Veryconfused12345 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Hi, I'm kind of new to this whole online forum thing so please bear with me, hope I don't ramble too much! To be honest I'm absolutely confused and devastated by a recent breakup and could use some advice/insight. I had been with my ex for about 3 years and was absolutely smitten the entire time that we were together. As cliched as this is, I was convinced he was the perfect partner for me. He was absolutely smitten with me as well and would regularly talk about me being the girl of his dreams. We talked in detail about a life together and were making concrete plans for the future. The last few weeks before we broke up had been a bit rocky because of a lot of upheaval in both of our lives as he just got a new job but I naively just thought we were going through a rough patch and nothing else. Then one day out of the blue, he said he felt confused and wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. I've tried very hard to give him space but he keeps on coming back, asking to meet up. When we do, he tells me he still loves me more than he thought he could love anyone, that he doesn't know if this is the right decision, but that he just feels so confused and scared that things won't change. To be honest, I wasn't aware there were issues but told him that I was very eager to talk them through and assuage any fears he might have-classic miscommunication issues right? Unfortunately, he keeps on saying he wish he had known these things before he had broken up with me.... I told him we can't speak anymore but to be honest, I'm completely devastated. I can't hold out hope that every time we speak he's missing me but there seems to be so much wrapped up in his own issues of not feeling good enough and perhaps depression that I don't really know how to help. I'm terrified that I've lost the most important person in my life and although I know a perfect match wouldn't behave like this, I still have trouble reconciling this. If anyone else has gone through similar situations it would be great to hear your stories. I'm getting incredibly mixed signals from someone who is clearly very confused and lost right now and while it's becoming increasingly evident that it's over, I'm not really sure how to make peace with this and ever bounce back. I'm scared for the rest of my life I might be carrying around this intense sense of loss with me.... Thanks
confusioncentral Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Hi Veryconfused, Sorry you find yourself in this situation, i kow how it feels. Unfortunatly the only person that can help him is himself, the best thing you can do is give him the space and time he needs to sort himself out and if he contacts you be honest with him about how you feel, If he ask's for your help and its possible to help him without causing yourself more pain then help but if its too painfull to keep in touch then you have to bite the bullet and tell him not to contact you for a while because the person who's wellbeing that is most important right now is you. I hope this helps. Could i trouble you for your view on my situation?
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