home ,, and she called a bunch and we talked , then that night she calls me and says i cant get into it right now i just dont feel it,, so i said fin but we cannot talk , give it time and see what happens,, so she called and hour mon mornign and night , tuesday morning and night and wensday night , and i never awnsered,, then like 4 of my friends saw her out holding hands witht his guy againon that thursday ,, and she didnt called today its fri,, she started a new job this week where she travels like an hour and she has been up to like 1 everynight this week, out at the bars ,, it seems like she has went overbaord drinking like a fish up to all hours of the night and acting slutty,, i feel maybe she wants to act this way because she didnt when she was younger,,but she NEVER went out during the week she was ver responsable,, seems like she is runnign away from evrything and wants to be different,, i dont know wheter to leave her alon and not talk to her because she cant make a commitment and make it work + i see her holding hands with the kid,, but part of me seems to think she is doing it because i refuse to talk to her ... but i feel if i talk to her im being used as a security blanket,, kinda like cant have your cake and eat it to,, but i dont know how much she likes this kid, its like anything new and fresh its great and i told her that,,,, i do feel if i got her to hang out i could get her to laught and put her wall down and cut the crap ,, but i dont knw if i should giver her the space or talk to her next time she calls and ask her to do something,, i did my best explaing but im sure i left things out

[livnnlrnin]

It really sounds to me like you BOTH could benefit by taking some time apart from each other! Give it some time and space and see what happens.

 

 

Good luck to you!

[rd1978]

yeah i do honestly feel we need this, because we have been togethor so long, and honestly prob need to experience other people , if we are going to ever try and make it work in the future,, i havent contacted her at all she is the 1 contacting me, but when im not talking back tot her it seems like she hang out with this kid alot more,, and goes out and drinks like crazy,, i was thinking ill let her have her fun and realize its not all its cracked up to be,, my only concern is im sure this kid is filling every need i didnt for her,, but things got comfortable and things were taken for granted, and i feel that since i wont talk ot her she is def getting closer,, but it could aslo be semi rebound or something to i know she is def confused and i dont push her,, i just told her we need to make some compromises to make things work, just like she told me 2 months ago,, the fair shot was never given and it almost seems like i wont get it,, she wanted to go away for a weekend and see what happened , i would laike to make thigns like old times when we were giddy and laughed and had fun,, pro like what she is doing now,, im pretty sure she knows its like that hangign out with someone new because neither have to deal with each other's problems and bolth are trying to impress each other,, so i kinda want to know should totaly ignore her if she calls again,, hasnt for 2 days but i think she is running out of reasons ,, or should i sit down and have a heart to heart with her,, the things is she is running off an goign out to the bars every night and being iresponsable,, while starting her brand new job,,,and she told me 2 months ago she thinks she needs some time to think about what she wants,,, but her biggest fear is while she is thinking im going to go off and find someone else then she will be stuck,,so i feel she gave in to this kid and is hanging out with him because its something new and she isnt stuck by herself,, i really wished she would takt the time to think and not run of doing something 24/7 i know she is trying to prove a point to me, and if she sits at home she will call and if there isnt another guy in her life she will call,,, it just always seems with her that,, she can do what she wants but when the tables are turned its not fair for me,, any advice,, i just dont want to lose her forever but i dont know how much i can take ,, im not going to wait around thats for sure