waiting for love Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I met a guy 6 years ago when I was 14 and he was 16. We've been together ever since, although we have had some "on and offs". When we take breaks, we try to remain friends but it never ends up that way, we always end up being more than friends again. I have loved him with my whole heart for 6 years and he says he still doesn't know if he can love me (i usually blame this on things that happened in his past. i.e being cheated on). 4 years ago I moved out of state and away from him so at first we broke it off, but we got back together and we visit each other as often as possible (usually every month). We have great time when we are together and we always make each other laugh. We have our future planned out together (we even are looking at houses). But he did something to break my trust that made me rethink everything. Now I'm not sure if I want to be with him. For the past 6 years he has been the only sure thing in my life. He's always there for me and his friendship is one of the longest ones I've ever had. And I know I can tell him anything. I've also learned a lot of life lessons from him and he is/was everything to me. But I'm not sure if I should break up with him now. Basically he has trust issues (with everyone, not just me), I can't trust him now after what he did, I live far away, and I don't know if he will ever love me. But thinking about ending it with him makes me feel guilty and like I'm the bad guy. I also don't know how I'd get over him. Usually he is the one that ends things and I'm the one trying to fix it and get back with him.
ChelseaLS Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I met a guy 6 years ago when I was 14 and he was 16. We've been together ever since, although we have had some "on and offs". When we take breaks, we try to remain friends but it never ends up that way, we always end up being more than friends again. I have loved him with my whole heart for 6 years and he says he still doesn't know if he can love me (i usually blame this on things that happened in his past. i.e being cheated on). 4 years ago I moved out of state and away from him so at first we broke it off, but we got back together and we visit each other as often as possible (usually every month). We have great time when we are together and we always make each other laugh. We have our future planned out together (we even are looking at houses). But he did something to break my trust that made me rethink everything. Now I'm not sure if I want to be with him. For the past 6 years he has been the only sure thing in my life. He's always there for me and his friendship is one of the longest ones I've ever had. And I know I can tell him anything. I've also learned a lot of life lessons from him and he is/was everything to me. But I'm not sure if I should break up with him now. Basically he has trust issues (with everyone, not just me), I can't trust him now after what he did, I live far away, and I don't know if he will ever love me. But thinking about ending it with him makes me feel guilty and like I'm the bad guy. I also don't know how I'd get over him. Usually he is the one that ends things and I'm the one trying to fix it and get back with him. I am curious as to what he did, but I won't pry. Trust is a HUGE building block in a relationship ( I know, because I have my own trust issues, and that was part of the cause of my break up ). If you can't work through it together then what is the point of a relationship? You're missing a fundamental part.
Author waiting for love Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 thanks for your reply. To break my trust, he went through my computer and read emails and messages and such on it. Basically he noticed I was texting a guy and instead of asking me about it he snooped through my personal stuff.
ChelseaLS Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Oh gotcha. Yeah he has trust issues (me too) lol. Well to me that seems like something you guys could work through as long as he is willing. But he will have to get some sort of help/support on how to learn to trust. I know for myself, its not something I can just fix on my own.. I have tried.. had good intensions but alas, it didn't work when I tried on my own. Sit down and talk about it, see how you both feel and if it is something you can work through. I wish you the best.
Author waiting for love Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 we have talked about the trust issue. I've been willing to work with it. until now, because he stepped over the line with me. And trust isnt the only problem. Its been 6 years and he still doesnt know if he could ever love me. I stayed with him for so long becuase I love him so much but 6 years is a long time to give someone love and not have it returned.
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