Mooninite1 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 First off, hello to everyone! My name is Evan. Okay. I never thought I would still have these questions at 24, but maybe some of you out there can help me out. I am not going to sit here and say that I am experienced with women, in fact, I am very shy, which is contributing to my problem. I will try and keep it as short and brief as possible. Basically, around a month ago, I started getting signs from a woman that she either liked me, or wanted me to ask her out. The first red flag to me was when she asked me if I had a girlfriend out of the blue. In my limited experience, this seems to be a pretty decent indicator of interest. Now, being the skeptic that I am, I brushed it off as her just being friendly, as she is with most people. A major problem is that I am her boss. Now, there is no company policy against this, but in my opinion, this type of relationship is borderline as far as it being acceptable is concerned. At one point she was received a phone call while she was talking with me and she answered. She ended the conversation with "I Love You, I'll see you at home." After a brief pause after she hung up, she told me that it was her mom on the phone. This one really stood out to me. As the days passed I was receiving slightly less obvious signals from her, but often. She would repeatedly tell me that she does not have a boyfriend, would grab my arm and hold it while talking to me, smiling at me a lot. There were many more signals that really aren't important enough for me to list, just take my word for it. Now, aside from being incredibly shy, and the fact that I am her manager and nervous about the repercussions of pursuing a relationship with her... I am starting to feel that I am running out of time to make some sort of move, even if it just involves asking her to go for a drink after work one night. She has become much less flirty at work, and hasn't shown the same interest, although she still makes the occasional comment to me. We were speaking through texts for a few weeks, and eventually I got the impression that I was bothering her. Her answers became delayed, short, and she just seemed disinterested. After four days of no contact, she decided to text me, which was one of the few times she engaged a text with me. Sometimes shes warm and bubbly, other times I feel like I should lay off because I feel that I am bothering her. Sorry for the rant. Here are my questions. 1.) Have I waited too long? 2.) Did she lose all interest? 3.)Is she still interested, but will no longer put forth the effort? 4.) Is she just playing games to maybe get me to get a move on it? 5.) Finally, is it worth it for me to pursue at this point? or did I do too much damage by stalling it out? This woman is beautiful, sweet, and smart, and i'd like to get to know her more. Normally I would NEVER wait a whole month, but the work situation called for it unfortunately. She probably thinks I have been just playing games and flirting at this point. I feel that I am 90% certain that I could have succeeded with her had I asked 3 weeks ago.
Death Punch Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I don't know if I will be of any help, i was just lead on by a girl and then kicked under the bus (women are so odd) so shows you what I know but here is what I think... (i will answer you list form of questions) 1.) Have I waited too long? perhaps, when is the last time you have spoken? there was 4 days of no contact but then she texted YOU so maybe she is still interested in you 2.) Did she lose all interest? Hard to tell 3.)Is she still interested, but will no longer put forth the effort? sounds like she isn't putting out much effort, does she give off signals of attraction still? 4.) Is she just playing games to maybe get me to get a move on it? women love these disrespectful games, she is either doing that or just to mess with your mind. I would make a move either way it depends on the value of "what have I got to lose?" you are her boss so things might become awkward if you fail you must decide. be confident 5.) Finally, is it worth it for me to pursue at this point? or did I do too much damage by stalling it out? This woman is beautiful, sweet, and smart, and i'd like to get to know her more. I would say it's still worth it if you are that attracted to her, she could of been "the one who got away" I would appreciate if you read and responded to my post as well http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305597/
jobaba Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 First off, hello to everyone! My name is Evan. Okay. I never thought I would still have these questions at 24, but maybe some of you out there can help me out. I am not going to sit here and say that I am experienced with women, in fact, I am very shy, which is contributing to my problem. I will try and keep it as short and brief as possible. Basically, around a month ago, I started getting signs from a woman that she either liked me, or wanted me to ask her out. The first red flag to me was when she asked me if I had a girlfriend out of the blue. In my limited experience, this seems to be a pretty decent indicator of interest. Now, being the skeptic that I am, I brushed it off as her just being friendly, as she is with most people. A major problem is that I am her boss. Now, there is no company policy against this, but in my opinion, this type of relationship is