Sweets22 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) So, I am 11 days post break up with my fiance. I had made a vow to go low to no contact with him almost a week ago. Things were going well and I was feeling strong and empowered. Well, Sunday, I went out for beers and football with my best friend and of course we started talking about my break up. We also started talking about the good parts of my relationship, and I, naturally, started missing him. A lot. I don't know if it was the beer, the touch down jello shots, the rainy day...but I text him and he text me back. A few texts later and he agreed to come over (we now live 50 minutes apart) He showed up around 9 that night and we immediately fell back into our groove. We caught up on our lives, we kissed, laughed, held hands... Everything was very reminiscent of how we have always been. Of course we were intimate and it felt like home. It didn't feel like I was doing something I shouldn't have been doing. We stayed up extra late as we both had Monday off. We watched movies and cuddled. I love yous flying all over the place... Monday morning, we get up I make us breakfast and we decide to watch a movie before he headed home. Well, we ended up having pretty much the best day of our lives together (on both ends) We spend the whole day together being as close as we could, as loving as we could, sparing no affection. And then he was gone. I was great all night. I handled it well, thought I was in control, thought that I made a choice that would suit my couple of days and not affect my life. WRONG. I'm a friggin mess. I just don't understand this at all! We are becoming closer in our break up, but we are not getting back together. I can tell he's frustrated, and I can't help but feel taken advantage of. Please, if you're unfamiliar, read my break up story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305100/ This isn't a typical guy leaves girl, guy strings girl along situation. This is complicated. We love each other very much, but that is just not enough for him. I'm sitting here, and I am lost beyond measure because I don't know how to let him go. Love WAS and IS enough for me. I asked him how we could be what we were yesterday and now this today and he said "Because that is what we are now. Yesterday is what we were..." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? I feel I've taken 1,000 steps back in like an hour. I'm hurt and confused and angry. He text me today and asked if my daughter and I would like to go to dinner or to do something fun with him soon . What do I do? And on Monday, he's coming to town to watch the Packers/Vikings game with me and our best couple friends. What does all of this mean? I feel like a total idiot..like a 16 year old, naive girl who doesn't know any better. Edited November 8, 2011 by Sweets22
lymtal1 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 sweets, what do you want from him? i think you know that you may want more than he is willing to give you. you may need a frank conversation with him to explain how all that made you feel. also you need to tell him how you want the relationship to be. then be ready for that not being something that he wants. if that is the case, can you be ok with the way he wants it. if not, then you will have to do what is best for you at that point. that may mean going n/c and see where that takes you. but do it for you not to try and get him back. now is the time to get some clarity so you know where you two stand. the only way to do that is through some immediate communication. it may hurt you now if it is not what you want but better to know now then be strung along for too long. i am sorry you are hurting.
ChelseaLS Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Ah sweets, please be careful and do not settle if he wants the best of both worlds. He is confused. He knows you and you are comfortable and it sounds like he loves that and doesn't want to let it go... but he doesn't know single life and it's very enticing to him. Good luck.
M2155 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I didn't read your other post but I think you know what's happening. He enjoys being with you but not willing to invest in a relationship- he told you that. If he knows he can get with you like that, then there is no reason for him to pursue a relationship. If you want to be FWB- which I hope you don't- then keep allowing this. But if you have feelings or what more, you have to make the tough stand:(
josem Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Ah sweets, please be careful and do not settle if he wants the best of both worlds. He is confused. He knows you and you are comfortable and it sounds like he loves that and doesn't want to let it go... but he doesn't know single life and it's very enticing to him. Good luck. Youre 100% percent right....you must be careful...
Recommended Posts