Teuen101 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Looking guys im not the best typer and I don't use the best grammer so please don't give up on me while I'm typing this out and I'd like to say upfront I'm sorry. for my bad grammer and typing skills. I'm 36 I mer this chick she was 20...right I know what your thinking these tails are a dime a dozen on love shack an with all my heart I knew better I've been down this road a one or two times and lets be honest thats enough for anyone. She just came out of a divorce like 3 months before so she told me ..so she is 20 and divorced after being married 5 months..huge Red flag once again. So I tell her I know she likes me and I enjoy her but I feel she needs time alone and it would be a mistake to hook up this soon after all that happend to her, I explain in a few months she will be bored of me and she will tell me she loved me and but isn't in love with me and she will change her mind, after all how can she know what she wants after dealing with that that. But she begs and pleads with me and time moves on and she wins out she gets me, few months go by everything is perfect then all the sudden out of the blue she tells me she really hasn't been divored she was just sperated from her husband !!! Jaw dropper ! After shock and anger. I was like there is a reason she is bringing this up now and I was right !! she had thoughts of getting back with him and was just letting me know she was on the bubble about her feelings. I asked her what she wanted and in tears she said she wanted me I am the perfect guy for her and losing me would be a huge mistake...So I forgive..Thus I becasme a enabler... few more months go by and the same issues comes up again ! after some heated argument and crying ...she changes her mind and thinks I'm best for her. so this past months she asks if we could be just friends out of the blue b/c she didn't know what she wanted and she knows I need some one better in my life...you know that line of crap..I've heard it all before.. So I'm like friends never work out. I've tried they just never do ..I said the reason we work so well is we are friends and lovers and we are in love..then she said the words that I didn't want to hear she said " she loves me" but isnt sure she is in love with me...I was like wow.. She says she needs to give her husband a 2nd shot ..I ask her if he knows about me and she said no..then after a agument she says she isn't going back but don't know what she wants..she says she wants to be alone..so I'm like that fine lets try friendship and see what happens.. Well I find out from friends she is sleeping with her husband the guy she has been broke up with for a year..and friend of mine calls me and drops the bomb on me that they slep together as well...so I'm hurt crushed the works.. But I forgive, however she is seeing someone else all the sudden, I called her he picked up the phone. she says its just a friend. but lets be honest why have him over at 3am ? guys and chicks dont hang out at 3am just to hang out lets get real I'm a guy. So I facebooked her husband and contacted him and we talked. he didn't know about me and filled in the blanks for me and I filled in the blanks for him and we both confronted her. LOL wish you could seen her face priceless moment .) so later on that night she calls me and says ..I ruined her life and Im a$$ jerk .. So I'm now NC with her she blocked me on facebook just to unblock me why ? I guess so I could see her talking to this new guy Nick she has been hanging out with everynight.. anyway I could go on and on ..But yes Im a enabler But me and her husband exposed her...it's been a 8 months filled so many head games and lies ..I could wrote a 16 page thread..
Author Teuen101 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 anyway I just had to vent this...she been contacting me . but I havent broke NC...whats crazy is I care ! she takes the cake
Von Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Wow that was amazingly crappy what you went through. Im 100% certain my ex made the same stupid decision, made the same excuses, and left me for her ex! These women are very damaged. Its weird but I have hope for them though. Either they may realize or someone will come who will make them stop the crazy behaviour Stay NC!
ChelseaLS Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Wow that was amazingly crappy what you went through. Im 100% certain my ex made the same stupid decision, made the same excuses, and left me for her ex! These women are very damaged. Its weird but I have hope for them though. Either they may realize or someone will come who will make them stop the crazy behaviour Stay NC! Yuck, these kinds of people make me feel gross inside and then they wonder why it all falls apart and their lies are exposed. Staying NC is right. No more forgiving. You have forgiven her far to much, and she was lucky enough to have you forgive her the first few times. Good Luck.