borderline as far as it being acceptable is concerned. At one point she was received a phone call while she was talking with me and she answered. She ended the conversation with "I Love You, I'll see you at home." After a brief pause after she hung up, she told me that it was her mom on the phone. This one really stood out to me. As the days passed I was receiving slightly less obvious signals from her, but often. She would repeatedly tell me that she does not have a boyfriend, would grab my arm and hold it while talking to me, smiling at me a lot. There were many more signals that really aren't important enough for me to list, just take my word for it. Now, aside from being incredibly shy, and the fact that I am her manager and nervous about the repercussions of pursuing a relationship with her... I am starting to feel that I am running out of time to make some sort of move, even if it just involves asking her to go for a drink after work one night. She has become much less flirty at work, and hasn't shown the same interest, although she still makes the occasional comment to me. We were speaking through texts for a few weeks, and eventually I got the impression that I was bothering her. Her answers became delayed, short, and she just seemed disinterested. After four days of no contact, she decided to text me, which was one of the few times she engaged a text with me. Sometimes shes warm and bubbly, other times I feel like I should lay off because I feel that I am bothering her. Sorry for the rant. Here are my questions. 1.) Have I waited too long? 2.) Did she lose all interest? 3.)Is she still interested, but will no longer put forth the effort? 4.) Is she just playing games to maybe get me to get a move on it? 5.) Finally, is it worth it for me to pursue at this point? or did I do too much damage by stalling it out? This woman is beautiful, sweet, and smart, and i'd like to get to know her more. Normally I would NEVER wait a whole month, but the work situation called for it unfortunately. She probably thinks I have been just playing games and flirting at this point. I feel that I am 90% certain that I could have succeeded with her had I asked 3 weeks ago. All of your question (bolded) mean nothing. Either ask her out or grab and make out with her in the coffee room or leave her alone and forget about her. Also, it astounds me the amount of guys who post and say, "I'm not good with women. I'm a shy guy." If you're shy, and a generally undesirable male, you are f@cked. So, the first thing to do is stop calling yourself shy. It's an excuse, a copout.
Author Mooninite1 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 All of your question (bolded) mean nothing. Either ask her out or grab and make out with her in the coffee room or leave her alone and forget about her. Also, it astounds me the amount of guys who post and say, "I'm not good with women. I'm a shy guy." If you're shy, and a generally undesirable male, you are f@cked. So, the first thing to do is stop calling yourself shy. It's an excuse, a copout. I wouldn't say that I am shy to the point where it cripples me. However, I feel that the fact that I tend to be shy, and the fact that she works under me, does not make for a good combination for a guy who already has his reservations with making moves.
Author Mooninite1 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I don't know if I will be of any help, i was just lead on by a girl and then kicked under the bus (women are so odd) so shows you what I know but here is what I think... (i will answer you list form of questions) 1.) Have I waited too long? perhaps, when is the last time you have spoken? there was 4 days of no contact but then she texted YOU so maybe she is still interested in you 2.) Did she lose all interest? Hard to tell 3.)Is she still interested, but will no longer put forth the effort? sounds like she isn't putting out much effort, does she give off signals of attraction still? 4.) Is she just playing games to maybe get me to get a move on it? women love these disrespectful games, she is either doing that or just to mess with your mind. I would make a move either way it depends on the value of "what have I got to lose?" you are her boss so things might become awkward if you fail you must decide. be confident 5.) Finally, is it worth it for me to pursue at this point? or did I do too much damage by stalling it out? This woman is beautiful, sweet, and smart, and i'd like to get to know her more. I would say it's still worth it if you are that attracted to her, she could of been "the one who got away" I would appreciate if you read and responded to my post as well http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305597/ 1.) I spoke to her last night, although briefly. She asked me what time she was supposed to come in to work the next day. This was odd to me, as her schedule is the same every week, unless she changes with someone, or we tell them in advance. 3.) The signals of attraction have definitely slowed as of late, however, she still makes it a point to tell me that she does not have a boyfriend. 4.) This is exactly what is holding me back. I could care less if I feel awkward. I'll get over it.. however, I don't want to make her feel awkward, especially as her manager. 5.) That's what I am leaning towards! Wish me luck!
Death Punch Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 ya bro no problem good luck let us know how it goes
Recommended Posts