Kage111 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I got into a fight with this girl I was dating because she flaked out on me. We were supposed to meet up at 8 pm on Friday for dinner, and all throughout the day she keeps texting me and calling me, telling me how excited she was to see me. Finally, at 6 pm, she says how she's super tired and is just gonna go home. Now this was a huge problem when we first started dating but she had been very good the last few weeks. I get uncharacteristically angry (I'm usually very easygoing) because I told a lot of other people that day that I was busy that night. So I end up spending my Friday night arguing on the phone for hours. I wait a bit, cool off, and send a small text saying how I didn't appreciate her flakiness and how I would like her to work on it. She said she will. Everything goes back to normal, and we reconfirm our plans to go out to a football game on Saturday. Saturday comes, no good morning text like I would usually get. I end up getting to the game, and of course, she's not there, she's "sick." And I have to hear it from her friend! Luckily, I didn't go alone and had all my friends and her friends there, all on my side, telling me how I did good getting mad at her and how I should just leave her already. So I'm mad, sad, and surrounded by friends and alcohol... you can guess what happened... She eventually texts very happily "Hi! How's the game? Sorry I couldn't make it..." Something like that. I'm still in "nice-guy" mode and I reply that I hope she feels better and blah blah blah... But then, I have a few more drinks... and we keep texting... and I let slip that some of her friends were telling me to leave her already... Suddenly the **** has hit the fan and she calls, yells at me, and hangs up. Texted her a few messages during the game but no reply... called her, no answer... So I give her Sunday, to cool off, and I text her this morning. "Hey, how are you feeling?" No answer. I wait a few hours and then text "I guess you're not ok... I'm really sorry for anything I said on Saturday and I'll leave you alone until you feel like talking again..." So I really feel down... It just seemed like a really quick turnaround from happy to angry and now I guess it just sucks to say this is it so soon...
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Honestly doesn't seem like anything worth saving. At this point, she will probably blame you for the "breakup". So be it. Move on. By the way, how long had you been dating...?
Author Kage111 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Only a month... It's weird that I care so much for such a short thing, but for me these are few and far in between so it hurts to see them fall apart. And I feel like you're right about the "me being blamed" for this breakup. She would always tell me about her exes and how they were crazy and obsessed with her and how they would always get mad if she didn't go out with them... I suppose I've become one of those poor guys now...
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Only a month... It's weird that I care so much for such a short thing, but for me these are few and far in between so it hurts to see them fall apart. And I feel like you're right about the "me being blamed" for this breakup. She would always tell me about her exes and how they were crazy and obsessed with her and how they would always get mad if she didn't go out with them... I suppose I've become one of those poor guys now... Yep...your recent behavior certainly reflects that...lesson learned, cool it with the texting...if she wants to talk to you, she'll talk to you...and it seemed pretty clear that she wasn't very responsive or didn't take much or any initiative of her own, which is a turn off for me...
Lobouspo Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Dude, you have only dated this girl for a month and a clear pattern exists with her. If she is this unreliable this early in the game, it won't get better, it will just get worse. I don't think you did anything wrong myself. As matter of fact I would bail now while you don't have much vested......and geez what the hell is it with so much flaky, unreliable, behavior by people these days???? Whatever happened to keeping your word and common courtesy?? Just reading threads on here it seems par for the course these days.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Kage, sounds like she has a pattern of behavior with her flackiness. She isn't changing anytime soon. So if you want more of the same, keep playing with her. If your tired of it, move on.
Author Kage111 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 It's funny when I read other threads where the OP says how something about the girl their dating is problematic and everyone says it won't get better and he defends her saying "but she can change" I've read enough of those threads to know that everyone here is right. She won't change, and I should only stay if I enjoy the pain she puts me through... and I don't! The people of LoveShack have never been wrong to me. (I usually don't listen, which is why I have so many problems...) Hopefully I stay strong on this one.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 If she is young, and it sounds like she is, she might change as she matures. But just not anytime soon. People don't normally do 180s on request. Not unless something tramatic happens to them. It's a learning process.
Author Kage111 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Posted November 12, 2011 Well... I'm amazed I made it to the end of the week without trying to contact her... But I got weak, came here, read a few articles that made me sadder, and called her up. First call disconnected... So of course I called again, straight to voicemail. Finally I text "Are 'we' over? Just tell me that..." and almost immediately I get the response: "Hey sorry I haven't been texting you this week, I've been really busy. What's up?"
blaze918 Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Haha oh man I've made the exact same mistake as you...I was supposed to meet up with the hottest girl I've ever met (easily a 10, we had been on a few dates in the past) and she ended up not being able to go because of family stuff...I was totally cool at first but then ended up making a *huge deal out of it. No more dates after that...my bad. Granted I had messed up with her on a few other occasion in the past.
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