DownNotOut Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Teuen - sorry to hear man, it's very similar to my story, although it wasn't a husband she was wanting to get back with, but her babydaddy ex. I did the same thing and exposed her lies after talking to her ex's girlfriend and comparing notes. She of course denied any wrongdoing, but there was just too much for me to look the other way - thousands of text messages exchanged, some of which I saw - emails, etc. I would stick to NC and run. I don't know if I'll be dating anyone between 20-25 in the near future, because most of the time in my experience that haven't figured out what they want in life. See my thread and you'll see striking similarities: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305160/
Author Teuen101 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) In my case they where Divorced, or so she said when we met. however few months later I get the bad news she only seprated and he was living a few hours away him with his mom and he is in the army and is gone most the time so she was able to keep the BS lies going with him not being around. the kicker was he had no clue a divorce was coming. she was taking his money and mine. man if only you knew the **** she did. it took me some time to figure it out.. But me and him got in touch. I told him I was sorry and not only did she cheat on him she cheated on me as well and with in a day after we confronted her she was with some othere guy. I know my post above was just crazy ..I felt like I had to talk about it and it came screaming out as I typed it.. her telling me she loved me and having sex with me and him and lord knows who else. why contact me on facebook now ? with little crappy remark ? and unblock me so I can see her with some new guy ? is she just trying to kick my teeth in now that me and her ex husband confronted her and blew up her little plan ? do people feel guilt at all ? why blameshift all this on me ? Edited November 8, 2011 by Teuen101 spelling
leoc1973 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I don't know where to start with this one. I am a 37 year old guy. The thought of even touching a 20 year old kinda makes me a little grossed out. When I look at a girl that young I see a child. I guess you probably have one of those grass on the field mentalities. Yes her body is developed but so are a lot of 15 year olds these days. You pounced on a young confused child probably cause she has a great body and pretty face. She was probably confused and so screwed up from the divorce. But you had to have her. The only reason a girl that age wants a guy our age is cause they usually have daddy issues anyways. Girls change so much between 18 and 28 if you keep going after them you are gonna be a 45 year old that got dumped cause his 28 year old girlfriend realized she doesn't want an old man. Then you and this girls husband confront her(a child remember) and try to screw her up even more. Leave her alone find someone your own age or at least 25 when her mind is fully developed because age isn't only a number. There are plenty of beautiful 30 year olds out there with their lives straight and good heads on their shoulders. I have a cousin who keeps screwing 18 and 19 year old girls and he is our age too and is constantly over my house crying about these girls wanting to go out and have fun. It gets old.
wilsonx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 why contact me on facebook now ? with little crappy remark ? and unblock me so I can see her with some new guy ? is she just trying to kick my teeth in now that me and her ex husband confronted her and blew up her little plan ? do people feel guilt at all ? why blameshift all this on me ? None of this matters, look hindsight is 20/20. You made a decision based on the opposite of what your instincts were telling you. I can tell that you have read several of my threads from the word enabler. The focus should be on you. Why did you go against your gut? Its good that you confronted her and busted her but one thing I have learned is I caught my ex the same way, except shes now with the other guy. People with extremely low self esteem need it to be validated. They hate rejection. People like her are probably never going to change. You use to word enabling. You are enabling her in getting a reaction from you with facebook. Block her and be done with it.
Author Teuen101 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Thats why I never replyed. it's no win and no point in it. even if she came crawling back. it's no win, as much as I'd love to take her back and say everything is ok. It just wont work, thus, I haven't replyed, let her bang whoever, at the end of the day she will have the same problem as she did before. I should have followed my gut feeling. But I wanted to believe, trust me I knew better. In our last chat before I poofed into thin air..I said Look I've been right about everything...and get this ..I'm so right I know the next penis you'll be sucking and while your sucking it think about this I predicted it..so as you gobble his man tool down and enjoy just think I knew you'd be there before you did ...so thanks for making my point. so at the end of the day your right where I said you'd be
Author Teuen101 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 I don't know where to start with this one. I am a 37 year old guy. The thought of even touching a 20 year old kinda makes me a little grossed out. When I look at a girl that young I see a child. I guess you probably have one of those grass on the field mentalities. Yes her body is developed but so are a lot of 15 year olds these days. You pounced on a young confused child probably cause she has a great body and pretty face. She was probably confused and so screwed up from the divorce. But you had to have her. The only reason a girl that age wants a guy our age is cause they usually have daddy issues anyways. Girls change so much between 18 and 28 if you keep going after them you are gonna be a 45 year old that got dumped cause his 28 year old girlfriend realized she doesn't want an old man. Then you and this girls husband confront her(a child remember) and try to screw her up even more. Leave her alone find someone your own age or at least 25 when her mind is fully developed because age isn't only a number. There are plenty of beautiful 30 year olds out there with their lives straight and good heads on their shoulders. I have a cousin who keeps screwing 18 and 19 year old girls and he is our age too and is constantly over my house crying about these girls wanting to go out and have fun. It gets old. your right but things like this can happen at any age, example my grandfather was 36 when he met my grandmother she was 19 they had 18 kids together. age is just a number and anyone at any age could have pulled this. but the odds favor your logic and reason. I didnt plan on meeting anyone we just met and hit it off. trust me I had my talk with her about what might happen. she pushed hard to make it happen. "however all lies" if i'd known she was married it would ended right then later on she said thats why she didnt tell me she was married. looking back on it yes very stupid on my part
wilsonx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 who are you 2 to judge him? 20 is not predatory. Hate to burst your bubble. She chose to go with him. It takes 2 to tango. He pushed she pulled You guys are in your 30s and are judging. Its a shame.
