discoqt Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 We have been dating a couple of months and lately he has been wanting more and more space. So I have put my happiness aside many times to grant him that space. in the last week. We have seen each other for a total of 1 hour. Well, we had plans for tonight. I called him to see if everything was still on. I didn't get an answer so I left him a message. He text me back and said "we need to talk". Now, I know there is no one else. He has been having doubts and we have talked about it. Like I said, I gave him the space he has wanted, but it seems it still isn't good enough. He says it is all him. He says I'm great and can't ask for a better GF...blah,blah,blah. He is getting scared by his own feelings. I don't know what to do or say to make him feel better about it. I just don't understand why he is reading so much into this dating thing. Isn't dating supposed to be casual and fun. I have given him no indication that I want things to be serious. So why is he sabatoging this relationship over his own fears or dilusions??? I want some advice on what to do or say when he call. It should be soon. I asked him not to wait long becuase I didn't want this to take up my whole night. I have been nice thus far. Should I start to be a little harsh. Maybe I have been TOO nice and understanding. I don't know. ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
dudesomewhere Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 nothing you can do really... for example what you just said...imagine a girl saying that to me...then imagine me saying...."now you sure? You sure you like me right? You don't have to say it if you don't mean it." Then the girl goes on and on about how she likes me, meanwhile I know and try to let her off the hook! Then we eventually break up because what I said was true. Damnit if the free movies and meals blind them so badly to stay with me ehehehehee hey, anyways, if you guys are "casual dating" how can you be bf/gf? Then there shouldn't be a thing to worry about right?
Author discoqt Posted May 21, 2004 Author Posted May 21, 2004 Well things were getting serious. Afew weeks ago. He pulled this crap again and got scared. So, we decided to take a step back and spend a little less time together. However, it has gone to the other extreme of not seeing each other at all. We are commited, but trying to keep things not so serious, if that makes any sense. I don't want to loose him. I think things could be great if and when he gets his head out of hi a$$. At the same time, I feel I have been more than paitent. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to handle things the right way when he calls. I'm just not sure what to say to him.
SoleMate Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 The right thing to say is, "I wish it could be different, and I may not fully understand, but I respect your decision." Try being really mature, and calm. You'll feel better about it.
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