Cupiddd86 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) Hi Everyone, A bit of a history first this is a Long Distance Relationship; I met my girlfriend online and we were dating for a couple of months. Everything was great, we had a real connection and we met a couple of times in real life which made it even better. Until at some point she broke it off saying she couldn't handle the distance. 2 weeks later she regretted the decision and wanted me back; I took her back but it failed again. After that it's been kind of on and off with her telling me at some point she just wants to be friends. So after a couple months of this "just wanting to be friends" I finally told her that I can't do this last week. I told her that I was going to delete her from my life and cease all contact with her because I really love her but I can't just be friends with her. This apparently really came as a shock to her and after 2 hours of talking with her getting really emotional; telling me things like that she was thinking of comming over the entire time, that she couldn't bring herself to deleting me for some reason and that she never experienced this feeling with anyone she asked me if I could give her some time to think. I agreed to this thinking it didn't matter anyway. To my surprise the next day she first started spamming my Skype and after that calling my cellphone. In a nutshell she wanted to get back together. It's been one and a half week since then and we've talked a bit almost every day but it feels there is no real will from her to work on this. I know it's very early. On top of this being a long distance relationship she has a very busy life with work and such. I get to talk to her a bit every morning before she goes to work but thats about it. I would like to talk to her more but I can't. She's ashamed to talk English over the phone in public and after work she's too tired/moody to talk. I'm not sure how I can work on a relationship let alone rekindle the love between us with this. I'm happy with this chance I got and want it to work out. However I am really clueless on what to do now so I'm throwing it out on the forum. I really hope you all could give me some insight. Am I just being too needy/pushy/clingy? Wanting more of her time; considering her replies too short and not affectionate or feeling under prioritized. I am analyzing a lot of things mostly for fear of screwing up.. For example this morning we talked a little.. I feel like i'm doing the majority of the talking and she gives answers; mostly 1 word. Then after a while she has to leave due to work and just closes with "i'm off now, cya!" I'm just wondering, she said she wanted to give this a try and even said she will come over on her days off (whenever those are) but i'm not getting that feeling from our conversations. What should/can I do? Edit: she actually has called me every morning the past week; just before going to work. The tone was really happy and fun, just not affectionate. Just now that we can't call eachother things seem to be really short between us. What I am mostly wondering is how to deal with this short time and limited seeing of eachother we got; how do I work with this? I would really like to thank you for reading this and giving me your input! If you have any questions, just ask. Thanks! Edited November 9, 2011 by Cupiddd86 Forgot very important information!
DustySaltus Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Cupid, isn't it ironic how she said she wanted to move over to you for good ONLY when she realized that she might lose your permanently? That seems a little selfish to me. In my experiences with a LDR a clear plan needs to be in place to make things work. Again, she only reacted when pushed and not because she was really thinking about moving here. I think that you need to disappear right now. Let her know that things are falling back into the same patterns and it's not what you want. Move forward in your own life. If she comes to your house and knocks on your door, then you have something to talk about. Look at her actions, not her words. This isn't someone that is committed to you, which is what you deserve. Read the links in my signature and good luck.
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