Author Teuen101 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 maybe your right however we all say things in the heat of the moment when we find out were in a love trangle..like the bumper stickers says **** happens. thanks for your insight and thanks to you all for giving me a place to get this off my chest you really dont know what it means to me to read here. thanks again
ChelseaLS Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Age is just a number. My ex and I had 7 years difference between us.. and some people looked at that funny, but we were on the same page and our maturity's matched.
betterdeal Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Change your phone number, block her on Facebook, move on.
lovesickmonkey Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I'm curious ... were her husband and other boyfriends also much older or was it just you? I'm curious because I came out of a relationship where I was 18 years older.
lovesickmonkey Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 if you keep going after them you are gonna be a 45 year old that got dumped cause his 28 year old girlfriend realized she doesn't want an old man. I was 43 and she was 25. You hit the nail on the head. Ouch. I am going to try to resist if I'm ever in the same situation again.
Author Teuen101 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 I'm curious ... were her husband and other boyfriends also much older or was it just you? I'm curious because I came out of a relationship where I was 18 years older. no younger them in there med to upper 20es Update From what I'm told from common friend this new guy just came into her life this week. on the 2nd me and her husband confronted her on the 9th she changed her facebook status again from single to in a relationship..all in a week she said new guys knows all the problems and is willing to take the risk with her and he is very understanding. so I'm told. just shocking how in under a week she took no time to heal just jumped into a new relationship. Poor new guy
betterdeal Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Good sex? Tits - small and pointy or big and round?
Rorschach64 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 It happens man, try 4 days after the break up finding someone else haha. They do it for multiple reasons. Not only that this person was probably one of the main reasons why the break up occured, this person probably was feeding the whole "Oh if I was your bf/gf I would do this blah blah." Another reason if the previous statement is not correct, they avoid trying to look at themselves during the break up as being at fault and just are jumpers. People are messed up, weak, and can't look at themselves really deeply and hard.
Author Teuen101 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 (edited) I'm not to worried about this I just needed a place to vent get it off my chest. she is blameshifting and doing a rebound all at the same time. I made the big mistake of getting with her while she was married even tho. I didnt know that. I should have stood my ground more- this is all my fault for not having the balls early on to say hey. this is BS and walking. This new guy is her age maybe they can help one another, who knows ? I think she'd eat a 20 year old guy for lunch, he wont know what hit him but then again I could be wrong. I thought I knew what I was doing too when I was dealing with her but I made my mistakes too by not walking away sooner when I should have. I was trying to be captain save a HO The best thing I did was to expose her for the cheater she was. I was really impressed how me and her ex husband delt with her together. But she didn't care she had some one else 3 days later and she was steam rolling right along. I'm out the game is over and it sure was a life lesson. Edited November 9, 2011 by Teuen101 spelling
Author Teuen101 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 It happens man, try 4 days after the break up finding someone else haha. They do it for multiple reasons. Not only that this person was probably one of the main reasons why the break up occured, this person probably was feeding the whole "Oh if I was your bf/gf I would do this blah blah." Another reason if the previous statement is not correct, they avoid trying to look at themselves during the break up as being at fault and just are jumpers. People are messed up, weak, and can't look at themselves really deeply and hard. To be honest I was the weak one I handed her all the power in the relationship, she did as she pleased.. Sure she as issues with her self she will not look at but thats somthing she'll have to figure out..she has to see that for her self and help her self. She blames me for everything, even tho I forgave her cheating on me, infact i should dumped her right then. But I was trying to be captain save a HO she'll learn, I'm sure one day she'll be gut shot, happens too us all .. I don't care if she ever figures it out. I'm figuring it out. she'll be back in my life and I'll hear all about this stuff but only as a friend. maybe a year or 2 from now.. Most of my ex's come back to me and try later, they miss how would caretaker them and enable them lol =) However I never get back with them,once that door is closed- it's closed.
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