MsLandon Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Ok, yes I need plenty of advice...laughing. I've never really been an "Ice Princess" per se, but I've been told on several occassions that I'm very hard to read. How does one tow the line between showing interest, without appearing overbearing, desparate or needy? I want to improve. But at the same time, I'm not a pursuer so I guess balance is important. Typically I don't demonstrate any interest and I'd like to change that.
HokeyReligions Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Not quite being a master at flirtation I was told that the 'hair toss' is still quite viable. I thought it silly, but I actually DO get more attention when I tilt my head and toss my hair over my shoulder, vs. the way I used to just use both hands to pull it back and tie a knot in it! Eye contact and a S*M*I*L*E are effective too. Listening skills are good--when you are talking with someone, make them feel like they are the only person around and they have your undivided attention. That has helped ease tensions with my husband because I used to always be thinking three steps ahead and he could tell. My eyes would dart to the kitchen, or the clock, or just down or 'away' and even though I was listening to him and hearing him, he didn't feel as important as he should have. He, on the other hand, still does the disinterested thing a LOT when I'm talking and I just reach out and slug him! (love slugs--not abuse) Sometimes it is as simple, and as subtle, as the way you sit, hold a drink, cross your legs or ankles, and whisper. Whispering is good because guys have to lean in closer to hear you. Brush against an arm sometimes (sounds so sophmoric but it still works) and when shaking hands with a man, shake slow. Slide your hand into his slowly (not ridiculously slow) but slide your hand in gently in a forward motion, don't just whip that hand around so your palms slap. Stupid stuff like this, which I guess if we are going after sensousness isn't so stupid, actually does work. Good Luck!
LILUIL Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 Originally posted by MsLandon Ok, yes I need plenty of advice...laughing. I've never really been an "Ice Princess" per se, but I've been told on several occassions that I'm very hard to read. How does one tow the line between showing interest, without appearing overbearing, desparate or needy? I want to improve. But at the same time, I'm not a pursuer so I guess balance is important. Typically I don't demonstrate any interest and I'd like to change that. give me a five! i get what you mean. i think i live my life like an open book and when people tell me (especially bfs) it's hard to read me, i think to meself : u'r a dumba$$ that's why cant see the real me, but i hold back on all urges to scream and sweetly reply "i guess it takes time to know a person" i think lets keep things simple.... be yourself and if you agree with something say it, if you disagree give your opinion why and that gives the people around us an idea of where we stand in our beliefs, principles and our character. i dont think theres one person in this world who should be taken at face value, what say you? everyone has depth and guess it's because they have not discovered who you are underneath ur skin or deep down in your heart that they say 'they cant read you' bah, humbug! not your fault
Author MsLandon Posted May 22, 2004 Author Posted May 22, 2004 Originally posted by LILUIL give me a five! i get what you mean. i think i live my life like an open book and when people tell me (especially bfs) it's hard to read me, i think to meself : u'r a dumba$$ that's why cant see the real me, but i hold back on all urges to scream and sweetly reply "i guess it takes time to know a person" i think lets keep things simple.... be yourself and if you agree with something say it, if you disagree give your opinion why and that gives the people around us an idea of where we stand in our beliefs, principles and our character. i dont think theres one person in this world who should be taken at face value, what say you? everyone has depth and guess it's because they have not discovered who you are underneath ur skin or deep down in your heart that they say 'they cant read you' bah, humbug! not your fault Yes, I'm exactly like that!!! Glad I'm not alone! high five! laughing. I'm pretty vocal about my thoughts...and I'm not very shy at all. I guess what they are referring to is me being hard to read on a romantic level. For instance the guy I wrote about before. When he took em out for my b-day it was obvious that he wanted to kiss me. He kissed me on the cheek 3 times but didn't make the "move." so to speak. Well, I said goodnight, then I thought, "I wanna see what it would be like to kiss him. " I'm not really in to kissing until I'm really there emotionally, but I wanted to know if there was a spark on a physical level so I called him back and we kissed for like 15 minutes. When we talked about it later, he said that he was really glad that I called him back because he really wanted to kiss me but didn't get the vibe that I wanted to kiss him at that time. WHY??? What the heck am I doing wrong. It's that type of thing, or men thinking that I"m not interested romantically when I am. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. How do you over come that without going overboard? and still allow him to chase? Ya know?
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